bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145343
 05.10.2017
I thought about the fact that in the streets almost disappeared inappropriate records: whether there were fewer fences, or more Internet.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №145342
 05.10.2017
He was involved in translation for internal affairs bodies. Thankful customers gave me small instructs, very beautiful and look original. A bottle of noble drink was attached to them. I was surprised by this generosity. In the evening in the subway, when I was driving home, holding gift cards in his hands, several times caught respectful looks on myself. When I got out on the platform, I saw two men of decent appearance who greeted me with the words: We wish you good health, boss. One of them gave me a visit card and told me that they were ready to work. If necessary, just tell me. Thinking that I was confused with someone, he polently said goodbye and left. At home, the son, seeing my gift, said: Great work, you can see that from the area, who got it will not be given.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №145341
 05.10.2017
You have 200 rubles.
Is it 100 on the bill?
Yes, it’s written, but it actually costs 200.
Okay, keep it here...
Sorry, but you gave me only 100.
Yes, it’s written 100, but it’s actually 200.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145340
 05.10.2017
xxx: Progress, speed it up... On different sides of the house there are 2 containers for large garbage. I opened Google Earth, I sit, measure which one is closer to my entrance - it is not difficult to drag, but it is uncomfortable and uncomfortable. 14 meters, the fucking difference. Naturally, I’ll go to a closer, why didn’t I open Google Earth in vain?
Fuck, I don’t know what to say...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145339
 05.10.2017
Almost 2 hours at night. Someone "wonderful" under the windows has already listened to "beautiful far away" 4 times. The beautiful is far away, it will not be cruel to him, but people from the two nearest houses are unlikely.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145338
 05.10.2017
mfo: I read the news: "In Rome will once again open access for tourists to the top, fifth level of the Colosseum". The remnants of education emerged in the brain and suggested that on the upper ranks of the Colosseum were plebeys and women, slaves and foreigners.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145337
 05.10.2017
A car story from my childhood. As I remember now, my grandmother was baptized when I said who I would be when I grow up))) and added, don't give god.
When asked who you would be when you grew up, I proudly replied that I would be disabled.
And it all started with the fact that I walked past the disabled machine in childhood and it hurt me))) I naturally asked what it was necessary to get such a car, I was answered that I needed to be a disabled.
The kids wanted to be sailors, pilots, astronauts, and I wanted to be a disabled))))))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145336
 05.10.2017
More than once and not twice she sacrificed her life where healthy males passed.

Is she a cat?

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145335
 04.10.2017
With Idolopoklonskaya everything is clear – she was thrown down by the Benderists to avenge Russia for the Crimea, ultimately discrediting parliamentarism.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145334
 04.10.2017
XXX is
I will whistle.
YYYY
The GMM. Hado fold the lips in a tube and blow. You can?
XXX is
I don’t have a tube to fold my lips into.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145333
 04.10.2017
There was a joke this morning.
Masha (4 years) asks – Mom, and when I grow up and be like you, where will I work?
Where you want, you will be there.
Re: I don’t want to work! A-A A

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145332
 04.10.2017
The IT Corporation
A strong female voice in the hallway.
All, I have eaten!
The Flegmatic Man:
The overflow count...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145331
 04.10.2017
Eat ONLY raw meat and fish and all bacteria will become your friends.
YYY: Well what? Can parasites be friends?
xxx: how to say... though, among people there are parasites-friends :D

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145330
 04.10.2017
Advertisements on the walls

We had nice stops all over the city a year ago. Very soon they were caught up with ads of various kinds of horns and pebbles across the surface, despite the presence of a huge board for ads (where two per two meters). I always break them down at every stop, but my efforts are a drop in the sea. How to fight more effectively?

You can, of course, sit in the bushes and shoot at killing... But I would like to do without a crime.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №145329
 04.10.2017
A female figure without shortcomings is usually recognized as one who has surpluses in the right places!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №145328
 04.10.2017
When I was 10-11 years old, my brother and I were taken to church. Before confession, my father asked me if I knew what communion was. I said I am smart and I know. And he told him what is the communion, the communion, what they differ from, and did not forget about the involving turnaround.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145327
 04.10.2017
I thought first – what is the new clever scheme? Banks collect money from the people, steal it safely, and then shout, "Oh God, the people have lost money, the state must urgently help!" The state organizes insurance payments and various sanations there. Where does the state get the money in principle? Right for the people. Nothing new, the people with the help of the state feed the scammers.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145326
 04.10.2017
The xxx:
Feelings that the Russian judges have a monument such as the degree of danger: 1) a retired man stole a 3 year old struggler; 2) killed a man someone's son - 3 years of settlement; 3) stole an official - 3 billion years conditionally. 4) Navalny left the entrance for -20 days.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №145325
 04.10.2017
All the leaves have fallen.
The Blue Elves
The trousers hanged on the pebble.
The cowards hang.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145324
 03.10.2017
BorisM (13:47:33 3/10/2017)
I told Rodion in the kindergarten in a group a boy broke his jaw.
I (13:47:54 3/10/2017)
No is
BorisM (13:48:18 3/10/2017)
That tell me. at Rodion in the kindergarten in a group, the boy broke his jaw.

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