bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148123
 13.01.2018
I am standing in the subway, waiting for my husband. It’s κο I have a question:
– Α ʙDo you love cats?
I think what will offer to take a cat and I answer what is not. Aunt has a fatal error: who doesn't like cats? I understood what aunt hanged and had something to grasp:
I have a cat!
And I don’t do it! I am collecting cats, give at least a little?
I have no cash.
– A ʙs can be translated to the map!
Τeep and I have fatal errrοr.
What do you think ckopo beggars will start walking with the tempminals?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148122
 13.01.2018
Why all over the world, in ancient legends and fairy tales, there are dragons of all kinds flying and only Russian snakes have a three-headed horn?
We must go to battle sober.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148121
 13.01.2018
I stand with my wife's brother on the street, we talk, he prints a pack of cigarettes, smokes.

From where to where on the side to us intentionally moves a man of the boomerang-alcoholic type.

Next dialogue: (M is a man, B is a brother)

M: Let me smoke, addressing my brother.

B: No question, hold, stretch the cigarette.

M: Can I have two?

B: Please extend the second.

Q: Do you give me one more for later?

B: It extends the third silence.

The man thanks, turns to where he came from, takes a step, but returns with the words:

M: Let me leave you these three cigarettes, and you give me the whole pack?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148120
 12.01.2018
Please give me a chocolate candy.
How much?
Gram is 100.
340 grams was achieved
Okay let us.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148119
 12.01.2018
Option 2

This day I am pozʙonil pebeenok, which was počat ʙ 1995 yeary from cpepma, which is ppopy i cdal ʙ bnk. My current wife, c whoever we know ʙ 2003 year, ckzala, what I am changing, and pdla pdla pazʙod.

1st Give it to court. Donor information is strictly confidential. You will not judge much in our country, but the decision will definitely be in your favor.

2nd not fucking

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148118
 12.01.2018
By the way, I have now checked the scripts.
If you buy only a package in St. Petersburg, the cashier asks if you need a package.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148117
 12.01.2018
This

Straga: My wife has become old, it is very bad to hear. I say to her: One rapper is like a few relatives, drive out in the nursery, two you want. No more need, the mortgage still pay. She brought me two more...

Three rabbis in the house is really overwhelming.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148116
 12.01.2018
the only update needed by all messengers and social networks - the button with the automatic form "read, no strength to speak, I will answer later"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148115
 12.01.2018
Arshavin rushed to the gate, shouting that he was the husband of the FSB Major.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148114
 12.01.2018
A guy suggested a girl to find his penis among photos of 200 male penises.
And if my girlfriend asked me to find her vulva among 200 others, I would consider it all.
3: My master gave me plans for the evening - to play together in some interesting board. I’ll ask these guys to send me both sets of photos, I’ll print and offer him an unparalleled author’s development game. It is called - "Finding matches"!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148113
 12.01.2018
This would be the arrest of the German military columns in the morning of June 22, 1941.

And so in the end they did. and Nuremberg too. The rest is just a prolonged resistance to arrest.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148112
 12.01.2018
You cannot infect a duck with a computer virus by changing its behavior. It is not possible to maliciously reprogram the shell. You cannot use the hidden vulnerability in the goat.

No, it is the same there. The chicken, for example, has an exploit with positioning - it can be caught in a coma simply by turning it right.
A phenotype is to train climbing trees. This is common in Asia.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148111
 12.01.2018
“When you throw away a thing, you decide for all people that they don’t need it, although it doesn’t just need you.

Do you eat my hamburger?

I thought you’t offer.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148110
 12.01.2018
Ministry of Emergencies of Tatarstan ʙreleased recommendations on baptism swimming.

Πeʙem pynκtom is prohibited to swim before the sanctification of the water of the RPC. And only then prohibition to jump in the water with ice and octalnoe.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148109
 12.01.2018
...will be called "uncontractual"

They will not, because before the deaf consensus is used the "bess-" prefix.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148108
 12.01.2018
You should not scare children: "Now that uncle will take you!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148107
 12.01.2018
Working hours

We had a great time at school: the year all together toys and curtains were sewn, then a couple of years all together on a tower machine were made. And the dividing board made by me is still in use in the family (with love drunk and tricked))). And we also made chains of wire and cleaned the coins with a stitch. I liked this lesson much more.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №148106
 12.01.2018
Pads and tampons are needed several times a day daily for 4-7 days a month (i.e. 12-21% of the days of a woman’s life during the reproductive age. But you don’t need them once, so it’s easy to round up to "once a month". Noacho, you don’t need it – so no one needs it, take it. A striking percentage of men who already have a family and family, but never understood the simple truth: they are not alone in the world, and in the house too.

The logic of men
Men’s Arithmetic

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148105
 12.01.2018
Washing machines have two modes - delicate compression and raider capture.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №148104
 12.01.2018
ΠAru days ago I was withκanano by the management that the sale of insurance ʙ the priority ʙ our office, a covceem ne to what you vce xotite. Yes, I am in the mail.

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