bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №92366
 12.01.2014
I do not know how in others, but in our (80k residents and 20 taxi companies) city there is a single blacklist and blacklist of each individual taxi - we periodically exchange data of such customers. so that orders can be easily accepted, but not sent in delivery. or can polently send on a walking erotic journey, or simply ignore the call. The owner of a taxi.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Only sometimes for this blacklist taxisers have to tear their feet off.
One day he called a taxi when he returned from the hospital with a knee dislocation.
Three hours of taxi "traveled, here’s the 5 minutes you call it".
After the fourth hour went and I walked down to the subway, in the ice and with my foot in the plaster, this company of non-traditional orientation put the phone on a blacklist.
Although when ordering I said that it was hard to stand for a long time, so I asked to tell you exactly will be able to come within the said time or not, and I called and took the order when I was tired of listening about five minutes. So it can be wrong, but sometimes send a taxi driver, along with the driver and the owner, in which the baby is very much wanted.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92365
 12.01.2014
of Habrabrabr:

Newarray
I think the author was lucky. Well, in the plan, they didn’t start throwing the foam in the mouth and even paid for it with money.
I was given three plugs in the form of goods, in the availability was:
1) Ticket for the concert “Legends of the 80s and 90s” (Shatunov and KO)
Certificate in online sex shop for 100 euros
3) And a set of bath wheels
P.S The concert was like that.

Elmaxo
What are they putting on a hundred?

Newarray
I will not reveal such details :)
I can say one thing - it was an electric thing, which was able to intercept and make it a remote control.
I've never seen my favorite neighbors run so fast :)

Shlom
Please tell me that there is a photo of Device on the remote control!

Elmaxo
Holy heavens, no one has ever intrigued me so much.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №92364
 12.01.2014
XXX: Shut up, mail.ru has again distinguished.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: I received a letter with the theme "Welcome to the New Year 2014". 7 January. And inside the letter - a card "Big Birthday!". It was in June, you remember.
XXX: I don’t seem to know anything.
Have you walked on the water yet?
XXX: No, I’m sitting down and trying to make the blame.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №92363
 12.01.2014
Vicheslav
I think I’m getting older...

Ally
Why did you think so?

Vicheslav
I’m 30 years old, I’m no longer fond of kids surprises, controlled helicopters and game consoles.

Ally
What!! Do you want a PS4 anymore?? to

Vicheslav
I want. But I doubt the game is too little.

Ally
Let’s buy you a seagull ?

Vicheslav
I don’t want Dandy and Battles, ninja turtles and black coat.

Ally
Yes, this is the desire of an adult wealthy man))

Vicheslav
)))))))))))))))))))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №92362
 12.01.2014
The dialogue between me and my young man is a disabled car enthusiast who upgrades his car every week.
Q: Have you noticed anything new in the "child"?
I : No
MCH: So how is it? Now the door can not be knocked, they are smoothly closed, and it has stopped to crawl. Why are you so careless?
I: Well you didn’t even notice that I have a new toner.
MCH: I have noticed. I just thought you were feeling bad...

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92361
 12.01.2014
A man should be happy. He owes nothing to anyone anymore.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №92360
 11.01.2014
>> "- And what, is it true that almost every car owner in Russia has a video recorder? Does he really record everything? Why is it"

It is burning for youth! The stupid

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №92359
 11.01.2014
All have arrived. I just caught myself in the thought that I do not want to fuck, but to teenage.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №92358
 11.01.2014
111: and to me after the past drinking still not sex hunting ))111: apparently the body has not yet come to normal )111: you need to be transplanted on seafood and bananas to recover faster ) 222: on bananas sit more carefully...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92357
 11.01.2014
Husband: - And in general, I don't snore at you, it's me who drives the baby away from you so that I don't stick.
I: So why does this little girl go to me twice a night? and ;)
So, as long as I’m snoring, it doesn’t stick!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №92356
 11.01.2014
So don’t you be here using other people’s words.
– – – – –
You have self-censorship.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №92355
 11.01.2014
"with respect, the owner of a taxi."
--------
Here is she, Spencer! has hit! Fight her boy!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №92354
 11.01.2014
I go to work in the morning in a crowded bus.I have a tasty uncle, behind him is his wife, who obviously needs to eat one barrel a day less.

Wife: If, Anna, let’s change, I’m uncomfortable here!
I : No! (Without turning back and realizing that she will stifle me to the harams if they change.)
The Wife: When!I did not understand!I will throw you out of the bus!
Husband: Hey, I did not say anything.
Wife: You don’t say or put in all your life!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92353
 11.01.2014
There is always a switch on every bomb.

Bruce Willis did not know.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №92352
 11.01.2014
xxx: Horror - "I know how you fucked the 1st course".
Waisteen horror... You can’t be so scared in the morning.
XX: I also say to them - none, guys, we haven't done it yet. And the simplex method touches me with angular points, as if it had not been added to the functional.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №92351
 11.01.2014
All tips from pickup sites can be translated into a single phrase: "you want to start a fire - throw wood into the fire"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №92350
 11.01.2014
The first day I went to visit my father. His house is on the edge of the forest. The Father sits like the first number "subsoft". We are sitting "Talk" Here his wife looks out the window.
- "O!Look, white" father not turning his head with a dull voice -"Do not touch her, she came to the room"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №92349
 11.01.2014
Cats vs Dogs

We had a black beetle and a black dog stayed at the entrance. The two hated each other terribly through the door, but they didn’t get into close contact—just until the day when the whale unnoticedly jumped out into the corridor and was accidentally left outside.

The case was winter. In the morning we found in the corner something enormous, black and shapeless, which, when closely examined, turned out to be a pyramid of a sleeping dog and a peacefully curled cat right on it. Since then, these two were not the water, the cat often went out to sleep in the hallway, sometimes invited the dog to us in the hallway, and when she disappeared - long craved on her carpet.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92348
 11.01.2014
How much time and truffle killed, and torin sailed 3 seconds

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №92347
 11.01.2014
<xxx> I accidentally learned that the pocket on the trousers was meant for a condom.
<xxx> And I wore all kinds of SIM cards and microSD in it so that I didn’t lose...

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