bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58501
 12.01.2012
XXX: Where can the document that is wildly needed lie?
YYY: NOWU... guided by sound logic – in the closet, the desk box, the safe?
What about my logic?
So... the refrigerator? The Sorter?
You can’t guess, you can never guess, you don’t have a scanner.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58500
 12.01.2012
Young representatives of the fair sex, how blind you are! Real bad guys don’t listen to Nohanno, don’t dance hard bass, don’t wear discs, don’t break ears from tunnels and don’t go to nightclubs... Real bad guys, under the thunder sound of AC/DC from the columns, suck whiskey from their throats without sparing that spilled on their beard, real bad guys don’t wear underwear and rape schoolgirls at the bus stop, real bad guys break patterns with their behavior rather than appearance, the deeds of real bad guys are really dirty and bad. And your ideal of a man is not worth anything.
J. Madman

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №58499
 12.01.2012
Snake: And what did you give?
Lara: a thousand me and a radio-controlled helicopter brother
I changed immediately :D

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58498
 12.01.2012
xxx is. People help CTRL can't write.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №58497
 12.01.2012

Blondinka Ksyu: Tan, why are all of your men called Michail?
Angelo4ek: The habit of childhood is to sleep with mice.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №58496
 12.01.2012
Russia and U.S. condemn Uran for enriching Iran

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №58495
 11.01.2012
A friend had a girlfriend, moved to him on a PC, and knotted him a laptop, buy and buy...In general, hit him.Well, a friend is asking her,why she has a laptop,what is said to be her stationary computer,that everything works there.To what she answered really brilliantly, "Zain, when I leave you, it will be very difficult for me to carry a stationary computer, but this laptop is pulmonary O_0"
He drove her out soon, but, milla, note did not get ^_^

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58494
 11.01.2012
We are strange people with you, we eat it and drink it with basil.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58493
 11.01.2012
WOW: What have you gone there? What was there?
That is PPC!
WOW : well!
I am standing over the breakout, I close my eyes, the wind blows, I admire
See also: Ellaak
XHH: and she's the same type from the back in the five meters there cuddles, makes us tea-cake
Oh well, I wanted to spit like that, just like that, and my eyes are closed!
I am already presenting
I spit like I get a supply in my ear! I open my eyes in shock, I see standing next to the swollen already
Tagged: ahaha
She kind of quietly crawled and stood in front of me and stretched to kiss, and here I am! and ppc!
Theme: AAAAAA LOL
HH: I did not know! She is quiet! and :(

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №58492
 11.01.2012
On one site is held a contest of the most beautiful girls, and the prize prof.photosets.Bathed posanov:

What kind of competition is for girls and not for boys? I might also want a professional photo session!! This is discrimination on the grounds of gender, wives:( the grandmothers again want to check their stuff, our beauty will remain
and unprinted.
YYY: Not for that the flower of my beauty blossomed to remain unnoticed!
xxx:this is what I, the wives, my mom told me for 20 years that I was the most beautiful, and what in the end??? A contest for 16-year-old girls, ala lolly patte. Enough to endure!
vvv:xxx, and my mom 19 years old told me that a man should be a little more sympathetic than a monkey:(
xxx:vvv, we will not leave you, friend:) but in the competition you are funny

[ + 32 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58491
 11.01.2012
When I was a kid, I cut out money to play it in monopoly. And now with my nephew I play in monopoly with Belarusian rubles. You guys from Belarus, you are there.

[ + 56 - ] [15 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58490
 11.01.2012
The respected!
I appeal to all those who consider women ‘dumb’, ‘chickens’ and ‘third world beings’! If you really think so, then come and tell your mom about it!


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №58489
 11.01.2012
Wife: Only I could cut the package of newspapers with an office knife and cut 25 out of 50 through.
The facepalm?
I: Did you jump on the knife with your legs?
Wife: No... I just pressed... I thought he was stupid...
I: Oh, but it turns out – he’s not stupid... (facepalm)

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58488
 11.01.2012
The news:
Scientists from the Swiss Institute of Technology in Zurich (ETHZ) have developed a thin polymer film containing noble mold. The material is arranged in such a way that the mold can not spread beyond the film, but at the same time is able to remove a number of organic pollutants on the surface, such as food remains on the table or spots from spilled juice.

The commentary:
The main thing is that in the absence of the owner such a barbecue does not empty the refrigerator and does not crash somewhere in the corner.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №58487
 11.01.2012
He - Hi, beautiful, let's get to know when I saw you - I fell in love at first sight without memory!
She – let me. I warn immediately that after a day of dating I do not go on a date, with one went beat, took all the money and the iPhone.
It is a mobile phone :'(

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №58486
 11.01.2012
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to
WOW: What are you talking about?
Stop the fox!
WOW :...
My mom was sitting at the computer, she didn’t write you anything?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №58485
 11.01.2012
Well, since people love it, I am gathering here - a bunch of phrases from Harry Potter fanfics (orthography preserved):
“Harry, you’re injured,” Hermione said.
Harry was surprised.
Blood from your hand sprinkled with a fountain.
“From the right or the left,” Harry said with horror.

There was a sound at night. They are attacking Hogwarts. Harry ran out of the bedroom and saw first-class students scared to urinate around the living room, not knowing where to run.

Harry saw his dean and immediately pretended to be dead.

Harry at the same time, disappointed in the temperamental red women, sat in his expensive penthouse and launched homemade ships in the jacuzzi. The ships sank and Harry suffered.

Hermione, what do you have on your shirt? The Blood! of whom? It is yours, Harry. Your face is broken! Do you not see?

Harry saw Sirius die, saw him lie back and walked into the smoky gate of Death. He wanted death, death, and even pain to Sirius’s cousin, who pushed Black into the gate.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58484
 11.01.2012
XX: What is needed to entice a man?
YYY: Something from him.
xxx for example?
Hair, nails and teeth.
XXX is the leg.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58483
 11.01.2012
[22:21:47] <Member> stop me pulling on the stuff

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58482
 11.01.2012
I understood the tragedy of the first time I went to work after the New Year holidays, when in the morning before the mirror I first closed one eye to check if it was exactly painted, and then the second to make sure that they were painted the same... and was very surprised that nothing was visible. I thought.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna