I have a salary of 30 thousand copies.

YYY: Can you ask, how much do you get? and :)

I get a penny and I get it :)

Oh, the snow is gone!
When I went to work, he went.
I didn’t go when I went.

Until you buy a new tube, the toothpaste is endless!

Mickey, let me tell you. February 14 is a historically...
The monk was killed. Will we celebrate?

Not a bad reason.

I choose a mixer with my wife. I show her a blender with blades instead of the usual twists, which I immediately get the answer:
Wife: No, it is a standstill.
I : Why?
Wife: You cannot lick.
I am O_0

I heard that Andrew was running after you.
YYY: Yeah, their goods are running after me. I’m not guilty that I’m a cancer woman.

I had a business trip, settled in a decent hotel where girls with services do not call, I go to bed and suddenly a phone call, a pleasant female voice
She is: Hi!
I am: Hi!
She: How is it?
I: Okay, and what about you?
We talked for ten minutes and I was tired.
I: Okay, let’s get closer to the matter, how much is the hour?
Let’s talk at home!! He throws the phone.

I am not bad :)

Chat in Belarus:
XX: Our children are born patriots immediately. Give a child at 1 year 8 months a bulletin - he will immediately put the right bird!
YYY: No in 1 and 8, but in 1 and 6 maximum. You need to be more conscious, more conscious.
There are legends that especially patriotic children are born immediately with characteristic thighs.
Even the girls...

In time, programmers develop the habit of avoiding ambiguities at all costs, which brings a light shade of absurdity to their speech.
Dialogue at work:
Q: Sergey, do you not fear that this device will fall and crush your fingers?
Yyy: Yes, I am not afraid; No, I am not afraid.

The Lexus...
An employee of the Russian Post fell from the window of the seventh floor and fell two weeks later. and (- :
I like to share.
22 Jan at 22:49

smoke
He lost valuable things.

My mother is a very economical creature. Once she told her that the note was heating, I would have to buy a setup. Answer: "And you put it on a hot tub with cold water, and you cool the laptop, and boil the water - then you can wash the dishes."

have read? Remember to! Pellets, soup and tea.
You can post this hernia on every page of the plizz, or I read it an hour and a half before your post.

The fucking man burned with his lover.
I looked and shouted with joy "Dobby Freedom!", hiding in an unknown direction.

I once worked in a large department as a boss. One evening, when all my colleagues left and I stopped, my wife came to me. Word by word, there was sex, and the wife's trousers slipped on the floor. In the morning, I saw them, cleaned them in my box, and for 2 years safely forgot them.
In the promotion decided to disassemble the shirt, and came to these pants. On the way of their appearance I did not remember at all, so I asked my deputy the most logical, as I thought, question:
Natasha, is it yours?
The astonishment in Natasha's eyes deprived her of the gift of speech, but she was able to shake herself:
– No...
I was very busy thinking about raising to analyze the situation, acted "on the machine", so the same question was asked first to six other women - the inhabitants of the cabinet, and then - the son of Zamdira:
Arcadia, isn’t it yours?

At the same time, there was a new boss in my place, who took over my affairs, and in his view I have many other things: respect for me, and the joy that I did not have to work with me, and the panic from the expected process of establishing contact with the team.

At home, I told my wife the story, and she reminded me where I got those trousers from.

As Arkady later told, the rumors went on for six months.

I sit over my own humor.
Solitary: It was bad.
Lonely people: bad
Solitary: Even though

As the saying goes, show me your monitor and I’ll tell you if you’re eating mandarines at the computer.

I already know how to say in Japanese "Make Me Tea" and "Cat, You're a Fool"
What do you call this cat? ? XDDDDD
He didn’t understand Russian when I told him that.
YYY: Do you understand Japanese?
XX: Well he said something, but I probably haven’t come to those words yet.

We realized with proger that we work in the "right" office. The director bowed in front of the accounting office and bought them an offgenic set of cakes so that they could quickly calculate taxes. And there the girls thought-out - brought these cakes to us, that we would not block them social networks and cut off traffic. Do not leave from work)

Office highs somewhere in the hometown:

hidishers: went down to buy a pie - there some woman with a guard will fight him to her - "striped here who got! You do not present a passport, and then everything disappears". His wife - "what is missing from you? The helicopter is out and the helicopter is gone!" (I look and see that the helicopter is really not anywhere nearby...=)))

I have one friend. Boy 195 cm tall and weighing under 100 kg. Because of this, he does not like stretching clothes and wears loose shorts. And he also has curly hair and so he walks in a cap. He came back late in the evening from the store, thinking. Neither in the entrance nor in the street. At the entrance there is a little girl looking for a key to the homephone in her bag. He approaches the girl with a quick step, so that the door does not have time to clog. The girl saw him, whispered out of fear and went up the stairs, almost knocking out the keys. Then the aunt entered the entrance, and the guy stood, the elevator called, waiting. The woman thought, thought and walked. A man is sitting, worried.