Students, your mother Remove members and breasts from the textbooks and lower your eyes there! There is nothing difficult in the session. A country of idiots.

My wife sent me to the store. The list is very large, because Waiting for guests. I stand, buy (and buy, it turns out, a lot), and behind me there are two girls. They are whispering about something. While the saleswoman was running for another product for me, I listened to the girl’s conversation.
This is a crazy guy! He has already bought half a store. I have to go to another store.
I go home with five packages, the good is near. At home, I forgot to buy something. I went to the store, but decided to go to another this time. The seller dictates the list. I turn around and there are the same girls. They were very surprised, especially when they saw another bunch of goods I bought. And one says: "He is again! Go to another store!"
I barely got home from laughter.

The film Avatar has brought huge benefits to our society.
The number of dwarfs speaking avatar or decreased almost to a minimum)))

Comments on the movie "Welcome to Zombieland" on one of the torrents:
The zombie girl who bows in the main character’s room at the beginning of the film, one-on-one my ex during PMS! XD is

Nalfein ‎(16:45):
By the way
Do you want lol?
Although I ask.
I have achieved 100% synchronization with the computer
I woke up at 4:04 am today from the fact that I had an injection.
: O

Discussion of the article on house arrest on one of the portals

The Good-Gad
I liked taking or wasting. Stole a billion – sit in your mansion in Karaseozersk. If you are going on vacation to the Canaries - through a letter to the district, but you can still :)

Nych
Those who stole hundreds of millions.
A billion dollars, it is not done.
Stole ten billion - sit a term in the state Duma.

sent by aligator

Mom calls the home phone, the cell phone calls the classmates, the housekeeper calls, know who, the grandmother calls to turn on her lights and all this exactly at the moment when I went to fuck! = is

Yesterday in the car tried to buy food with friends.
XXX without a car. Built next to four, one makes the kind of car drives.
xxx: We didn’t sell food, they said they only served cars.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: But our "chauffeur" met a girl who was following us. Will we be healed?

XXX is
Do you have a lot of rubles on your phone?
YYYY
by 30,89
XXX is
Your cell phone is richer than me.
YYYY
I am too =(

I went shopping for gifts for the New Year, saw a toy in the form of a bear, but with horns and horns. I read the title: "The Bear in the Elephant Costume". O_O

YYY: a crazy movie, look at it
XXX: What is it called?
I’m a cyborg, but that’s okay.
What is the film’s name?

My friend is working in the MSF. Dialogue in the ASCII.

whisper
Here are my colleagues mourning :D We sit and drink tea, there is an alarm sirene. One such voice of the translator says: "I hesitated to save this crazy world!" :D

XXX: There are twelve rows! Two over two!! Read the Wikipedia!
YYY: Don’t get wikiped.

He says, take me :)
She: Where is she?
He is like his boyfriend. :)
She: And what should I do with you?
He: Well there to take care of me... to feed to drink... to walk out... to give tenderness and affection...
She: the taceke actions you have listed are more suitable for the pet
What am I worse than dogs? and 😉

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Get the cat immediately! White with gray ears, tail and heart on the back!

DAVI
The Chernobyl Miracle

XXX is fucking! Because of the snow, the woman on the cayenne cannot enter the yard!
Everyone had the same shit...

xxxh: here is the girl of one of my acquaintances thinks that while she meets him, he should not have a porva on the compact))) And, accordingly, removed everything))
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
zzz: in principle she is right if she can do everything as there 8-)
xxx: Yes, she does not know how to do "everything like there"!!! to
Fuck... I’m burning.

xxxx: piss - the concept of stretchable
A philosopher, however

to this:
Zoom: Guys, how much does a regular bathroom refresher have?
I have enough for a month or two.
Zoom: strange... one glued and I’ve been using it for a year now
How many times a year do you go to the toilet?
BackMeUpPlz: the wrong question
BackMeUpPlz: How many times a year do you wash?

Which side of the toilet did you hang on?

CooPer: To get children to drink milk, it is enough to mix it with a drink that children like, such as jaguar.