I stand in a row at the box office in a supermarket, in front of me a guy with a girlfriend. As the turn approached, they had time to break up! Finally, the girl grabs her products and demonstratively moves to the other row, the guy remains standing naked. And to not stand just like that, the first snickers hit is enough. Finally, the cashier pierces his lonely chocolate and asks on the machine: “A bag is needed?” There is no scene. Boy: "Shit, give three, or I’m afraid it will break!"

I go on the bus. Next to me is a company: two girls and two boys. There is a grandfather sitting nearby, speaking on a mobile phone.
One of the men begins to tell a joke:
The teacher painted an apple on the board. He asked the class: "What is it?". The man stood up and said..."
And then the entire bus spreads the phrase of the grandfather, addressed to the interlocutor: "What is there? What is it?"
The joke is unactualized.

xxx: Tomorrow at 7-22 I will be in Yoshkar Ole
Sitting in bed and thinking about salary.
The boss gave me a reward.
I’ll go to a beer bar with her.
Day 10 of Ed.
There’s a little bit of Avatar.
AAAAAAAAAAA...

Like: I always remember the date when we met her. I have to pay home again for a year.

Have you ever turned the light on the toilet?
YYYY: No
YYY: And you know, I’m sitting there for the third day at the candles and I think I’m a Shaolin monk coming there to think about the things that the Sensei teaches me))))

Title of news: "In space found similar oil organic"
<<< democracy is in danger!

Cash: Here you roast it, you roast it... and in the morning you look at it...
The potatoes are always like that.
Judge Dredd: And the worst of all, she thinks the same about you.

gol: I seriously start to think that the browser is so called "Firefox (does not respond)".

I found a number in your phone...
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
XXX: The name of the contact struck me.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OOO
xxx: There is written: "My ex". I just don’t know what to think...
YYY: This is my former number, fool.

Asked by?
Why I worked for 28 years, and the Russian one - exactly the same, even made at the same factory - has to be changed every year and a half.

We answer!
With the overthrow of Soviet power, we finally got abundance and prosperity! Unity and I can’t cope with it.)

Hello to Serena! ?
WOW: Hi
XHH: What are you doing?
I watch a movie about the formation of the universe.
Q: Who is filming there?
HGH: is it interesting?
Mostly the stars :)

I was given a nice catch by the administration. Everyone will jump on horses, and I will cut off on a goat. of beauty).
There was a player there who was constantly clinging to me. Tired of death. I will jump on a goat, and he will meet me. He asks with amazement: "Where did the goat come from?". I decided to joke: "We need to take 2,000 trolls off in the Trollist Desert. That’s why they give a goat!". And she jumped out, not thinking that he would believe in such a divorce. Because to catch so many trolls, it takes a few months only to hunt them.
Three months have passed and suddenly I get an angry letter from this player. It turns out that he has only been a troll pinal for three months. Finally, they pulled off, and the goat is not given. He said to the admin: "Get the goats away! I have tried it!"
Then, in this toy, he was so stuck that he caught a new persian. I am ashamed and funny :)

I read my favorite:
There are three types of guys nowadays:
A smart fool
2 Funny Fools
Three Beautiful Fools

He: Who am I of the three?
I: Oh, I don’t know
He: No, you tell me
I: You are sunny and smart, and fun, and beautiful.
He is a writer. It is only you who can do so.)

My husband often takes work home for the weekend. When he is passionate about solving a problem, he does not like to be distracted. At the same time, he is a passionate coffee lover, and without coffee he can’t work. He sits behind the compass, I see – the cup is empty. She went, cooked fresh coffee, and on chickens, on chickens, slowly crawled to her husband from behind... She carefully cleaned the empty cup, put a full cup in her place, and turned the pen so that her husband didn’t need to do excessive body movements. And so three times. Once again, bringing the empty cup to the kitchen, I hear the husband’s scream:"Ah, I’ve gotten it!" And then:" And I think – so what! I drink coffee, I drink, and it doesn't end, and it's hot all the time, for several hours! My brain almost exploded!" I tried the best, and again the fault :-)

The dumb aqualancer Vasily read on the lips of a white shark that he is fucking

Before the Diploma. I make a title.
Who is Ivan?
- GNID
This is understandable, and scientific degree?

Helg changes his nick to Ivan-Zarevich
<the frigid> the princess has appeared?))
<Ivan Tsarevich> It is not so. Yesterday I heard the story of a princess and a dragon.
Ivan-Zarevich: Because I climbed to Anka through the window on a drainage pipe, trying to avoid meeting her dad. He ran away by jumping out of the same window.
<cold> daddy was flaming with the fire?)))
<Ivan Tsarevich> The popes spit the mat. The role of the nails is played by the icebreakers.
And the meaning of the fairy tale about Koschey came to me three years ago, when I spent several months treating one wonder, and eventually was taken to Europe by a forty-year-old major.
<Ivan Tsarevich> And who I am lying to...
Ivan-Carevich changes his nick to Ivan-Durak

The reports of the German soldiers who visited Afghanistan were dry and rather boring: we came to a camp, lived in containers for fifteen people, we had little medicines, the ration worked poorly. The nature in Afghanistan is beautiful and the roads are bad. The Afghans are a friendly and hospitable people. It is a pity that they do not recognize women’s rights.
When I returned home, I divorced my wife, became an alcoholic and fell into a psychic.

Especially cultural:
Asked by? We answer!

Nick'o'lay Vavilov
That’s why when a person can’t solve the simplest square equation, or does not know what a diode bridge is needed for, everything is okay, not everyone has a technical mindset. And when a man doesn’t know who wrote “One Hundred Years of Solitude,” he’s a fool, an analphabet, with whom there’s nothing to talk about.

There is such a concept of "the general level of culture", and "One Hundred Years of Solitude" fits into it, but there is no diode bridge.)

"A hundred years of humanity" ends up in "wanted-read, nothing lost". A "General level of culture" is not to go past the urn

Now in the dining room was a dialogue client [K] with the employee of the dining [SS]:
Q: in the menu "vegetable soup", is it borscht?
SS: No, it is a bowl.
Q: Is carrots salad just carrots?
SS: Not very much.