bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87954
 06.10.2013
With the abolition of the serfdom rights people have depreciated!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №87953
 06.10.2013
This happened in Toronto ten years ago.
Within a short time, several friends received tickets (warnings) for excess speed on the highway. Moreover, although the excesses were insignificant, about 10-15 km per hour, drivers were punished strictly - in addition to monetary fines, they received punitive points, which automatically entail a significant increase in insurance.
The penalty was double offensive, because the usual flow of cars on the highway with a speed limit of 100 km per hour runs 120-130 km per hour, at least in the left extreme row.
The offended drivers decided to take revenge for such undeserved harsh punishment. In order to do this, they, invoking the help of friends, did the following.
On one of the summer holidays, when the people full-fledged drive cars out of the city to rest, our heroes, each in their car, went to the most "densely populated" highway and, being in a row so as to fence the entire highway, began to drive on it with the maximum permitted speed of 100 km per hour. Neither more nor less.
As a result, behind our avengers, a giant traffic jams of evil Canadians were formed, rushing faster to come to the bosom of nature, which was even shown from a helicopter on the news.
All this was not left out of the attention of the local police, which made an unfair, but the only correct decision - to detain friends, and to allow traffic jams, in the absence of interference, to dissolve themselves, even at prohibited speeds.
The detainees were fined for interfering with the movement of other vehicles. But this time friends, I feel my full right, went to court, which, of course, won entirely - you can not be punished for the implementation of the rules of movement!
The results of the fight for justice were such. Police gave unofficial advice not to stop cars driving on highway at 120 km/h in the general stream, but ordered more attention to drivers with aggressive driving or driving from 130 and above.
Justice has won.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №87952
 06.10.2013
No need to print on cigarette packs steep inscriptions, it is enough to write: "The proceeds from the sale of funds will be transferred to the foundation of the party "United Russia".

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87951
 06.10.2013
It is unfair. The whole country was crushed, and only Povetkin was crushed.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №87950
 06.10.2013
to this:

From the listener.
In Chinese, books are called “108 ways to make something.” It turns out that they have no multiple numbers, so you have to write accurately.

So that’s why they’re 1.3 billion... no idea what’s so much. They seem to know the exact number, but understand that it is already overcrowded - they can not.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №87949
 06.10.2013
XX: Do you prefer to lose weight with acne or with smooth skin but thick?

XY: can I lose weight, with smooth skin?))) generally depends on the degree of both, but acne is more repulsive than excess weight, as such

The first is me in the summer. The second in winter.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87948
 06.10.2013
Discussion of October-93
I think for the fullness of the picture it is worth asking Ren TV to make a movie with their version of the events.
 
Do you also suspect the underground Lemurians from the constellation of Sirius?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87947
 06.10.2013
from Khabr, post about the mail, the first comment on a very “trustworthy” copy of the horse (we can clearly distinguish the member), followed by comments on the same topic:

What if children suddenly see a horse alive, even to imagine is scary.

Mizulina, move on to it!


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87946
 06.10.2013
DUSTER18999: go *** with your Jesus we Orthodox understood?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87945
 06.10.2013
From the online chat game:

Are you really a puppy?
Patty: Well and what?
Romanoff: God, are you gathering on your shabashes, shaking your paths?
Emily, I can say that, but what?
We don’t like people like you in the city.
In the city, people like you are being shot.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87944
 06.10.2013
to this:
The delivery of the project to the customer goes through the same six stages - denial, anger, understanding, depression, acceptance.

And the sixth?

The client asks that too!

Six is humility. and :-)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87943
 06.10.2013
In Moscow, ritual killing of animals was prohibited.
MMM, what are you arguing about?
Not a comilon.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87942
 06.10.2013
Announcement by Slando
A hat is sold.
For a real guy, hello from the 90s... this chapon will raise your authority in the area, increase self-confidence, teach the right twins and helmets, speed up the time of clicking on the seams, and in general the thing fire.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87941
 05.10.2013
Plants in natural selection accumulated juices, causing burning in the mouth, tears from the eyes, sharp smells, all, only animals realize that they cannot be eaten, the side will come out, and then the man appeared, called it spices and spices and actively eats contrary to millennia of work of nature.

Yes, but people are actively cultivating these spices. They are not threatened with extinction. The goal of natural selection has been achieved! )

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87940
 05.10.2013
Do you have a vacuum cleaner or a magneto?? to
The multivarka.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87939
 05.10.2013
I wake up in the deep night from the harassment of my faithful. It looked like a clear attack on an absolutely helpless person! In the morning, I asked him, what was the act of violence? What I get the answer...
I woke up and wanted to ask something.
O_O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87938
 05.10.2013
For those who want to enjoy the movie, I recommend:
- Start with a sober head because the bond is quite serious.
- Furthermore, to be with the director you need to be equal at least a cognac, and drink, for example, every time you see a white horse.
This movie will be perfect for you.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87937
 05.10.2013
The idea to install an advertising board on the highway with the slogan Megaphone "Speed Heals" came to the mind of a clearly very gifted character.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87936
 05.10.2013
A cat has a bunch of toys; there is even a potty plastic egg with a bowl inside...But a non-plastic bowl from a coffee bowl or a plastic bottle is more sweet...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87935
 05.10.2013
Sometimes our families break up.
Can we give benefits to mothers?
Hm... isn’t that?
Or a mortgage loan without interest, so that they can live?
not badly. But not that either.
- and let's increase maternity capital and benefits for newborns?? to
I think there should be a simpler solution...
A thousand dollars for a divorce.
From the nose!
Fuck to fuck!

30,000 is worth divorcing from the New Year)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna