Ctr1A1tDe1ete: You did not see me
According to the descriptive
Ctr1A1tDe1ete: maybe I am Pushkin... I describe it beautifully, and I am a monkey.

I heard a grandmother talk on the benches. They boasted of their grandchildren. "My Target, said one, ended up attorney". “And my Sashenka,” said the other, “finished on the computer.”
I cried for half an hour when I heard it.
(the excerpt)

Anya: My mom, when she goes away for a long time, leaves me notes of this type:"Anya flowers","Anya dishes","Anya-pol"...
Anya: But this is still nonsense.The most cruel, it is "Anya-cat pot"
I am not a cat pot >_<'

The performance of the video card does not depend on the size of the elephant breastplate on the box.

Alcoholism is not a physical disease, but a moral one. Russia is the most moral country in the world.

Andrei Smolin, the remarkable author of the site "Jokes from Russia", in connection with the award of the extraordinary title "three-time grandfather", is dedicated:))

When my older sister was giving birth to Vanka, I just came from the army and was still a green-shaped puppy.

And Vankin’s dad, Valera, is such... a valerian, shorter. All his life on the construction worked, and besides this construction, and winter fishing, such a feeling people have never seen. He is now a valentine, and then was a valentine valentine. with calories. When my sister gave birth, he first called me to go with him to the nursery. Because he alone is afraid. And when they were already there under the windows, I walked there, jumped, shouted, “Egei!“And he stood by the side, like he happened to be here. When the sister looked, he already understood, showed himself very heroic. I shrugged my hand twice.

He is ten years older than me. There are such people. Three times we have been there. Without me, he was afraid to drive, and I was just working in the morning, I wasn’t in pain. And in the evening he calls me, and frightenedly says, "Galia must be taken tomorrow." He apparently expected that this would not happen and Vanu will be called directly from the nursery to the army. And he said to me, “You come, short! I don’t know what is there! What things to take there... She told me something on the phone, I forgot everything!“...”

In short, I feel like Valera is in an impasse. There is only one way out of the impasse: through the throat. A little more, I feel, and Valera will solve all the problems easily and simply. It swells down and that’s all. I’m saying, not sash, at what time to take it? At the 12. I will arrive at 10. Early in the morning, I went to the transfer station. So, if it were, you could change the changes, but then you will have to drink, and that for a long time. So I decided to have the stock in a couple of days. And there are weekends.

Well, after the transfer station came to Valera. Right there on the way.
Valer is so squeezing a little, but I see - inside ni-ni, holds. Whiskey is clearly full of house. was stunned. These pants can be purchased later. There is no vodka, but there is a supply. Okay well. I called a taxi at 12:30.
(Taxis then ordered) began to look at what is not. What they didn’t run for. Kit for the child, bouquet mom, dishes in the kitchen to wash, underwear, staff bouquet, cognac, socks, suckle, from under the couch, candy, champagne, new film in the camera, condoms...
Why are condoms?? to
and oh! It is not from here!
This is approximately. Here is a characteristic episode of Valerian's scattering.
Oh yeah the joke! by Lenta! Do you have a tape?? to
Oh oh! There is! There is tape! Only I don’t know which.
It gets a whole package of these tapes, what colors there just aren’t!
I am with the reserve. Fig knows, there is some kind of color.
must be.
Tell me, how do you get the brain of a saleswoman in the store so that she can not understand what color the tape is needed if it wraps Vanya? That’s what it is, fucking, Father Valer.

Okay, as if it was all. We come to the birthplace. Valery shakes a little.
Gave things. We wait. A nurse appears.
Who is Father?
He also looks at me. Because I have a bucket in my hand. And Valery’s hands are busy, he holds himself in them. It is just a little behind. Well, no answer, the nurse on Valera. And here’s Valera, I look, making eyes more glasses
(and he’s still eye-catching, ahah), he touches me with his hand and says, “He!” the nurse says to me, “What, daddy, has your tongue swallowed out of joy? Good yet sober... Luckily, Mom will come out, give a bouquet, take the baby. Do not fall? Look at it!”
I speak with fear. “I will not hurt. This is our second.”
And indeed, I Lenku-to, the first niece, thought from conception carried, because her daddy (who I never saw in my eyes) merged, barely learning about pregnancy.

Well, here is Galia coming out, mouth to ear. Galia, she is not an optimist, but a very joyful copy of our genealogy. Always silent, and a smile to the ears. Well, I handed her a bouquet through Valera, knocked in the cheek, and
Vanessa took her out. I looked – okay, Vanka like Vanka. We said “Thank you all” and went. Valera just so grabbed Galli and holds. Found, shit, the point of support.

