xxx: I feel like a character from a fairy tale of a goldfish.
YYY: And what character do you play?
XXX: I am not.

A person is worth not what he has achieved, but what he has refused.

Confectionery Education

That I work on computer courses, I probably no longer need to say. Everyone here already knows that.

So then. I was in a healthy group (17-18 people, I don’t remember a lot). And at the first class I offered to move my brains and to the one who will give a solution to the difficult question I promised a candy.

The fate finger pointed to the oldest student in the group. Deep over 70 years (this is a minus), but the complete absence of old age marasma (this is a plus). She honestly won this candy and equally honestly cared for her 5-year-old granddaughter. From this moment the story begins.

In the second class, I run through the classroom and see that the only book I read at home is the oldest student (see the blurred pages, the labels). I am surprised (for Russian students, regardless of age, attachment is rare), praise. Give me another candy. and all. The conditional reflex began to work.

By the end of the course (how many months studied, if not more than six months) the best student in the group is the same pensioner. Everyone runs to consult her. For the superbly done inspection work I give a final candy. The lady asks, “Exactly the last?” I say yes, unfortunately, the course is over. The woman said, “Thank God! I have terror at home. My granddaughter will not control what I have done your homework, even if she doesn’t sit down for the TV. Without sweets, I’m even afraid to come home. I bought it if you didn’t give it.”

The main thing is to be happy, and it does not matter what conclusion the psychiatrist will write.

Listen, day by day you are dumb, and it is tangible.
HH: What’s happening to you?
Fuck, I did not understand!

Enigma: The modern shredder is wrapped in more than 40 parts. Dispersing it, and then sewing it back so that the same results, is a red-eyed worse than genta collection.

and ihatemalife:
I was going with a girl all week to my house, to another city.At the last moment she says to me that she can’t go because I have something wrong in my chest, the feeling is not good. Well, as a man, I stumbled, said you go and it's all there.
In general, the trip was not of luck, because she was constantly grumbling, did not react to my jokes, and generally sat 80% of the time with crossed hands.
She told me at the end of the trip, “I said, I have a feeling.”

In the summer, I went to the river alone. Two weeks ago I got a cat - active, ready to play all day, had to buy toys. I picked up a bag from the evening (a towel, a book, a bottle of water). In the morning, I come to the beach, shake a towel, and the folds come out: a ball, a rabbit's tail, a poppy, a mouse...
Apparently, the cat decided that I was bored and decided to donate a part of the toys. I had to play scenes on the beach between a puppy and a mouse. Not in vain he tried!

Liska

>> He’s heard that there’s some such technology, let’s say XML. He worked in the company, and at the next table was a guy who knew something about XML there. This is already written in the resume - XML.

OP-OP, now I know what else can be added to my resume!

My family is on vacation by car. Father in the driver, mother in the front passenger and a five-year-old son in the back. This son pulled out of his nose a fatty goat and pushed into his mouth.
What do you do, you can’t eat chickens!
Dad: let him eat, or the whole salon will get dirty!

I decided to bring my girlfriend home for the first time. And I live in a private house, large - three "corpuses" connected with each other by small transitions. I tell her, you say, while you go here, and I take a shower.
Within 15 minutes I got out of the shower, the sms came. From a girl. “Maax, I’m standing here in a corridor, there are two ficus, a big window and a table that’s cracked, fun. Tell me where I am and how to get to you?and "
Now I have to paint a map. for the visitors.

From opennet, discussion of the new google:
In general, from the point of view of the Chromebook, I can confidently say that Samsung has not two, but three designers - one holds the MacBook Air, the other circles, the third makes another billion small coins.

This fool is watching movies and series in English, and when someone comes, he clamps his nose and translates it with a disgusting accent.

I also thought yesterday that I was sober until today.

My husband has a bag. When he wakes up, he begins to sneeze desperately. I get up before him. Accordingly, when I hear the chiche in the bedroom, I immediately bring him a cup of coffee.
Yesterday he said:
I have a wife! I don’t have time to sneeze – immediately fresh coffee serves.
The fucking...

Today at the post office. A 3-year-old girl asks her mom: “When will we leave here?”
Mom: "Never..."

of Latvia. Interview with a colleague from Norway (both builders):
I: Listen, are you not robbed in Norway?
Norwegian: Why, they are stealing, of course!
First they build, then they steal.
First they steal, then they build. For what remains.

You will not argue! and :)

The little son came to his father and asked the crumb:
What’s good and why do you mind everyone?

How do you usually get to your hometown: by train or by plane?
WOW: In general, if I have time, then on the train, and if I...
Zzz: and if there is money, then on the plane

Montserrat Caballé in Yekaterinburg suffered a micro stroke.
She has not seen Voronezh yet.