bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №21793
 26.10.2009
Somehow, I remember, in my youth, a very drunk returned with someone's snack and accidentally stunned. What to do... I went on foot, so that in the hot transport not to burn (in the winter was the matter). On the way, a man approached me and asked me to smoke. And while he was smoking, I thought that he did not know that a man who was outraged was standing before him, and he would never know. And I also thought how many mysteries in this world, and we do not know about it.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №21792
 26.10.2009
Faber: In the quipe "invisible to everybody", but everybody sees that I’m on the net. He decided to search for a solution to the problem in the search engine, entered: "I am invisible, but everyone sees me". Lots of references to psychiatrists.

[ + 78 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21791
 26.10.2009
It was a long time.
I lived then in another house and we regularly needed someone in our entrance. In the same place. This was facilitated by the dim lighting of the entrance.
A chemist lived on the second floor and worked at the NII.
One winter evening, coming back from work, I encountered him in the entrance. He was at home, and in his hands he had an empty bowl. He smiled and went up to his apartment.
After I got home, my wife sent me to the store for bread. I go down the stairs and see the force in the same place. And I hear such a characteristic sound of a flashing lightning. I decided to slow down and whisper this fool so to say in the process. But it wasn’t needed.
A second after the appearance of the characteristic sound of the stream from underneath the boy's feet sparkled sparks and a thick smoke fell. The man in panic ran out right into the frost.
In general, the problem of unpleasant smell at the entrance after a week was solved completely. And people for that week on the frost in the night went out a lot...
Now I live in another city, the chemist also moved somewhere. So it is not possible to contact him.
Does anyone know what the chemist had in the pot that night?

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №21790
 26.10.2009
I sit with my grandmother in the room and watch TV. My grandmother is sitting next to me and reading a book. here is the mega-phone advertising - " pleasant to get a discount for the fact that you talk a lot..." grandmother: for the fact that you talk a lot you usually get to the mouth

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21789
 26.10.2009
16:54:54) baby_bOOm: Avatar you painted yourself?
(16:54:59) The Cross: Yes
(16:55:07) baby_bOOm: similar to
16:55:20) baby_bOOm: and paint me
(16:55:25) Cross: I can’t
(16:55:36) Cross: My hands are too rough to paint you))
(16:55:51) Cross: I don’t want to offend such a lovely creation :)
16:56:39) baby_bOOm: Do you know how I look happy?
(16:56:48) The cross: how?
(16:59:56) baby_bOOm: I have not broken eyebrows for a month, under my eyes bags, as if I had not slept as much as my eyebrows had not broken, cosmetics zero! The hair is rubbed like a wire on the walls of the prison, one eye is nervously shaken, and on the forehead it is written like a wire: "Help me!"
(17:01:23) The Cross: to hide, my favourite estate!! Stop annoying me so much! :)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №21788
 26.10.2009
XXX: Where are you studying?
Ural State Educational Pedagogical University
Q: What about a linguist?

[ + 72 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21787
 25.10.2009
Per it is better not to arrange holivars but simply add on ALL bilateral roads concrete funnels with a height of 1 meter, a length of 98 meters and a mandatory gap of 2 meters (between sections or in the middle, if the total distance to the hole / transition is more than 100 m.) is?
• Low export;
You cannot go to a meeting;
You cannot move in the wrong place.
Less blind with lightning
must be done;
Cheap and angry, enough for 60 years (if no accidents).
The transitions are raised 10 centimeters above the road (sport cars will be fought in packs), which will make them more dry and easier to use.

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №21786
 25.10.2009
x-hard: Idiotism - for several pirate programs (installed on a home PC) give six years in prison (Article 146, Section 3), and for the murder of two or more persons, committed in a state of affection (Article 107, Section 2) - five.
It is linuxway. ))
X-HARD: In my case, it is easier to put down those inspectors who come to me, and then to press the court on the fact that the seizure of my property caused me a temporary discouragement of mind.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №21785
 25.10.2009
Medvedev urged not to turn the discussion of last elections into a funeral of democracy. That is, he is so cruel that he will leave unentered what has died.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №21784
 25.10.2009
I sit at a friend's telecast.
Tag: I am injured
And then he said: Turn off this shit, the more it repeats.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №21783
 25.10.2009
Is the Halloween costume ready? Who will you be?
Vampires, ghosts and other impurities.
Professor Van Helsing?
by Scooby-Doo

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21782
 25.10.2009
What about the black man who was accused of killing the girl?
Was sentenced to a year in prison.
HHH: What is it? A year for such a crime?
Noah... Noah...
The court found that it was not he who killed him.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №21781
 25.10.2009
Yesterday my cat died.
YYY: What, did he take it and die?
No fuck with special effects.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №21780
 25.10.2009
From the news:
The competition for children to throw dead rabbits, which was held annually in a town in New Zealand, was cancelled in 2009 due to complaints of animal rights defenders The Daily Telegraph.

At the same time, the organizer of the contest, Joe Moriarty, called the cancellation of the contest "a madness of political correctness" and assured that local children love animals.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №21779
 25.10.2009
Happy Driver Day guys! Thank you to all who slow down, missing us, pedestrians, even where we shouldn’t be. Happy the road!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №21778
 25.10.2009
Would you also prefer to build a fountain in your honor instead of discounts? D.A

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №21777
 25.10.2009
Mo3r1984: Only in Russia you can watch a movie before the premiere
Barcus: And to play a game that didn’t come out on a wheel that didn’t come out.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21776
 25.10.2009
from the local forum.
Frankey: "The photographer is not the technique, but the person"
"The masterpiece can also be removed on Chinese soap"
Have you ever paid attention to the fact that only those who say this do not take pictures on a mobile phone, but on 20 megapixel mirrors with optics for 50 pieces? =) is

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №21775
 25.10.2009
I dream that my grandmother is calling me.
Docent: and says, you know, Artem’s server fell.
Docent: you give me a rute pass, I will do fsck and apache with the muscle up.
Docent: Well, I think, God give you health, grandmother, or I get to the nearest Internet to squeeze and squeeze.
Docent: And here I want to tell her the password, and I understand that the password is obscene, and the language does not turn such a grandmother to speak.
Docent: Here I was in a cold sweat and woke up.
Grandma said she laughed. and :)

[ + 185 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21774
 25.10.2009
The distribution of torrents is not closed by copyright holders, but by the organization "Russian Shield", in which a bunch of superstitious fools sit, obstructing our main right - free file exchange on the network.

Let's sit like that - and nothing but Linux can be downloaded on T-ru at all.

So what am I...? It’s time to break down their self-esteem and their servers.

Those who don’t joke!

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