In Kiev, a pedestrian struck a driver who tried to get around the traffic jams on the sidewalk.
It happened in Kiev on the street of Elena Teliga. The guy in a fabric jacket walked on the sidewalk, and his opponent tried to circumvent the traffic jams on the sidewalk, but failed. As a result, the pedestrian, not quite professionally, but persistently melted his "visavi".

The teaching question: Do you stop breathing, will you have problems?
One of the students: Well in a few minutes there is no...

It turns out, there are books that are much easier to download than to find where to buy!

[subj: “Happy farmer” closes in the social network “In contact”]
Return the Pigs of Level 9!
YYY: My grandfather also took away the farm in 1933.

Lecha suffered an accident last month. In his car on the ring car flew a man, into his ass drunk, deprived of rights. As it turned out later: the man, while not right, wanted to try the car near the garage (!) and by chance!!! He was on the ring, frightened and decided to take a sharp drop from there... the man decided - the man did... without looking... and entered Lech.

First day of the semester, first day of school. Beginning of the couple.
Prepod: Blah blah blah, what is ethnicity?
The Dead Silence
Prepod (disappointed): Taak... I’ll go to the decanate and take your notes... (the audience is quiet, then the audience will be ой-ой ой)...I’ll squeeze my head with ashes....(laughs in the audience)....I’ll scratch myself shakes like the ancient Greeks...(the audience is still shaking)....I’ll cut my ear off like the Vikings (the audience continues to shake pleasantly, although it’s already scary to be in a closed room with this person)...and...I don’t even know, well, what else should I do?
Probably this should have been the Great Educational Rhetorical Question, with the subtext “Think and repent, sinners!” But the whole effect ruined Katya. After Mhatovsky’s enduring pause, she sincerely advised:
and harakiri!

I saw an announcement at the stop:
"VSPAŠU GARDEN MINITraktor EVGENIUS 8-923....."

In connection with the difficult material situation of the enterprise, all employees are transferred to the position of slaves, with the possibility of subsequent career growth to the hologram.

We are happy >_<

The true victory of the spiritual over the material
X: This is when you pull the battery out of your wife’s vibrator in the morning to put it into the player.

Q: Is my boyfriend perverted if he dreams of loving other girls in my presence?
Q: Do I have a moral right to make a scene of jealousy?

What do you want from me, naked girl?? to

Ace Odinn
I went to the toilet water yesterday.

Failure Man
Was she driving in front of you?

In Germany, the police of one of the lands protest against the hatchbacks
Their grandparents did not think so during the war.

XXX: Listen, can you come to you now to make copies of three sheets of one piece?
YYY: We do not have Xerox.
XXX is yes. I came to you to do.
YYY: Where is he standing? To be honest, I don’t even see him.
In the window, next to you.
YYY: Blin is Xerox what? I think it’s fucking worth it.

A small northern town, at this time, it is already a minus at night.
I took a taxi to the post office in the morning.
I went on foot and dressed in the summer. I go cold.
I hear the same taxi coming in and the woman-taxi driver offered FREE to bring home with the words "I go there".
I’ve always been skeptical about advertising (divorce and all that), but this woman won my heart!

America’s mind is understandable.
Arsenic is measurable.
Being is nothing special.
Believing in her is not necessary.

There are two people in the corridor: a black cat (in a red cloth) and a daughter behind him.
My daughter runs:
Look at the Musketeer!
I am :
and Nea. This is a guard.
And only then came the idea that tormenting a cat is bad.

News: "The mayor of Odessa planted 6 pine trees in the area of Arkady"
Q: When does he do his job?
Man is looking for himself...

It is as terrible as a nuclear war.
y: how the atomic war orbits

In the evening, after work, I went to the store and bought products. Before going to bed, in order not to forget the work of the sausage, she wrote on a small sheet with a fatty flomaster: "DURA! Take a cupcake"! And attaching a stick to her hat, she went to sleep. In the morning he goes to the subway to work... the man next door sits, pushes her to the side and says, “Well, stupid, did you forget the sausage?”

In the midst of the "orange" revolution, a joke for the sake of the white hat of our courier grabbed a healthy orange mark with Yushchenko and all his guard. They sprinkled the whirlwind, feeling her reaction (she is a fierce supporter of Yanukovych). Who knew that when she was going to go with the mail, she would not look in the mirror, and we would turn around and forget to warn? She returned, almost suffocated me - half a day with a huge agitation on her forehead, she walked around the city - and to the police and to the prosecutor's office, no bastard said anything to her :-), until the security guard stopped in our court :-)