Well, and then we’re in a taxi, Galka laughs, happy like that. I say, “Why are you laughing?” she hugs me and says, “How good that you came! I didn’t sleep all night, I thought.
Will I give Valerie? He himself will fall and Vanka will fall down!” and Dad Valera sits like an eagle on the front seat, and tells the driver that it is his son at all, and that tomorrow if the driver comes to ten, they will ride behind the wheelchair without a counter and without any grievances at all. He lived, mostly, so immediately, the chest of the wheel, where the thing happened!

Well, this is somehow. Vanya was born on August 8, and weighs 5100. That I remember well. I can’t tell the centimeters. Now he is pumping oil somewhere in Nadima, and he has two of his own. Just like his valentine father. “Uncle Cole, I’m going home to my mom on Wednesday, through Moscow, will you meet me? Let us talk. I missed you so much! I don't know how c
Pavelecki on Yaroslavl to get.”

Healthy patients were taken to the hospital.

IT Department in the morning.

I am close to you!! Alexander Stepanovich, release me or the cleaner!! to

The cry of a girl during an orgasm is one of the most beautiful sounds of nature.
The cry of a girl is not comparable to the cry of a dolphin. None ever
XXX is Opa! Are you fucking dolphins? I can't understand that decibels don't change, but fucking....not in decibels happiness) And in understanding that you are really a man for your girlfriend, but it seems in your case still dolphins))
XXX: Fuck the Goose
XX: The sounds will be nightmarish

Do you also think that Coca-Cola in 0.5 cups is more delicious than in 2 litre bottles?

and Nevsky. We ride a trolley bus and stand at the back door.
I: look how well, another trolleybus is following us, I will go out at the stop, I will sit in it, I will get to Vasilyevsky direction.
What if he overtakes us?
This is a trolleybus!
She: And what? Do trolley buses overtake each other?! to

The Club Forum:
Hello dear forum members! Broke the bumper and the lights. The driver’s and front passenger pillows worked their way, and the front seat belts were locked. What to do now?
Are you still sitting there?

Anyone who loves animals, please help me.

There is a ugly man who thinks of himself as a veterinarian and who torments animals very hard!

I need as many people as possible.
Please connect all your friends.

I need your help very much. and very insignificant. just call him and tell him what you think of people who steal a cat into a shoe with their head and without anesthesia castrate, who without anesthesia, if the dog laughs, burns her voice bands and advises people that their animals don’t throw on others while walking burn their eyes so that they don’t see almost anything.

Please help me!! to

8-985-two five seven seven two zero nine. His name is Sashurine

P.S. for your favorite cats! Please miss this quote.

When Timothy sings, all the singers are silent, because birds cannot sing and whistle at the same time.

to this

In Thailand, at the show of transvestites, five minutes before the start, someone from the party shouted at the door through the whole hall: "Cola, come here, soon to begin!"" At which the drunken roar of a huge man came out of the door, who also replied to the whole hall: "I'm looking at the pyodoras in Moscow, and here Hennesie shakes in the lobby!";


The great Russian man, you are my God!! to

The C Forum:

" the girls The instrument is sterilized. To me, my manicure has been going for a long time and exactly sterilized the tool. I will write more accurately, and so far I can only say that most dangerous viruses die at temperatures up to 80 degrees Celsius!!! And it’s up to 90..."

What kind of nick do you have on Skype?
yyy: nu_hot_etot_nik_svoboden

A friend went to Chicago for a year. His history of life:
He decided to rest from Russia and went to the United States to work. I go from work on the bus. Late evening, in the bus person 8-10. the mood is good, had time in the bar to miss a couple of bottles of beer, the soul is singing. I decided to have fun and laugh at the Americans. He took it and shouted to the whole room: “Americans are pudders!” Here the one sitting next to him in pure Russian says: "pohorno pydory". Then from the middle of the salon: "Moscow, what do you lie, do not sleep". Then another replied, “Because they’re the pids that you’ve come here.”
Rest, fucking, from the homeland

girl: and I used to think that if you go through Medvedkovo station, you can leave Bitcevsky Park.
Did you think Moscow has the shape of a ball? O_O

Announcement at the entrance:
Dear tenants, in connection with the start of the heating season, ask all who do not have batteries to install them. Congratulations to you"