Wife: You don’t love me
I: Is it a question or an assertion?
Wife: It is a ride!

The idyllic humor.

> while(1) free(rand());
The most, fucking, masterfully realized garbage collector I’ve ever seen!!! to

Lord Orange: I would say so. Would girls know how kind, tender, all-forgiving, responsive, attentive, caring, generous, generous and loving men can be towards themselves.

On one Pindo website news that Novosibirsk scientists are preparing to test a vaccine against AIDS. The first comment:
70% vodka, 30% modified virus, 46% bear blood.

>>> 60 years ago

60 years ago. Momoi Momoi Glaglas.

Those who want to talk about members, vagina, marriage and children. Feet in hand and march from here!

You are growing all the mold in the banks.
XXX: I went on.
xxx: I have a folder where I store all the scripts I’ve written, but I don’t understand the principle of operation.
And one day, Skynet will grow up.

You are a python! Smoking the little ones!
And you what?
and also. You are Python!

From the Psychology.ru forum:

Two weeks ago, I went with my son's class on a two-day tour. In particular, they were in the monastery. A monastery of men.
And while the kids listened to the guide, I sat down on the bench (the legs were just off). And then a certain nun goes by (what she did in a male monastery is a question), stops next to me and begins to brainstorm me about the fact that women are not allowed to walk in pants, and even more so on the territory of a male monastery. It is said that we are all threatened (and girls, and aunts - lovers of jeans) "women's diseases" and anathema...
Well, I replied to her: so that there are no female diseases, it is necessary to have more and have more children.
She ran away faster than last year. Probably cursed now.

A few years ago we had a maid. Every morning, going into the bathroom, I saw a glass of muddy fluid on the shelf in which her inserted jaw floated. That annoyed me a lot. One day, passing by a street kiosk, I saw behind the glass a toy inserted jaw of a vampire with cloves. In the evening, removing the teeth glass, put another with vampire cloves. The effect exceeded all expectations, the mother-in-law began to hide her jaw and quickly left.

Dialogue between implementer and programmer today:
Will we really make money?
Everything will be fine, I am sure.
(It takes 2 hours)
Who wrote, tested, and most importantly, the fox, twisted to the working version? We have a ass again.
Everything is expected and according to plan.
Could we finish planning the ass?
...and we will have an unexpected ass, which, agree, is worse.

If, in connection with the fall of the ruble, the Central Bank issued a ten-thousand banknote, it must be depicted by Elena Isinbayev - she also jumped high.

Some comps correct "in mong" to "in morge" (mongo - documentary BD)
My colleague and I had a dialogue.
X: And you in the morrow, parents are lying apart from the children?
Y: No, children lie in their parents.

Do you want to understand why many women consider all men concerned? Create a female account with a cute girl on an avatar in any social network.

I'm squeezing on the game forum, discussing the hacking of a new "Civ". The forum is open, all in English.

Here, a kind of whipped pot throws: “I’ve hit the Russians (in the game), and now this goat (a character controlled by a comp) is pressing me. How did he develop his technology so well? He landed on the planet 6 moves later than me! These Russians are always going to fight..."

I cried out of humiliation. Typical Yankees: “We’ve bombed them a little, and now they’re giving up, here’s the spiders!”

Even the voice of the people today is a fan.

Dad told me. In his youth, he was a field sheriff, for some time he worked in an ambulance in a psychiatric brigade. Once there was a challenge - the retiree-chekist exacerbated his skull with paranoia. And this grandfather in the city knew: not the first time, and he despite his old age, with his Jiu-Jitsu dressed a set of ments rarely when his soul appeared. He was taken by two brigades throughout his life - psychiatrists for him, and anti-shock menta pumping. But the mentions are busy, something happened. Well, Dad suggested to play on the combat experience of the old fighter of the invisible front. He went to the post office, asked for a brown envelope, asked for the tape for telegrams to be printed "You must appear urgently in the administration..." and so on. Surguchem tapped, 20 kopecks with the emblem pushed off, the whole entourage... He came, the coat removed. The daughter or daughter-in-law:
“Papa is locked up, he doesn’t let anyone.”
“I’ll try it politely.”
knocking at the door.
“Nikolai Matveevich?”
“Yes”
“Your package”
“Where from?”
“Well, what stupid questions... put a signature, a number and a time.”
The door opens, the hand takes the envelope, after a minute returns, signed by the CERNILS (PEROM): NAME, NAME, FATHER, SIGNATURE, DATA, TIME.
“The car is waiting for you at the entrance.”
He came out in a leather jacket, in a trio suit, in a white shirt, chested, inflated, with a folder.
“Why the ambulance?”
“Do you want a black limousine with a flashlight?”
“Young man, chekist, you think.”
In a word, as long as grandfather realized how, he was already wrapped to the seat. He admired how he was taken professionally. The father then received thanks from the boss for his professionalism and inventiveness.

A simple way to win a million in the lottery: you have to organize it.

XHH: We went with a girl to the raid in Voyeur, gathered the people. Added pers with nick "for ever", which my favorite immediately reacted with the phrase "O, Weight Forever, it's about me...". To my observation, the name of Persian,, "Spring Always", was upset and thought about the eternal.

The client is missing. files in the interface, you need to find)
Developer: I am sending a search brigade))
Tester: and I thought we as the police would wait three days, suddenly come back.)))