xxx: I, of course, understand that scientists have proven that communication with oneself allows you to bring in order thoughts, restore in memory consistency and generally constructively perceive the surrounding and yourself. But shit, not in the chat.

DeadLord [52]: the stitch calls a man from work and asks the question that is indicated in a third-class child in the textbook: "What electricity is used in your home?"
DeadLord: I have two higher education, I have been working as an energy engineer for 5 years, about electricity and related things I know overdose. But that question put me in an impasse...
Doom 2: DeadLord: Do you know what kind of electricity is used in your home?
DeadLord[52]: No...
doom2 [199]: the deer The State
DeadLord [52] is a shit.

by habr:

But, after writing a few dozen mobile apps for top smartphones, I came to the conclusion that you need to focus on users whose IQ is not very different from room temperature.

You have been single for six months, how do you get single?
YYY: 4 months
YYY: and 2 days :)
Q: Do you make cushions on the stick?
Or on the table?
YYY: No, the stick feels it itself :)

XXX: It’s a feeling when your mother is sent to a meeting and you know you have two in all matters. And you sit so in front of the computer, you think in order to finally play?

If we don’t learn to control our own lives, we train on other people.

“You cry because you’re fat, right?”
My sister is also reading your stories. Today I called, asking me for the lack of time to scrap a couple of lines about her shame.

Three years ago, my then six-year-old nephews-twin sisters gave a similar, but more elaborate, verdict to an annoying neighbor, when she once again began to complain to my sister-wedding, "with grief for a cup of champagne in one face," about the terrible female fate and the male crabs encountered on her life path.
Running out of the kitchen, allegedly not hearing the conversations of adults, two "Apostles" - Elijah and Peter, slightly delayed in the door. Children's hearts are not a stone, but a pebble on the sandy shore, and therefore they can't withstand the murmur of an elderly lady.

“Aunt Len, are you so ugly and disgusting because no one is fucking you? Ilya breathes, calming her on her leg.
- Yes, no... - pushing him to the side, Peter thinks (evidently in advance afraid of moral blasphemy for a bad word). – It’s she’s just scary, she’s painted and dressed like a crap (“he’s whispering to his brother on the ear”).
... the silence. My mom has a towel out of her hand.
“Well... you don’t worry about aunt Len, and they get married... sometimes,” adds Petya.
- Yes, and mom and dad are exactly what they say, - hits the last nail in the relationship of neighbors Ilya.

Children continue to play with a sense of duty. The neighbor silently stands up and leaves (for ever from this apartment).
And the mother goes to the sons, kisses them and says, “Thank you, sons. Although it did not work well, but how great!

Fuck No. 1
Never leave the door to the kitchen open, even if you put your children to sleep.
Fuck No. 2
And it is best to talk such conversations when there are no children in the apartment, not at all, in the sense that they are either walking, or at grandmother, or in kindergarten, etc.

In short, when you are alone. These rules the sister is now eating holy.

The Nobel Committee is in a very sensitive position: it is asked to award the peace prize to Putin for saving Syria from the attack of another Nobel Peace Prize laureate.

XXX: The Opa
XXX: Babies summer promises
YYY: In the next year? and ;)
in July :D

Finally came the time of my favorite afternoon,when you don't want to listen to the next hernia from friends on the phone for a long time: "all,then we talk,or the hand is already frozen!"

The Post of Russia. I work there. List the goods. In the news of the magazine: Gel from mice. Reason: They bite the mice.

The girlfriend is seriously ill, lies at home, dies.
When will you go to the doctor?
Then...
The doctor "then" is called a pathologist!

on this-
I chose a gift for the child. Machines for boys: all colors, models, controlled by joystick or buttons forward-back-left-right. They maneuver very well. Car for girls: one, pink. There are two buttons on the controller - forward and rear. But with flowers. We are not TP, we are so specifically grown!
That is, those that all the colors and all the models for girls are not suitable for them are so written for boys? If you are looking for a pink in a flower for a child, then you are growing! My girlfriend was perfectly suited to the racing model of red and black color, and even the question did not arise - for boys or for girls!

Bite a penis is about as easy as eating a crude sausage.
Thank you Doctor Lector!

With me in the company served a few barbarians... One day the officer asked to take over the questionnaires of the timetables. My husband and I looked at them. And in the questionnaire, the respondents were of the type "who is mom and dad, do you want to serve ", there was a question: "are you vulnerable". Guess what Cabaret answered? "Yes, in the foot"))) roasted like a horse

Will you help me with the cursor?

WOW : No

Oh yeah, let’s get you a super melting hole on the frost – 50!

Wow, this is serious.

Dialogue with Husband in Ashkenazi
Go home and buy bread.
Which one? White or Black?
And the one and the other.
Can I do without bread? :D

to this;
xxx: Always wildly delighted advertising of weight loss pills in recipes magazines

And also delighted advertising of funds for potency after the advertising of beer...
As they say in the Czech Republic:"A beer lover is like a watermelon - the stomach grows and the tip dries out"

It is bad!
What is?
I want...
What is?
I do not know myself.
She described the life of an average woman in two words.

The poor, unhappy, sick and abandoned child is looking for sympathy.and (
Yyy: torture the cat, what
YYY: and generally the poor unfortunate abandoned child, when everyone left, must run around the apartment with the cry of "swabooda"!