The beginning.

I go to my native factory. and BA! Behind the garbage container, in the niche, there are coins - several five thousand, folded. And the container is steel, heavy; and the niche is narrow; and my uncle is not small... No, I don’t go through. But the brain is no less than that of the monkey: he took a swab and grabbed money out of tightness.
From the smoker, and a group of colleagues is leaving. I was the first to think of the swallow. The other stomachs pulled in and climbed, crawling. And the "money" on the printer is printed, and yet qualitatively so, without looking at not distinguishing. And there is a trick: after the stamping of their utyug well smoothed, so that even to the touch, therefore, they were like real almost.
I broke further entertainment to my colleagues. I took those “thirty thousand” to myself: I got, that is, mine.

The continuation.

I’ve been putting this printed bubble in my wallet for six months. It seems like you know - unreal - and as you get into the wallet, it's nice...
And here I go to the night shift at eight o’clock, on the way to the cigarette bar for cigarettes. There, it seems, my capital has been painted. On the dark street, a boy and a girl caught me, the boy scared with a folded knife, and the girl took the wallet. and escaped.

The end.

My wife worked at a hypermarket nearby. In the morning, she told me: Late in the evening came a dwarf, picked up a full basket of overseas buffalo and valuable snacks, and at the box office began to squeeze two false five thousand. The treasurer said to him, "Wait a minute, now the exchange will be brought" - and a button. And a minute later, the GBR has a hammer in his hands, and five minutes later, the police get the same paper from his pockets. and Prilep. Up to 8 years.
It is a pity that the girl did not work. Well, with this lifestyle will not walk for a long time.

In the United States began the Afro-Maidan.

xxx: Imagine, I sat down here and asked Galka to call her phone. I see, and there is the last call to some contact "MH";
X: I think she wrote me that way? Somehow it does not look like her.
And then I look, and the number is not mine!
WOW: So what, did you make a breakdown?
XXX is yes. It turned out that "MCH" is the "Museum of Tchaikovsky" :(. Now everyone tells me that I am jealous of her museums :(.

xxx: My wife experienced not that cognitive dissonance, not that post Russia in action.
XHH: We were summoned to the Commission on Minors, on the 25th.
XHH: I learned about this from the agenda that came on the 26th.

Open filtration of protons from a mixture of gases through a graphene plate under certain temperature conditions in the presence of a catalyst.

This actually provides a theoretical basis for building hydrogen generators from atmospheric air. According to Geim, we can release up to 1% of atmospheric hydrogen.

Energy unrelated to mineral sources, mobile generators on vehicles.

If this is not the future, then I don’t know how to surprise you.

They invented Lucia.
Written by Brabant, today at 12:18 · Reply.

The wife's father gathered to the market for foods, his wife as usual rewarded him with a list of "what to buy" where there was a bunch of medicines (to buy at the pharmacy) and at the end of the assignment "2 sells".
The test, so as not to fade, gave the list
to the pharmacist.
In short, he did not buy salad for dinner, but brought 2 bags of some herbs, it seems sweet... He says that the pharmacist had long guessed...

Better to be a fool than a naive fool who will ride everyone who is not lazy.

The false dichotomy.
You can’t be foolish, naive and foolish at the same time.

Hardkorinka: I was driving. On the highway 5 cars, in each a girl sits, instructors stand a handful at the side, their students occasionally look at them. Here I hear the scream "Stop, fool!", right on the brakes. I see, I am not the only one who considers myself a fool, all the girls who have been there have stopped. And they look scared where they were touched.
In general, there was one pillar collapsed, on it and orals.

Dreams come true and not come true.

Yuri Antonov plans to request from Apple the maximum possible amount of compensation, which is 5 million rubles for the composition. Since 90 works of the singer were sold on iTunes, the total amount of compensation could amount to 450 million rubles.
“We received a response that Antonov’s music to the store was provided by third-party content providers – Routenote/Insomnia Ltd. and Believe SAS. There the money was paid as royalties from the sale of works belonging to Yuri Antonov. For example, the company Believe SAS received a reward of 41 rubles 40 copies for the entire time of the album placement, the company RouteNote Ltd – $ 1.24”, – commented the CEO of RAO Sergey Fedotov.

