bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103884
 10.10.2014
I have a former friend who saw a man in me, as you call him. I also pointed to him for sex, and Edak - he is not in any: neither to embrace nor to kiss. Just go home and that’s all. Of course, I found another, with the first communication somehow disappeared. Two years later, I found out that it was me who turned out to be the Frenchman at the time. Don’t be stupid, you will be happy.
It is....
Remember, guys very poorly understand hints, especially from girls they are interested in.
Could it be more clearly indicated or even more openly acknowledged?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103883
 10.10.2014
I’ll tell you, the little (cat) performed on the weekend.
On Friday evening, I took a chicken liver out of the freezer and threw it into the shell to unfreeze, so that it could be cooked in the morning.
In the morning, the little girl came to wake me, walking after me, murmuring. I say to her, “Manuya, let my mother sleep again.” She went away.
A couple of hours later I get up and something lies on the floor near the head of my bed. I cannot understand what it is. Then look at. This is cake. In the cock. Thus e. The manna carefully took the puppy with the liver in her teeth, brought me and started waking me typically "Mommy, it's time to have breakfast!"
Yong from the morning I tell, he says: It is good that I did not break the fist and it is good that I did not put it on the next pillow, or the bed would have to be changed. I: If when I woke up I found someone’s organs on the next pillow, the bed would have had to be changed for several reasons.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103882
 10.10.2014
here here :
“The Americans are going to talk about small-sized sanctions against us, and we’re all in trouble. And what shall we do?
Implementing sanctions, which
Which ones?! to
We will abolish anti-piracy law!

Yes, this law and without retaliatory sanctions few people fuck.
Admin offices for 200 comp, where licensed only toys on the director's iPhone

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103881
 10.10.2014
What do women need?
I came to a new job, met with an employee from the neighboring department.
By the first impression - physical disgust: low, loose, warts on the hands, badly dressed, dirty hair, brittle hair.
After a month of communicating exclusively on work issues, I suddenly realized that if he had offered, I would not have refused.
Because the main sexual organ of a man is the brain, and he owned it virtuosely)))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103880
 10.10.2014
I was at a school meeting with my middle son.
The psychologist that the number of anxious children (in this wording!) In our class it is only 2%. There are 23 children in the class. We calculated on the calculator, which part of the child we have anxious... Long decided – which child this part... The psychologist could not understand why a group of parents so stupidly hiccats during her serious speech...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103879
 10.10.2014
I’m not overweight, I don’t drink alcohol.
Better to drink...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103878
 10.10.2014
I don’t know, I’ve been lucky with my neighbors.
HH: They are not.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103877
 10.10.2014
<...> Being a photographer by type of activity, my consciousness drew me an aggregate performing stereographic 3D images...
= is
When you come to the station, did you not take your hat off?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №103876
 10.10.2014
I looked at the mother-in-law for 7 years and suddenly realized that her ex-husband (who I had never seen in my eyes) was probably not as much a goat and cattle as she tells me.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103875
 10.10.2014
xxx: because there are a bunch of funny ways to put a small bag into the brain by waking yourself up in a fig.
YYY: awakening...the imprint of Freud
Zzzz: to persuade to have sex.
YYY: He woke her all night, but didn’t wake her up.
XX: Because I did it somehow not excitingly.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103874
 09.10.2014
Thus, let’s say, autumn or early spring, somewhere in the earth, the germ of any plant freezes. A man was passing by and joking. And for the germination, this is a real wealth - a warm solution of all the necessary elements. And suddenly, people also - fell on somebody unexpected wealth, and it was just sucked on him from above.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103873
 09.10.2014
With the employee:
I: Can I put this documentary in your bag?
She: No No No
I: Well, let me put it across so that I don’t get lost.
She is: No No No!! to
I have not taught you in time!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103872
 09.10.2014
To the topic about child psychologists/psychiaters with questions. Do not take it in your head. They have a set of questions to clarify the general development, and no one has yet been denied admission to the kindergarten, overwhelmed by the question, as the Madagascar man says.

My aunt worked in these commissions in Soviet times.
Mystery for children. Naturally, the mystery of winter and summer in one color is nowadays a question of pure erudition for the urban child. The answer is " practically everything". But the child does not know what the tree is meant and thinks. What is green at any time? I am glad, the soldier!
Development is normal. And erudition in ancient mysteries can also be worked in the garden.

Do you know Styles? and yes! About the mouse! declared to:
The mouse walks in the woods, gathers cloves, sings songs.
Suddenly, the cushion fell straight to the mouse in the forehead, the mouse was angry and on the ass of the mouse!

The doctor and the mother from surprise simultaneously repeat the mouse movement. Mom, to justify yourself, who taught you such a poem? and Dad! You are what, when? When I went to the store with my aunt...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103871
 09.10.2014
Borsch: With the words:"Stop talking!" I set the alarm clock 5 minutes earlier.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103870
 09.10.2014
When it was two days until the end of the dispute, she began to fall asleep, throwing one leg on me and sticking with her lips in my neck.

Men, I couldn’t sleep for exactly a month, but I won that fight for us all.
________
Mde, patient... more comfortable than a deer she will hardly wear. The Cossack Doll! and c)
It is...
Little girl, are you sure that the girls don’t want to? We want to, even if we are virgins. I think after a month she famously stumbled her boyfriend (Happiness them)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103869
 09.10.2014
Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov from Tanirbergen Berdongarov stole corals

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103868
 09.10.2014
Your chances for a friendzone will increase incredibly. So is!
----------
In the friendzone get those to whom the girl does not feel a physical attraction, there at least in a slice. The girl knows about whether she would go to bed with a particular guy or not in the first minutes of dating. Just normal human attitude and reveals the difference between the "going would" and "going."Even an initially interested girl is quite easy to distract with foolish behavior.
— — —
You say the case. Here, indeed, you need to clarify whether a personal acquaintance, in the sense that it is not online. appearance, voice, smell, so-called energy... it is like it is a beautiful person, and a cared for - not a wanderer. Sometimes it looks like a man like a man, but it’s good with him. Maybe something will happen here. Maybe, and it won’t happen, of course. And still important. There are women who know how to have sex for sex. Once in a while, it looks just like this one. But few of them. Most of us want to have at least one relationship. Not necessarily high love, but at least something. It’s by nature or by society – in this case, it doesn’t matter, because it’s so now.

And the fear of frendzon is the infantilism of pure water. With a pistol at the whisky, no one holds in Frendzon. Either you are pleased to be in it, or you stop this communication, or you confess in your feelings and desires, after which either yes or no. and all. There is no problem.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103867
 09.10.2014
My husband is so unadapted to life that with him and in heaven is a shalash.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103866
 09.10.2014
Choosing a tent:
X: The Canadian has a fireproof impregnation
Y: for rest on the water
X and so :)
X: Our country is unpredictable
Y: "... and the foxes took fireworks to the sea blue went the sea blue lighted..." (c) :D
X and O! This is a classic at all.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №103865
 09.10.2014
We teach the child the alphabet of Marshak.
The working day begins at 9.00, at 10.00 with the heads of sectors meeting with the chief. At 11 a.m. the evil boss comes in and begins to scream at us. Proralsi - came out, everyone is silent under the impression, I break out:"Oslik was angry today, he learned that he was an ass"
Everything is rushing))

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