bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №153183
 20.10.2019
The experience of the ancient Athens shows: in order for one part of the population to become philosophers, it is necessary that the other part of the population be slaves!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153182
 20.10.2019
Worked as a master at a refinery.Employees 90 percent all former nurses.Term from 10 to 30.People are adults, very cultural well and in production the rule of "dry law" for all without exception.
Calls means a constant counterparty with an unusual request.
Take my son to work, I want him to understand what work is and how he earns for bread.
I-You know who I work and the conditions of work in general.Why do you do this?
No. I need you.
Come back tomorrow at nine.
It means this "little", and there at 17 years a child with a height of 180 and AUeshnik.
I think that was what it turned out to be, for re-education probably sent a file.
I say to him, well there is a wagon where to change clothes, you ask something like that, he will tell you everything.
And to sort and disassemble the board raw manually I will tell you it is not very easy, cubes so for 20-30 per day.On the shift always 2-4 loaders depending on the load.
I leave, I work little, I do my business, I call at 12 a.m.
What happened to his voice?
I know him, I haven’t seen him since 9 o’clock, I went to work.I’ll come to the car and see how he is there and what he is.
I’m running into the booth to the truckers, I think fucking probably.
I fly and go on the men: you are a@@elli, what the boy made me his father called.
We had one “senior” loaders, all called him “Bandy”.I hope you don’t need to specify why.
P-Chief, what are you quarrelling about, we didn't even touch him with the finger, he sits on the scanner in the corner.So we just talked to him, who he is and what he is.
I look at the guy, and he is poorly stuck in the corner, sitting all pale.
I say, go out, let’s not sink, Billy?
He said no, he just talked.
After an hour, Pappa came and took it.no took and took it.
It’s been 4 months and I’ve forgotten about all this story.Call again means this counterparty.
Q. Are you in place?
I-Yes
I am coming in
I came and brought 3 to 0.75 absolute, cakes, some other snacks.
What kind of celebration is it? or what kind of celebration?
K-Thank you, and the men thank you and thank you.
My little girl “worked” with you.
Yes, but it didn’t work.
K-It's all the shit.He after that time as if they replaced him.Mom after meal began to say thank you.Ege wrote well, acted.Aue abandoned his.Humanly began to talk.Change the guy.What did you do with him?
I’m just talking 😉

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №153181
 20.10.2019
Mom, I am dating a man.
And who is he?
The postman Yuri.
and Jura? He could be your father!
Mother, age is just a number.
My daughter, you didn’t quite understand me.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №153180
 19.10.2019
If a woman asks for something, she must give it, otherwise she will take it herself and not necessarily from the one she asks for.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153179
 19.10.2019
The origin of one profanation.

Communicating with readers of my unforgettable fairy tales is a great pleasure. At the same time, the opportunity to look at history from a different angle, through the prism of a fresh outward look.
It is especially useful to communicate with attentive and demanding readers.
For example, one of my most respected commentators called wearing office clothes outside the hospital “profanation.”
Day two thought — I have to admit her right, so it is.
Not to let it get in the eye - a jacket in my climate is needed almost always, especially in the morning.
And it is not that I am alone in this transgression - this habit is quite common among my colleagues in our small hospital: surgeons, orthopedists, obstetricians, anesthesiologists.

I thought about the origins of this my rooted habit of wearing an operating uniform, scrubs, on duty and the day after it, which is generally reduced to half my life.
And I found the reason, the zero point of reference of my professional career.
While I was working in a large university center – I’t think of it, the duty was inside the hospital, after completing the shift we went home, without the slightest chance to return before the next day. Wear clothes before and after work.
My transition to work in a small town and a small hospital changed the type of duty — they were on duty at home, hanging with pagers and mobile phones.
Injury and childbirth—mostly, sometimes resuscitation or rest—help in airway control, in short—something urgent.
And then on one of the nursing nights, listening to my cell phone, I walked around the house.
The house was old and required care, what I did - I can't remember for years. I remember it was dusty and hot.
The call. Reception rest, the sounds of screams and panic, the reception doctor - an anesthesiologist and otolaryngologist, urgently, prepare a tracheotomy!
The necessary explanation: the receptionist is a universal with serious training and skills, able to hold positions before the arrival of heavy cavalry of specialists, if he panics - the situation is really difficult, they are about to lose the patient because of the inability to control the delivery of oxygen to the body.
Adrenaline broke out - as it burned, and I ripped the car from the spot to the gallop - I overcame the road to the hospital twice as fast as usual, flew into the receiver and started to work.
The man survived, the top decided - not the time for him, sent a squad of medical angels to move our hands and brains in the direction of success.
I can't remember the details, but here's what I remember well - a feeling of embarrassment, even shame...
Why is?
Judge yourself: having successfully completed the resuscitation measures, I stood in front of a large family of a patient man at 20 and approximately the same number of employees - in a dirty t-shirt with disgusting spots of all colors, in home shorts of not the first youth and not the shorts of an uncertain color, under which our eternal oceanic breeze was quite fresh.
Poor relatives were confused - not a doctor, but a misunderstanding, a shameful man, not a doctor!
It is possible that this episode was the beginning of my many years of profanation.
And maybe the fact that I’m just shaking my head, myself and you, hiding my laziness – the main cause of everything happening or not happening in my life... who knows what kind of cockroaches live in that gray head! @Michael Ashnin

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153178
 19.10.2019
Instagramer: “And today I’ll tell you that the floor is below, and the ceiling is above!”
The audience: “As it is right! Right to the point! You write so well! very vital.”

