She understood that he was lying, justifying that he had been drinking with a friend Vasei all night, but didn’t say anything because Vasei was sitting in the closet.

I went to the refuelling.

The treasurer, with a learned voice, began to roar the duty phrases:

Do you want tea or coffee?

I have a standard joke about this, after which the sellers immediately lag behind:

I agree with Cognac. At least seven years.

But here the cashier immediately focused:

Unfortunately, we only have liquid for the glass washer from alcoholic beverages.

I continued to joke:

I usually eat cognac with lemon. What do you have under this drink?

I can offer an air refresher with the smell of lemon.

The gasoline payment ended and I had to leave. But the mood for the whole day rose from such jokes.

If schools, instead of teaching and consolidating knowledge, only conduct testing and control work, then the next generation of doctors will constantly send patients to take tests instead of treatment.

This story I heard while on a business trip, it happened in the late 1980s.

At one of the nuclear power plants, a minor accident occurred, it was urgently necessary to eliminate it and it was decided to call a slugsman, who knew the features of the work of the failed equipment best in the shop. Since the case occurred in the evening and the hero of this story was at home (there was no home phone in the apartment), a car was urgently sent to the city, the task of which was to find and bring this employee immediately.

At the time when UAZIK was entering the courtyard, the slug was found going to the bakery store with an avocado in his hands. After a short conversation, the slug got out, jumped into the car and walked to meet the adventure. There were about 18 at that time. Then began the titanic work to save mankind and it continued almost until 3 o’clock at night. At the end of the work, leaving the zone of controlled access when passing the dosimetric control, it turned out that the special clothing of our hero is a bit phonized. After he removed his special clothes, it turned out that his cowards also emitted ionizing radiation, after which all the clothes of the slickers were taken away, and he himself was disabled and sent naked to the dressing room.

It was almost five o’clock and our hero returned home. The wife, of course, was not pleased that he came without bread, but even more annoyed she was the absence of cowards on her husband. After a short verbal interruption, the husband was expelled from the house where he left them.

Sitting on the first morning bus, he went to work, and there asked the head of the shift for written proof of the reasons for the disappearance of the cowards and "not buying" bread. The paper was handed over and the companion went with her to the side of the house. But the wife again did not believe any papers and drove her husband out of the house for the second time. After this, the hero of this story came to cry to the chief of the shop, and the boss, entering the situation, said that he would save the family happiness of the hero of the atomizer and along with him went to him home. After two hours of negotiations, the wife agreed to let her husband go into the house, who loses his cowards unclear where, but at the same time said to the boss:

I know you guys, what you will not do to blame each other!

Elections in the United States. Who will win: Russian or Chinese hackers?

The laws are adopted by those who constantly violate them.

A child in a movie theater. Before the start of the session there is a advertisement - trailers. The entry is age limit 0.
Here begins the cartoon itself, the inscription - age limit 6. Next to him, the boy squeezes his hands:
– Oh! 6, now the trail begins!

Children were playing in the yard. Everyone in their smartphone.

I come back from work tonight. Stopped the hiccups. He checks the documents, at the end asks, “Will you blow?” I say “I can blow.” He looked at me carefully and said, “I see, you don’t need,” he let go. On the way, what did they offer?

I meet a fellow, I look, he crumbles.

I ask what the problem is.

He tells.

He is engaged in parachutism. In the summer, we were flying on a square near the city. In short, he had a parachute and it fell from a small height. But it fell quite successfully, not in a circle, but relatively softly. There are no fractures, but it is badly broken. They called an ambulance, and while she was driving - comrades carefully removed all the projectile from him, pulled into the car, and he himself was left under surveillance lying in the middle of the field. An ambulance arrives, the rest of the parachutists lead the brigade to the crash site. They approach and see a man lying in the middle of the field.

Dialogue with the doctor.

Man, what has happened?

and fell.

How did he fall? have stumbled?

No from above.

There are no trees, no rocks, no pillars nearby.

The doctor swallowed.

Where from above?? to

The Comrade says:

From there...

And as it hurts to move your hands, it points up with your eyes.

It was necessary to see the reaction of the staff of the ambulance brigade, who tracked the direction of his gaze and unexpectedly leaned their eyes into the clouds.

The comrade said it was very painful, but he was roaring.

The morning. 8 to 15.

My wife went to work and took her son to the kindergarten. I sat in front of the notebook with a plate of cabbage, a cup of tea and a few baked beets. On the screen loads Shogun-2 Total War, I sit in anticipation of a pleasant breakfast.

