Looking at the map of growing Moscow traffic jams, the idea of riding the Olympic fire on the subway no longer seems absurd.

Pugacheva and Galkin became parents:
"Two children were born - a girl and a boy. I don’t know the details, but I was a surrogate mother. The twins were born on September 18. The girl was named Lisa and the boy was named Harry, said the director of the singer Elena Chuprakova.

Reply to parents: Harry Galkin!

to this
"Kitty: And I came up with a gift to ask for))
And how? and how? ? And to whom? Not with me, I hope.
Kitty : No! I sent my dad a link from the left box "A Chinese exchanged his kidney for an iPad" yesterday. Today - A woman committed suicide because of the iPad, well, because she wasn't bought.
I am loose. ?
Kitty: And so for a few more days!
Kitty: And then I’ll say, “Dad, I want an iPad.”
It is wise, wise and wise.

You will receive a gift.
The father.

I don’t remember where it was, but one of the economists wrote that it’s very important in business to give yourself the opportunity to go backwards. Therefore, he always made a reservation before discussing the deal, "I am ready, but with the permission of my business partner." For all these years, no one knew that his business partner was his cat. If he did not like something, he called home to his cat, then announced that his partner did not agree, and left, keeping his face :)

The news:
The United Rocket and Space Corporation will be headed by the CEO of "AutoVAZ".

The Russian space crants, sadly, comrades :(

Dr. Morf: RIA Novosti: General Director of “AutoVAZ” will now build missiles.
Dr. Morf: I wanted to joke that they’re going to fall all the time now. And then I remembered that they were already falling all the time.

It won’t be funny, but here it is:

YYY: Can we go for a walk?
XXX: I can’t
YYY: So what is it?
xxx fuck the house.
I have not been doing this since the second semester.
xxx: checked out
YYY: You don’t have an institute and the fuck knows what! The house is checked, the controls are arranged
You always say that walking is strictly prohibited.
XXX is strictly prohibited
Yyy: You are fucking studying at school.
Fuck, I knew it.
Wait, soon I’ll have to change my clothes xD

That fucking funny. Why are we surprised that the missiles are falling? What do we produce foods? Medicine at zero.

That’s because, fucking, these "specialists" work everywhere!

I: Okay, then the last question, or we will call you back.
Oh yeah yeah yeah ok.
I: What can you tell the smart \ interesting about DOM elements?
The elements change, the essence remains.

Pause, I try to understand the meaning of the answer

I: Please list those elements, at least a few.
XHHH: Kuznetsov, Karyakina, Pinzari...
I am 0_O
Oh sorry, this is from House 2, and you wanted from the first, right?
I'll call you again, I'll call you again... x_x

c) We have

to this:
I was young and ahead of time. I was a good technician, better than my parents and even better than my grandparents. I taught seniors how to use phones, machines, devices, electronics. I taught them the orientation of the terrain, let them listen to contemporary music, they ticked their ears and said it was loud, fast and incomprehensible. I read them modern books and they ran away, preferring TV with Kobzon, Pugacheva and Lechchenko.
I then went into the woods, left alone and dreamed of getting old, so that I could be taught something by young people.
30 years passed. I became old. But, shit... I’m still teaching the same thing, but I’m young. Because they can’t teach me.
I teach young people to use phones, machines, devices, electronics. I teach them the orientation of the terrain, let them listen to contemporary music, they clog their ears and say that it is loud, fast and incomprehensible. I read them modern books and they run away, preferring a TV with Home-2.
What is wrong in this world? What kind of guy put him in a break?
___________
With such data, it was not to run into the forest, but to the pedinstut.

I will give you a name!

The Ukrainians are surprised:

Why is he us?

And God answered them:

Because he will take away everyone in this world.
From the Negroes, and up to the Mosquitoes.

A to go! Give me two!! to

It is impossible to work when two girls at the other end of the room ask each other loudly (and unclearly):
"Sasha, what are you doing?"

Air refresher for the toilet with the smell of chocolate. What an irony...

to this:

"14:19:37 Boris
A joke of humor: I sat on a Chinese auction on Sunday, watched what the Chinese are selling (and they are selling a lot of clay and cheap - which is pleasant) I generally went to the department of intimate goods. This is the name of Durex. at us they cost 900p for 9pcs (or for 12pcs I do not remember how much in the package) that is, about 100pcs per piece. And they have large packages of 200r. There is 39. 5 p for a piece. I got rid of that valuable.

shorter now to me by air mail, a small ordered package from China itself is a package of condoms =D"

The man! I must warn you: the size of the dignity of the average Chinese is smaller than that of the Europeans. My Russian acquaintances living in China have always bought the nicknames king size or what they are called there, because ordinary... small. So it may be that you are getting a useless package, unfortunately...

The New Moscow Car Curse
"Let your route change the asphalt 3 times a year!"

Stumbled...
A piece from the book of the famous cardiochirurg Amosov, where he tells colleagues about a tourist trip to Paris (1976).

A lot of time has passed since they wrote about the quiet streets of Montmartre, about the alleys of the Boulogne Forest... Now the heat, the wind and the cars. The flow of cars, the smell of gasoline. Cars have poisoned and depraved the city. There are no quiet streets. On both sides, all the sides are forced by cars. The interference! Drive by car is more difficult and longer than by subway.
We do not need to expand the production of cars. Our cities are beautiful compared to Europe. When you come to Moscow from the airport, you are immediately enveloped by space, air, silence...

Without comments...

I go electric. The usual thing, nothing predicted trouble. In front of it sits a woman, 50, chewing a crucifix. After finishing the meal, she took her jaw and licked. With me, without stress. My life will not be the same.

We talk with a colleague about a healthy lifestyle, that you need to quit smoking and not binge.
From tomorrow I start a new life.
This is why we need to get the old one today.

Windows 9 will unite Windows and Windows Phone platforms

by Ximera123
Windows Phone will take up 20 gigabytes. PC users will remove mouse support.

I found a new way to define an unknown song.
xxx: you just need to upload a video with her on YouTube
xxx: and their system will immediately determine whose copyrights you violated :(
xxx: with the indication of the performer, name and place of sound
You can sing several songs at a time.
You can see it, it’s infected :(

The program!
and I!
Get out of order!
It is!
Then the whole department of IT cried.