Mother of God! These crazy guys put the tits into the game! What an abomination to show a character scene in the shower without clothes! In Mass Effect 3, Shepard went into the bath right in his officer’s uniform and it was great. Just think, the poor player after countless cut throats and digging in the intestines of the opponents will finally decide to relax, but instead will see this disgusting nauseous spectacle.

I don't understand why you're uncomfortable carrying bags for three holes.
Homer Simpson –

Web site for job search, I search for vacancies where work experience is NOT required. There is a job "Plastic Surgeon".

The first time with a girl:

Girl: Why should I be sure? What if I am not sure?

Uncertainty gives rise to doubt, doubt gives rise to fear, fear gives rise to hatred. The road to the dark side opens up hatred.

XHH: Help to choose an mp3 player: the main is loud bass.
WOW: take anything from cowon, sound best you can get up to $300
I have a budget of 1500 thousand rubles.
One and a half million what? Take a Toyota RAW 4 - there is a good player

During the repair, the cat forgot that he is afraid of the vacuum cleaner

To the video about the cockroach in the center:

The cockroach was soaked with the help of hands, scissors and such a mother!
Do not show the Americans the video, they have a complex of inferiority because of us!

A man with a washing machine respect, so to work a healthy scratch with 1 stroke.
This was the one who had to fight with Klitschko.

My 5 cups:

This something:
Tell someone to these humanoids from what planet, who produce large bags for washing powder and pasta, that a person has 4 fingers, not three!! to

I x@ei, aliens with 3 and 4 fingers divide, in the open, laundry powder and pasta on the Internet, and the opinion of the Earthans no one asks...
So, I, as an indigenous inhabitant of the planet Earth, have FIVE fingers on each limb!!! The Five!! to
You came here, you know.

How do you imagine the holes for your fifth floor, Earthman? I support 4 hole holders.

I chose pastas yesterday, with a different taste than I finished.
XXX: I finally found out I bought the same :)
I bought tea three times.
Which I am allergic to

We are talking about whether we need to hire new patent experts. I notice that if there are too many requests, I will get so many translations that I will just die.
Boss: "That's not a problem - we'll hire another translator"
Pause *
I mean to HELP you, not after you kill yourself!

Roskomnadzor is the most dangerous for children, because it pretends to protect, but in fact does not.
It’s like you put a gun on a security guard and it didn’t work.

Habr

[23:54:46] Barrakuda: I had a file today...
[23:57:35] worm: let’s talk about the file)
[23:57:39] worm: the eyes are closed already
[23:58:30] Barrakuda: I came to the store for the stove, met a friend... and he let’s ask, what’s better? Beeline or Spark. I explain to him. Bilein is more stable, spark is cheaper. Well, and so on... I tell you about the service, that the spark pidar... etc... And the guy asks me, and ROSTELEKOM like the internet? Well.. I by habit and old memory declare with all the authority that the Internet, which was the UTC good can not be... and here!!!!!! I am angry with a man who turned out to be the ROSTELEKOM installor and tells the guy that I am a deer and I do not shake anything... THAT they are hidden, they have for 400 rubles 15 megabits, and no more. And what I have on the spark 100 is fucking...these technologies still do not exist!!! to

The incident was recently. The subscriber complained that every morning someone calls him and the number is defined as “Signal.” He cannot accept the challenge. No calls are detected in detail. The incident ran through the cellular company’s departments for several days, until the administrators finally guessed it was an alarm clock!! If the subscriber is a troll, then quite noble))

Correspondence in work mail:

xxx: I sell Brother MFP, the reason for the sale: it takes up a lot of space and does not need a pin
YYY: No money but I can exchange for a gasoline! Official pile - pile it all! Beautiful orange color, will be a worthy decoration for any man.

October... soon there will be quotes about ass and session... they’ll think it’s funny.

The Male Logic

refuse to have sex with a girl because she has a menstrual period, the reason is that the member is worn out, the type of некомильфо.
A few days later, the same girl begins to engage in anal sex.
Then offended because she laughed for a long time.

Commentary of the programmer after six months of work in the new organization:

I think I know who the director is and he doesn’t love me anymore.

A friend writes from work:
Vova (17:50): 10 minutes left to work
Vova (17:50): And all my life (((

Are you talking about urbanization? A city of half a million people. In the center of the city - the production of electronics. In the factory - the workshop, in which a robot puts SMD components on print boards, works a oven to pay the paste, the old Soviet oscillograph noises, people work, the solder smoke. For the third time in a week in the midst of all this on my desk sits a bird-blue, without a burn, so cracked my cookies and apparently they hide on the design documentation. When he tries to open the window and release it into the natural habitat, he looks like an idiot.

by Habrahabra

The astronauts of the ISS will test a mini-brewery created by an 11-year-old student.

This student too literally perceived the film Armageddon with a drunk Russian astronaut on board the station.