Pharmacist: We usually sell condoms on Fridays and test on Mondays!

Kaplunoff: By the way, you don't know where to go with a girl in the evening that would be cheap to sit down for something to drink and what would be the romance there and all that?)
Alexander: Come home to her!

xxx: standing on the street near work, looking at the trees and thinking "eh, autumn... beautiful".
You’re standing in the office next to the window, looking at the same trees and thinking, “Bla, four more hours.”

I need help from the forum! Yesterday, the girl was supposed to come to me... the last time I called at 18:00, I promised to be in an hour. He opened the champagne, covered the table, lit the candles. I wait, the time goes: 19... 20... 21 hours... the phone is unavailable, it is impossible to call her! I ate champagne in one haru. I’m sitting, I’m dumb: How cruel this world is!" I’ve written her a bunch of text messages that she’s so crazy... and I’m like D'Artagnan!
Shortly after 8 in the morning, reports of the delivery of these text messages began to come.
At 9 o’clock in the morning I get a text message from her, literally: “You’re a stupid pidaras! I spent the whole night in the elevator at your entrance. You didn’t even feel like I was in trouble!"
Oh, yes: the elevator tried to make me clean her shit on the newspaper from the elevator
Fuck what to do? Satisfying or Satisfying?

Epiphany

XXX: Mishana has returned from the trip. I have been in Colombia for the last two weeks. He says, now for him a completely different meaning has the saying "we sit on the trail";

XXX was today. I connect the girl, attach the cable. An alcoholic woman comes out of the neighboring apartment. He asks you do? I connect the internet. In what apartment? In the 149. and Aaaah. The girl lives there. A good girl. It just fucking fucking. I just shrugged there.

xxx:I explain how to use the internet, and I think "in the ass fuck, in the ass fuck, in the ass fuck..."

I work at SC.Hard working day, patience at the outcome. calls client(s):
Q: Hi to you! What is "Nokia"?
I am: Yes. I listen to you!
Q: What is your work schedule, on what days?
I: - from Pn to Pt and so on...
I put on the phone and in 5 minutes:
Q: Hi to you! This is Nokia"s "Say, do you repair the phones that fell into the water?
I: Yes, but it is already paid and not a guarantee repair.
In 10 minutes:
Q: Hi to you! Is the Nokia Model 6700 plastic or iron?
I am metal, but there are plastic parts. Can you call once and ask everyone, instead of calling back every 10 minutes and not distracting us from work?
In five minutes:
Q: Hi to you! What is "Nokia"? Tell me, please, you say that the Nokia 6700 model is iron, so why is it not attracted by a magnet?
I: - 0_0 Meaning of why?! to
K (with a mourning voice): - Well he lies in the river, I attached a magnetic to the rope and I try to get him, and he doesn't want to be attracted.
After 10 minutes of ringing the phone, the customer did not call again =)

Sometimes the alarm clock rings in the morning, you look at it and think:
I slept with these couples.! to

Here in Facebook came up with a new slogan for the Xbox - "Play in the box". is magnificent.

Do they all go to Foursquare? In ten years, graduates will write letters of thanks. Thus will they write: "the worshipable caspadine menizder abrozavaneya!...";;

My husband cut the sausage and asked me:
Man: Is it enough for us?
I’m not going to be a sausage, you’ll definitely have enough.
Husband: Okay... and cuts off a few more things...

Niki: And in fact I started to notice that she doesn’t eat at all... on the village diet?
Yes, you know her appetite. She just noticed that she ate a lot...and you know what she did? I found a large bowl, measured that there is a full plate of soup and now pretends to be sitting on one tea...and everyone praises her, said the good guy, took the mind...
Nicky is a pipe.

If it were not a reminder in contact, only your mom and grandmother would congratulate you on your birthday.

<Vrooom> I was walking somewhere in the park. A little boy approaches me and asks, “Do you believe in unicorns?” I answered "No" Here he took and put on my head a corner of his ice cream, hysterically grumbled and ran away, shouting, “Now you believe it!”and "

When a girl has a guy who is a footballer, she goes to his matches.
When a girl has a guy guitarist, she goes to his concerts.
What if a girlfriend is a programmer?
M: That girl, usually, goes away from him on the h*j.)

I bite my nails.
Your hands don’t know where they grow from, and you sweat them in your mouth.

Oh you, cat butt caught on the flight! The fucking...

Discussion of 3D TVs

Is it more enjoyable to watch porn on television?
yyy: I doubt how pleasant it is when a man from the TV almost ticks you in the face with the yen.
Do not look with your mouth open :)

The conversation between mother (M) and sister (C). Small 8 years.
Q: Mom, what are condoms?
This is... a medicine!
C: From what?
M from infection.
C: From which one?
My mom calls something.
A: I thought I’t get pregnant.

Student life is not easy. My food, my food.