The sudden phone call in the neighboring room does not allow me to communicate even the first tablespoon. One word of matta still broke out, but I go after the telephone and accept a call from an unknown number.

A stubborn, once familiar voice quickly replies: Muromskiy (Family), you?! Did I find the right phone?! to

I was a little confused: I, yes, right.

Where are you now? Are you already on the field?! to

Oh no, did I go to the field?

Here hangs a pause for a few seconds - apparently the defendant was getting more air.

What do you mean? 😛 Where are you, Naomi?

At home, I have not served for a year. (I actually ended my contract in January)

The second pause.

– One mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth, one mouth.





Here, I think now, call him back or well, you’ll go on duty in the weekend.( by

But it seems that somebody I have deceived by my absence.

I go on the bus. The driver came out on the light. He smoked, smoked and sat in the phone.

We went back, the green burned, and we went.

Red for 3 minutes on the central street - it's always so fun!

I am interested in my ancestors. My father died early, my grandmother too. Therefore, there was a large gap in information on the father’s line. From his father’s side remained his brother and two sisters. I delayed the trip for a long time, and five years ago I decided to go, I took my son - three or five hours and we were in place. My uncle did not recognize me immediately. Then he pleased and called my cousins. We sit and drink tea, we talk about it, how, what and where.

- Uncle Van, wanted to know more about our ancestors, who, from where?

Can you tell me something?

Uncle tells me, I note in the notebook what I did not know.

What is the second grandfather’s name? and ah. How about the grandmothers? I recorded. What about the grandmother’s last name?

She did not have a name.

How is it?

Her grandfather stole her from the camp.

From what camp?

She was a Gypsies, a Gypsies. and beautiful. My grandfather was a cowboy, and he stole. The name changed to ours.

After that, Dad, are we Gypsies?

In Russia invented a new computer font for doctors.

Glory to SE

The travellers.

When you go to Georgia, take a backup liver. With the usual set of organs, the beauty of this country is difficult to grasp. The landscapes there are incredible, and hospitality reaches fury. Guests are given more rights not to attend work than a leg fracture or cholera. In the depths, a guest is considered a common prey, it is celebrated by the whole village, each time as the last.

Our acquaintance Robert with a group of water tourists returned from Georgia. Usually, the Aquarians sing the song of "crossroads", remember the broken veils and how ridiculously Edik crushed his head. After Georgia, everyone was silent and looked away in love. Some could not remember if there was water there.
Swimming on our rivers is a separate horizontal pleasure. The direction of the current is guessed by guessing maps. The flooding without waves takes years. In Latvia there are swamps and one conditionally breaking shore. All three of these dangers are known to tourists. They wanted real wild mountains and rivers. The tour firm gave a bonus to a wild driver on a wild truck. The driver considered it a humiliation. Over the breaks he sang songs and danced for illustration. After five minutes of travel, there are no dangerous adventures in the world. To say goodbye, the driver gave five liters of the best wine in the northern hemisphere. Such a cautious assessment was based on the fact that the driver was not in Australia and does not know how to get there.

There are three kilometers to the river, and it feels like a hundred. Immediately met the chaban in the papaya and with the oak. The shepherd did not ask why the boats were in the mountains. He was also not interested in political news, currency exchange rates and football results. He just asked what these people were drinking. He was shown the best wine of the Northern Hemisphere. The old man nodded his head. It was bitter and shameful for him for the whole district of Hevsureti, where guests are sung by a scapegoat. If there were ammunition, he would catch up and shoot that truck. Chaban gave the tourists his wine, five liters. No one can fool your dear guests. Down from the mountains to the ground, late at night, in their Mukhosransk, carried by snow on the door pen, curving at night on a bench, as the poet Brodsky would say, they will find something to remember. Chaban was drained with money, and only a lack of ammunition prevented the gun from responding to such an insult.

For ten days, tourists fell on a Georgian river with varying degrees of responsibility. It was not scary. I tried not to shake anything. Overnight in supposedly deserted places, they gathered a good wine stream. It turns out, absolutely every Georgian knows where to get the best wine in the world. He usually makes it by his grandfather’s recipe. Between the grandfather’s wine and the nearest quality vinegar from the neighbor’s Givi, there is a cosmic difference. The term “losing innocence” in Georgia is not associated with naked babies, only with the tasting of alcohol. For refusing to drink, even a very good person can be shot.

