When I just started driving - I was very afraid to park, we also had the courtyard full of cars in different directions, one uncomfortable movement and trouble will not be avoided. And here I decided to ask for help from the passing man - he sat behind the wheel, and as sat, and stood up. Because the car I had an old seven (and no, not a BMW)), with a mechanical box and without any steering hydro-amplification - he just couldn't move it from the spot. I asked the second - he stumbled, the car stood right across the road and neither there nor back. Another company of young guys came, interested in the situation - all in turn tried - only worse. Fortunately, the neighbor who noticed my suffering approached and parked her in 10 seconds. I said "don’t worry, I’ve been driving for five years, you’ll learn!" I then asked no one anymore, but although I parked slowly and for a few "measures", I still knew that I do it better than a random sample of the men of my yard, who can’t :-)))

Mixnsk: we have a booklet to do
Mixnsk: and think about how to have fun for the 10th anniversary of the department
Mixnsk: caroche capec
Cake with a stripper
Mixnsk: reasonably
Mixnsk: but we have four men and the other women
Krasus: That’s all thought out.
Tagged: cake
You are a stripper.
Mixnsk: so reasonably

Chat (discusses a new employee in the team at X)
X: Our poor hipster Ivan sits sadly without a note. did not give.
Bring him a smoothie.
Y: No, let it work in the mole
V: offer him while there is no laptop, scrapbooking to do

MTS has connected to all subscribers a free service "Take part in the draw ticket for the opening of the first cafe "Eat like at home!"". It was by SMS messages.

During the first half-hour, 289,731 subscribers were turned off from this service.

aaa: A very needed Android developer, ideally a freelancer for regular tasks and almost full-time work.
BBB: Will the man not fit?

I invented a plan-lagman.
1) We are holding a referendum "you would like Russia to be ruled by Stalin".
2) Everyone who votes "for" is sent to the camps.
With the help of camp prisoners we build roads, factories and cosmodroms.
Russia is getting up from its knees.
5 The Profit!

Found in Space:

A granddaughter of pre-retirement age and a small set put out the top box of the table and found a mouse in it. After that, two dozen young sports ballerinas tried to repeat her feat: from the position of "sitting at the table on a chair with a back" to jump back, closing the box with a foot in a jump, and the chair should remain in its place.
Two chairs and three boxes were broken. could not repeat.

Olegsergeevitch: Cat food has become 20% more delicious. How did they find out? How did they it?
Mihail2706: It is just simple. We fill the food, pull the cat out of the bowl. We measure the effort with a dynamometer.

Such colleagues
I sent one to the store to buy tea-sugar coffee.
I asked to buy a lemon.
So she brought in a bag of lemon acid.
With the words "and what is the difference"?

The next time another colleague, on her request to buy milk, brought her dried cream.

I am the only master of this metastar system, and all who refuse to acknowledge my greatness, I will destroy with my neutrino bombs.
Is it a neutrino bomb? Bravo, it’s the most useless thing I’ve ever heard of.

Dialogue with a friend:

Fuck, I try to remember something good.

Are you calling Patronus?

HHH: How did it all go?
Wow: the norm, as if, did not endure any Achinees in the masses
Wow: Today on my couple came 27 of about 70
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I’t go on the first couple on Saturday. :)
Wu: goes under this same stream the following lecture to lead - and this is: "Yes, anshlag!"
Wow: I was ashamed, I rub him ashamed, said, Saturday, 8 am, all that.
Wow: I realize that behind his back two-thirds of students are silently down.
WOW: I am - mega-prepod >_<

xxx: The start of the concert was a little late, the enthusiasts shouted "KI-PE-LOV!", and I couldn't scream, I roasted, because in my head with the same intonation sounded "DED MO-ROZ, VY-HO-DI!"

There are so many questions and dilemmas in our life. Career or family, stable income or freedom, love or calculation... And what will you choose?
The Picasso! I choose you!

We have a micro district "Meat Combinate". There is meat.
Tagged: surprisingly
HHH: So is it. A man lived there. Working on the same meat.
XHHH: put him in the military committee shorter. They ask
HH: Where do you live? In the meat combination.
HH: Where are you working? In the meat combination.
Q: The name? ... the cabbage
I was sent to a psychiatrist for a re-examination.)

The fuck is cold.
I was walking in the autumn jacket today, I was thinking about the meaning of life, about death, and about what I dive.

One damaging aunt from work was delayed today due to a morning visit to the clinic and testing.

At lunch she said.
Now I’ll give you a hand-made snack.
and get out of the package a mayonnaise bowl with some brown mass (potatoes in some shit as it turned out later)
A quiet voice from the table.
Didn’t they get it in the clinic?

Collaboration from chairs

I don’t understand, why did you take me so badly? What has the eyes broken? Has she any trouble? Do you like something? So tell me in the face, as courageous as this!
Now feed the cat! You see, he is hungry, what a miserable look he has!
“Yes, dear, I see, I will feed now.

The Terminator had a red screen of death.

The RPC has already built its own Orthodoxy!!! Blackjack and the prostitutes!! to