Mom says I’m bad and I’m being used because I’ve repaired my computer by a friend for thanks.
I can’t tell her what she gives!

Conversation of two friends:
I can now lie on the floor.
With the heating?
I have washed it.)

Conversation in the office kitchen
Marina, like your cat? by Pokrmlen?
Marina: Yes, two times First I woke up and then I ate.
Yyy: I also want to live with two girls. First one wakes up to feed, then the other.
XXX and pay them both.
YYY: Marina, this is how much your cat pays you?
He is sleeping with me!
Marina, I can do that too!

I finally understood why everyone hates apple growers! Normal people won’t write this way: “I processed a picture here on the pentium” or “Oh, how funny my hungry man corrected the word.”

From the Vegetarian Forum:

We are at 129th place in life expectancy among the population. The average Russian person lives 66 years (59 men and 72 women), which is significantly less than in countries such as Mexico, India and Iran, where the consumption of meat is significantly lower. The average moscovite consumes 66 kg of meat per year.

1 commentary :
Ask how much vodka the average moskvich drinks and then you will understand why the men in Russia live so little (((

A comment from Google Play to the mobile agent...
Ladies and gentlemen developers! Well, it is impossible to communicate with the girl, put in the emoji "Joppa" and "heart", make my life easier!

I work as a salesman in a tourism store.
A man of the age comes and buys 2 healthy lamps (40-50 cm long) and a large campsite lamp, after half an hour grows up and buys 2 litre bottle of ignitant and ANOTHER LIGHT.
My curiosity does not stand and I ask myself: where are these stocks?
Do you know what will happen on December 21st?
I: I do not know.
M: The end of the world will come!
I’m quietly slipping under the table

A rare teacher does not raise in the students a persistent disgust for his subject.

A 83-year-old grandmother was driving to a doctor’s appointment, on a bus, in a big city. She clearly told the driver where she should go, and he drove her to the stop later, 8th Street. She stood up, realizing that she was late. A car stops at the nearby parking lot, a young man comes out, the grandmother goes to him, "Drive to the clinic!" (with a distance of approximately 1 km). He looked at her and took her. And you say...

Today I feel forty years old: cooked meat, fed children, laid to sleep, wrapped wood, applied water... Now I sit and think - to give this?

and wrote: Yes, I do not argue. I have been working for eight years.
Mocus [Koodoo] wrote: What is it? and :)
and wrote: In Gazprom Suki are Accidentally Surviving Qualified Engineers

You know, when I get rich, I’ll find all the girls I didn’t fuck and fuck them!
Yyy: the main thing is to ask them to pull out their jaw before sex ;-)

X: I walk without a clock and I don’t go.
Y: What are you proud of? Sho in winter - you take off your gloves, open your bag, look there for a long time in the mobile phone, turn off the lock, look at the time, put the mobile phone back in the mess, close the bag, put on the gloves and ask yourself the question, the jump was written there?and "

Cadabra, discussion of the magnet that saves fuel
Thaw
I took three, and you won't believe, the car started to produce gasoline, and not simple, and 102 sports, if you drive at 7 thousand turns at least 5 kilometers, the tank begins to spill, know only collect in a barrel. The dynamic has improved three times!!! And the expenditure fell, now I drive on a Porsche 9ff quota for three bodies, and it is on the front drive!!! I advise everyone, you won't guess, a great thing, before this oil had to change every 7 thousand km, now I drive forty and no problems!!! The icons on the panel began to melt, the liver stopped sick, and the cousin stopped drinking, the potency improved, peace and peace came into the family, the son is studying for five, I advise everyone!!!!!!! to

He1ix
Buy a hairdresser and a hairdresser. The veil on the seats will start to grow and the spikes will begin to lengthen on the winter rubber, you will have to fight this. Infa is 146%!

News: The police-drug trafficker seized a sword, a sword and a castet.
The comments:
What is the sword for?! to
He is no longer Sir.
zzz: a sword, a sword, a cast... is he an orc?
Aaa: He managed to get rid of his armor and helmet.
bbb: "Thousands of thousands"

Montag1976: Translation of a famous joke: The wife said that to the mistress. The mistress said to his wife. And for the computer and in the tanks!!))

What is "Teacher" It is not the one who teaches anything, but the one who encourages the student to reveal the best that is in him, in order to reveal what he already knows.
by Paulo Coelho

Happy Teacher's Day fellow teachers! Patience to you, curious students, adequate parents and constant increase in salary! and :)

Announcement on the German car house:
I am in broken English:
Hev yuv sold zis kar yie? from zere enni problems ebaut eye
The answer:
Be calm, I speak Russian.

I went to the restaurant and looked at my hands.
My mom said to me:
On a first date manicure.
The second epilepsy.
I confused everything.

Scientists have concluded that castrated men can live 20 years longer than those with reproductive organs in place. This is due to their lack of male sex hormones, in particular testosterone. This is why women live longer.

Who is for immortality?