This "cut off censorship" misunderstandings:
xxx: Yesterday on the track, in several sections on the sidelines were pits of sand in groups of 5-7 pieces. In fact, all the clusters of the same size, liters of 40 each. The distance between the squares is the same, 3 meters. Each piece has a sign "Sand". The WTF?
Yyy: The captain obviously had fun.

And when the snow falls out and there is ice all of a sudden, you will say a hundred times thank you to this captain the obvious that you immediately found a bunch of sand on the inscription on the tablet, rather than rushing the thorns with a plea in the eyes "why the roadmen did not leave on the side of the sand for grinding".
You need to think with your brains, not what you are used to.

Yesterday until late at night we discussed the new CRM system, including the interface - menu, submenu, the rest of the elements. He promised to release early today.
This morning my daughter got sick, my wife had to leave in the evening, well, I say to the boss:
- How good that I am leaving early today, my wife needs a meeting, I'll just replace her.
The boss even worried why I suddenly depended on half a word.

A father can give any child, even a puppy, if he can perform parental duties better than his mother.
===
What is the reality, theorist? If the mother does not lead an antisocial lifestyle and there are no facts of physical violence - the chances for the father are almost zero. It is written in the papers that the parents have equal rights and duties, in fact the mother does not have to prove anything at all, and the man must climb out of the skin, so as not to be a camel.

to this:

Everything is right. A hat - a hat, a spoon - a bed, a barrel - a barrel, a cat - a basket, etc.
__________

And also legendary:
"Take care of the sunset! Wear hats and shoes!"

Before you become a Doctor Who, you have to become a Candidate Who!

You want to laugh?
When I served in the Estonian army, there was a case, Estonia gave Latvia... a written haubice (da-da ONE), and you know why?
A year earlier, Latvia borrowed a tank to Estonia to conduct the exercises (one that drives but does not shoot, the second one that shoots but does not drive, I did not borrow... I seriously).

I found my brother’s old school piece in the warehouse. It became interesting how the younger generation perceives the surrounding world and classical literature. I start reading, first line: “Taras and Bulba were brothers...”
When he got out of the table, he decided to read it to the end. Learned a lot of new things, for example, that the bad brother was called Taras, and Bulba was a hero in the Cossacks, that the father killed the first for an out-of-marriage child, and the second was killed by the other grandmother and grandfather of the illegally born, for which the father later avenged them... a Mexican series, a mill... poor Gogol...

Hello to you, Matumba. Today you just conquered all the experts on the program "Battle of Cookers", I evaluated your fried shurshmail myself - it is wonderful. Share the secret of how you manage to cook so delicious, using only a boiler and a spoonful?
and ghosts. The spirits tell Matumba what to do.
Do the spirits want to say something to our viewers?
The spirits say, O miserable descendants of the human race, who have made themselves rulers of the earth! Children playing on the cover of the tomb of what once ruled the universe! It is still alive, an evil generation of the Ancient Times, and it will soon awaken! Cry, shake, for your rock is terrible. By the way, the perfume told Matumba to press two fresh cobras into your food.
I think I need a doctor urgently...
It will not help. The spirits said to Matumba, “Kill the Doctor first.”

About "positive traumatologists" remembered.
I broke my leg two years ago on an empty ice (a small beetle with a shift), 2.5 months in a plaster, it did not grow, I already thought of putting spikes and plates, here, finally, I come with a control X-ray, the doctor looks, says, and, well, it is noticeable that it started to grow, let’s have another week, and remove the plaster. I’m surprised, I’m so used to it.
How to remove gips? Can I direct?
- Yes Yes
Will there be nothing? Does not break?
What the doctor answers to me with the absolute pokerface:
It won’t break unless you get under the car.
All, only went on the green and only on the pedestrian crossings.

The GOST is legally approved Feng Shui!

Yesterday I finally learned why the USSR collapsed. A man of fifty years confidently proved to a saleswoman in a barbecue that the country had collapsed (literally): "And all the women are to blame! They wanted to wear foreigners instead of Soviet cowards. That is what it is!"