bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №72078
 25.10.2012
...
How well do you know Matthew? :)
-Somewhere between: "What is Fakin Matan?" and "Currently, we have a Matan" =D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №72077
 25.10.2012

With Picaboo. 
Which word can’t get a rhythm.
 Here are simple words with a complicated rhythm: LIFE
Fuck it = (
Bravo to you ?))
Fallur: Sorry, I thought we were in an association

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №72076
 25.10.2012
xxx: heard the joke that the company is afraid to tell Valuev that he will no longer advertise their products?
YYY: Oh yes it is fun. But laughing and laughing, he continues to film in the roles. According to law, he cannot engage in commercial activities.
xxx: Just other deputies are afraid to tell him that he can’t do business :)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №72075
 25.10.2012
How did you find the website of Habrabrabr?
Go to Google Voice Search :)

[ + 31 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72074
 25.10.2012
An intuitive interface in life.

I came to one of the offices for work and after a while asked them (pardon) for a sorting. They point me to the door at the end of the hallway and give me a tablespoon. I really wore for a long time. A helpful imagination threw me a few pictures of using a spoonful in the sorting. When I still gathered my exploded brains into a pile and asked them, it turned out that their sortir is closed to a lock with a lock and the door is opened and to open it they smash the tongue of the lock with a spoon. No... Well, it’s for everyone without explanation...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72073
 25.10.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yyy: Yes my son
Pater, I have sinned!
XXX: I didn't lick under a cat's neck photo!
We are not all without sins.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72072
 25.10.2012
She: I was at the worst doctor today.
He has a logopedist?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72071
 25.10.2012
<qwerty55190> how to change the nick?
<MALEI> /nick bvz
qwerty55190 is now called bvz

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72070
 25.10.2012
In the mailer news, an explanation of the storm warning:
... fog, ice, ice sheet, strong wind, snowfall, rain, strong ice, dust storm

Free download, without registration and without SMS.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №72069
 25.10.2012
Kodai: Oh, I want to drink, I want to get up at twelve and go for tea.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72068
 25.10.2012
Sungrey: In addition to the presence of calories in food, there is another thing like their digestibility. Gasoline, for example, is very calorie, what’s the point?
Solar_Wind: Vodka is very high in calories.
jsnk: that’s all the alkas are so strong and muscular

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72067
 25.10.2012
I lay on the couch a little drunk. I watched telecast. I wanted to chew the cat, but he is nowhere in sight. I automatically pick up the phone to tap on the cat, and by putting my finger over the buttons, I realize I’m a dumb man... But I was extremely surprised when the cat mulled under his side in the blanket. There was nothing left to do, he said, “Allo.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72066
 25.10.2012
I bought a Nikon D90.

ZZZ: Now you have joined the ranks of niconists.)

XXX: Are the Niconists from Patriarch Nikon? And the old believers prefer Cannon))

XXX: How are the Niconists different from the Canonists? They zoom with three fingers.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №72065
 25.10.2012
Or maybe with the photo and did nothing at all, and it's all about the body... You understand, there are such special people, whose body is only a triangle for joining hands to the ass...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72064
 25.10.2012
A woman must love someone, otherwise she will hate everyone.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №72063
 25.10.2012
About how people who drank to half-death lived in the morrow, everyone knows.
And these stories have repeatedly appeared in various newspapers-magazines-publishments-internets.
But my story is a small nuance.
It started as always.
The body was found in an empty bottle. The cold...
No pulse, no breath, death came a few hours ago.
On the street is night.
The brigade is in the morge, and the papers are in the morning!
Alkanaft woke up in the morning, ended up on the dividing table among the other tables with the cadastre.
Despite his severe condition, he stood where he was. He began to rub his eyes to look at objects that were far from the window, in which the dawn had just begun to drizzle.
Well, his hands were on the table... and he was sprayed with chlorine, after the pathologist did his job during the day. Chlorine got in the eye - the alkas swallowed!
He threw at the door, and began to knock in it that there is strength!
Crying unmemberly, and cursing all and all!
The night guard was a man with experience, and he did not faint - as happened in other stories. No, he did not run away!
He – like a real worker of the medical institution – rushed to save a man!
Or rather, to open the door.
Pushing the door of the refrigerator with all his strength, he did not think - again the demand - what a man was behind it! And it is precisely this same person he, the night guard of the morgo, has stumbled on the roof of the alconft by this very door!
He flew a few meters away, and was silent, losing consciousness.
The guard turned on the light to fully understand - where was the man who was mistakenly taken for dead?
And the same man was lying under the empty table from which he just got up.
The blue frozen body did not indicate that the body was alive.
But how did this body fall to the floor, and yet rear in the morge and make demonic sounds?
The guard took a step... two...
and here...
It is a dead body.
and survived!!!!! to
It began to be eaten - as in horror - to stand on their feet, clinging to their nodular fingers at the cutting table!
The body was in full growth.
Naked, blue and smelled like a grave.
The body turned!
And they looked at the guard with huge red as the demon's eyes!
From the curved mouth came abundant bloody foam - clearly chopped from the neighbor's corpse.
The body took an uneven step toward the guard, raised his arms toward him, and whispered with his vampire voice:
I am the one!!!! to

In the morning there was a painting of oil: the guard supported with all his strength the door of the morga from the street, which shrugged and fought like a lion in chains! At the same time, the guard tried to set her on fire with a lighter, loudly and clearly declaring at the same time "Our Father", in mixture with "God of the King Save", "Rise" and "Ezzy cherubim"!!! to

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №72062
 25.10.2012
An aircraft crashes over Moscow.
Take the plane away from the city. Save the people!The pilots decide.
Maybe here?
No, that is you! There is also a big shopping center. A lot of people!
Maybe in the forest?
What are you! It is time for the mushroom! There are so many innocent mushrooms! People are sorry!
Or maybe... (the crew bowed over the map)
and exactly! The ruble!! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72061
 25.10.2012
The perfect compliment should reflect the mind, soul and beauty of the girl.
I understood. You are educated, caring and... breastfeeding.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72060
 25.10.2012
In the microblog:
My students, please don’t come to my couple tomorrow!!and "

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72059
 25.10.2012
It is finished!
It is all! Now it is possible, as before the end of the world, to bounce, deboot and have disorderly sex))))
I would like to be decent :D

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