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153177
 18.10.2019
Previously, the understanding of the sluggishness of being and bad sleep under the influence of the dangers of this world were considered an element of adulthood.

And now it is recommended to avoid all the psychotraumatic for the child, so that he grows up, sneezes and falls asleep, because before he was not told about such a shame.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №153176
 18.10.2019
When a woman asks a man’s opinion, she wants him to guess her, not her own.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153175
 18.10.2019
Recently, his daughter went to the Olympics in the "environmental world". While waiting, I heard the story.
There was a boy. Father stuck for a long time in remote places, mother deprived of parental rights. I raise my grandmother. They live modestly. He is a hard-working man, but teaching is hard. And just then for the whole class with him in all ways praised the medalists of the city Olympiad in mathematics. And the boy also wanted to be in the zenith of fame. After a sober assessment of his knowledge, he stopped on the subject "the surrounding world". The unstoppable examination of the subject gave him 1 place in the class. It was a pass to the city Olympics. He did not get the prize. All the participants remembered him, because after the end of the Olympics he approached everyone and asked for a long time what questions were caught. He recorded everything in a notebook. In the third class, the story repeated. The same flight, the recording of questions in the notebook. 4th grade and the winner of the Olympics. When the letter was handed to him, he was attached, but his lips trembled. God let him not waste this perseverance in the future.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №153174
 18.10.2019
The Scottish village, the assembly, says the old man.
I have two bad news. First, our lord restored the right of the first night.
Why him? He is “Blue”!
This is the second bad news!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153173
 17.10.2019
Xxx: The first pet was a hamster, it lived with me no more than 3 days. I don't know why, but on the third day he died :(

Yyy: Food to drink tried

Xxx: Yes, but it didn’t bring him back to life.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153172
 17.10.2019
Recently, his daughter went to the Olympics in the "environmental world". While waiting, I heard the story.

There was a boy. Father stuck for a long time in remote places, mother deprived of parental rights. I raise my grandmother. They live modestly.



He is a hard-working man, but teaching is hard. And just then for the whole class with him in all ways praised the medalists of the city Olympiad in mathematics. And the boy also wanted to be in the zenith of fame. After a sober assessment of his knowledge, he stopped on the subject "the surrounding world". The unstoppable examination of the subject gave him 1 place in the class. It was a pass to the city Olympics.



He did not get the prize. All the participants remembered him, because after the end of the Olympics he approached everyone and asked for a long time what questions were caught. He recorded everything in a notebook. In the third class, the story repeated. The same flight, the recording of questions in the notebook. 4th grade and the winner of the Olympics. When the letter was handed to him, he was attached, but his lips trembled. God let him not waste this perseverance in the future.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №153171
 17.10.2019
Politicians never lie, they just say what people want to hear.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №153170
 17.10.2019
In 1985, cosmonauts Janibekov and Savinov reanimated the deforested orbital station "Saliut-7". This flight is considered to be the most difficult flight in the history of space. The power supply of the station was disrupted, it did not communicate. For repair were sent Janibekov and Savinov on the ship "Soyuz T-13". They went off and took up repairs. The repair was about as follows: some block was removed, checked by the tester, normal returned to place, faulty were replaced. And here, after replacing the next block, Janibekov clearly heard a calm voice behind his back: "Good, daddy!". His first thought was, “All, dog, goodbye, cosmonautics – my roof has gone.” Then I noticed that Savian's nose was white too. This was a bit reassuring - they could not go to the two roofs at once. I turned around (who else could be there besides them?) They started hysterically.
The previous crew left a cassette with the "White Sun of the Desert" in a video magnetophone. While the station was destroyed, the visitor slept, and as he asked, he woke up. Just in the same place when the Red Army Sukhov approaches the axacals. A quiet panic began in the CUP when there was heard the hysterical whisper of the astronauts, and they could not clearly report the situation for a long time.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153169
 17.10.2019
There will be something to remember in old age.
In old age, you will remember where you put your glasses.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №153168
 17.10.2019
About 27 years ago, two people had sex, and now I have to go to work every day.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №153167
 17.10.2019
I went to the market at the age of 12 and bought a daily five-pound chicken 6 pieces. The parents were in shock.

I brought them to the roofed balcony and raised this gang for 3 months. She fed them with wheat with eggs and, on my mother’s advice, with butter.

Everyone came up with a name, went out with them in the yard, they followed me.

And then in August I went to the camp on a trip, and when I arrived I learned that the chickens had gone to my grandmother in the village.

“I don’t have a grandmother in the village,” I said.

“We found your chickens a great grandmother,” the parents replied, “and, in general, don’t get distracted, eat a delicious soup.

The 90s was

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153166
 17.10.2019
When I was under 12, we kept chickens right at home in the winter, such were the times. I came back from school with a few chickens in boxes to lay eggs. My grandmother told me to bring those back to the grocery store and the eggs to the refrigerator. I look into the box, and there are two chickens and one egg. Well, because of all my strength, I was not confused and remembered how my grandmother did - I naked the little boy and slipped into the claw, touched the egg. The second chicken. So I lost my little virginity 🥺

YYY: Oh, tell me something else. I just ate nuts here, and I almost swallowed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №153165
 16.10.2019
A brief morale of all network stories about customer and executor conflicts:

1st Do you provide services? Always take an advance payment. Otherwise they throw.

2nd Do you order services? Never give an advance payment. Otherwise they throw.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №153164
 16.10.2019
What happened to Roskomnadzor? I recently downloaded a porn video that contained cigarettes!

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