Ten days later, the waters were on the road. A beautiful country revolved around. The first police car arrived. The officer immediately realized that they were alcoholics. Boats carry for sight, but only to eat. He nodded his head and asked not to lie down. He left, but immediately returned with his wine, five liters. Less dishes are not produced in Georgia. This, he said, is a real jewel. Very similar to the legendary French Romance Conti DRC of 1934, but markedly better. And if there is a better wine in the world, let the policeman not come down. He immediately came out, which proved everything. He said to rest not in a hurry, the police will warn, do not pay attention. He stood up nearby with a flashlight on. Tourists are upset. They began to tell a new friend, what a wonderful people here, soulful people, no one to protect. Dick, kiss, in a month you won't leave, the policeman objected. A year ago, the Estonian group was released by the entire department, with a footwork and a weekly feast of reconciliation afterwards.
From this knowledgeable story, I derived the following. The battle of the bobra with the donkey in the Georgian religious tradition will not end in an apocalypse, but in a feast with songs. When everyone loves you, there is nowhere to go, you have to love in response.

The second. Regardless of the taste, always praise everyone. You swear that you have never drank the best wine and will never be able to drink it again. Same with cheese. It is beautiful, no matter what the shoes smell. I myself carefully follow this rule, thanks to which I became a good interlocutor and expert in cooking.

Zhirinovsky warned Putin of the inadmissibility of copyright infringement on the use in public speech of the word "podonok".

I started breaking up with optimism. Stocks are exhausted, and reality breaks down supplies.

To the story from 02.10.2018 by avel https://www.anekdot.ru/id/973430/ about a dog laughing in the front basket of a bicycle and the horror-disappointed passers (or, on the contrary, about the horror-disappointed dog and the horror-disappointed passers? It is :). It reminded.
Beginning of the 90s. I’m just over 10 years old and I have a dream of any child – I got a dog! The Sheep! On the condition that I have to do it completely: feed, walk and educate. After reading the smart books, I knew exactly that with a big dog you have to go to training, otherwise the dogs will train everyone by themselves. The training area was far away, but In the trolley buses at the time it was not to push and one, and here also with a dog... And to pay was to two ends for two, which with competent savings poured out in quite good pocket money for gum. Walking around the city was boring. Something had to be invented, and so on. It was winter, then in the course went small plastic skis, long cm 40 for me, a couple of my mom's old strap bands for the dog, after which, clinging to the strap with a leash, I went out, gave the dog a command "forward" and on all sails (or rather, on skies) went to the place of training. The main commands the dog already knew, and there was no problem with the management. In the winter, the streets were not cleaned and cleaned, and there was snow on them. All went well for us.
And now imagine the picture from the passers: you go a little quietly, here behind you is heard an unstoppable loud cries and at an enormous speed passed by a lying teenage shepherd with a teenage man in the back on a rope. Our streets are narrow and, turning around and seeing THIS, every second jumped into the hole.
The record for jumping from place to place was eventually accidentally beat by the head of the training club, coming out of the same club to the classroom and jumping from surprise immediately back to the door. After that, I was gently explained that my grandfather was already in a very respectable age for such pirates, and the young lady (that is, I) should (literally) "manage the "crew" more gallantly and it was not appropriate for her to wear, as in an oppa buried, to death frightening passers." At that age, the young lady for some reason imagined herself as the hero of the cartoon of the same name "Black Coat" and wore in general, of course, did not stop (to give up such a dog-ski trip? Here is more! In addition, no one in the city moved like this, and the boys' peers just came out of jealousy with saliva, well, at least I thought so then), but the speed, seeing people, slowed down. But that's not all, my brain at that moment somehow strangely perceived the care of people, and, looking at the note I read, I found a whistle and, seeing a pedestrian on the horizon, began to whistle all over the device (it's in addition to the roaring dog), for which I got the nickname "ment" at the training.
My parents were little before me, live-healthy-business busy and fine, they were 90s adult. The chairman of the club periodically grabbed the heart, then the baldness, seeing us roaming circles around the district, after which, as a former military, recalled that if the mess cannot be stopped, it should be organized and headed and periodically began to invite me to ride so by other groups, as a specifically distracting action, of which I was terribly proud of myself)))
How many gray hair I added, now it is even scary to imagine. There were no casualties or destruction, but it is not certain) And you are here: “...bikes... bells......”

Deputies of the Duma are preparing a bill on criminal liability for refusing sex to people of pre-retirement age.

For many years, he taught chess in the district center. He was absorbed by this process, and he himself plays great, took prize places in various competitions.

But he was fired. There is no pedagogical education, the type has no right.

Now it is OK. We found a new teacher, with an education, a musical profile, a historical profile, but he does not know how to play chess. But for all of this, the formal observance of the rules above all.