bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104922
 02.11.2014
Marat: Why have scientists not yet produced such a GMO card that restructures the brain so that it begins to praise GMO food?
Zloradskij: We have tried. The potato after three weeks of unsuccessful brain searches spit and deserted.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104921
 02.11.2014
I study in Germany. We went to the university on Saturday evening with a friend to test the experiments. Go through the forest to breathe fresh air. It darkened. We chose the wrong path and realized we were not going there. The lights appeared at the meeting. I have already come up with a phrase like going to the locals and asking the road, but they greeted us: "Good evening! Who else could be met in the dark forest of Germany?! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104920
 02.11.2014
Tacita, that is, a quote, from November 1, 2013:

In the last three years, the main sign of the New Year has not been the smell of mandarins, not the festive incentive, but the gas conflict with Ukraine. So you will hear in the news "gas, payment, Ukraine"- and you will meet the New Year soon!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104919
 02.11.2014
Xxx
One of the most mysterious things for me is the split washing buttons at the toilets. They are often found in public places.
The big button is big because it is responsible for the greater flow of water (and it has to be pressed when the bigger went down), or, on the contrary, it was made so that in more frequent operations - addressing the small need - people were more comfortable to press on it?
At the time of the hole-in-a-half there was no such difficulty :(
Zzz
The two buttons are a symbol of democracy, as if saying that not everything is predetermined, and that you yourself, as a representative of modern democratic society, are free to decide the fate of your shit, namely the speed of its movement along the sewage waters.
However, as in any modern democracy, the details and mechanisms of how it works, no one understands but the main thing is what the concept is.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104918
 02.11.2014
A little later this year

The head of the company N, the father of three children, has publicly apologized for the fact that he does not seem to be quite gay.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104917
 02.11.2014
to this:
P.S You are not a troll and you are a minor, trolling is when you get people out of your mind with a smart thought, and not when you try to get rid of the shit with a troll.
------------
Well, even if someone tried to separate the fly from the cocklet, thank you for defining the troll.
It is a pity that there has not been a ready-made recipe for seeding deer from the resource.
With quality trolls it would be much more interesting to live.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104916
 01.11.2014
When my wife suddenly approaches me, hugs, kisses and says, “You know how much I love you?“I’m getting scared. The car? The betrayal? The credit? Called to live?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104915
 01.11.2014
Discussions about the settlement of various fish to axolots:
XXX: my frog has bitten my leg - a frog.
But the lap grew, and the frog moved.
And my girlfriend moved (with a frog).
Then I realized that no more frogs would live with me.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №104914
 01.11.2014
M: I’m going to talk to Wassermann – what questions can I ask him?
Are you interested in the life of Anatoly Wassermann?
N: "What do you have in your third upper left inner back pocket?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104913
 01.11.2014
From the comments to the post "Tax began to check large expenses of Russians
Large purchases without official income can turn into tax payments."

- a "sugging" - how to declare it? To form as an IP and issue an act of performed work, a receipt order under a draft? I have to pay 13% to the state. ? How many unemployed people are driving on kajenas and beeches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104912
 01.11.2014
I begin to press for pity, the director forces teachers to collect money from parents, I offer help in the form of a request to the prosecutor’s office for illegal actions by the director, and I ask to act as a witness, the teacher lost the gift of speech from my greed apparently....but no more money is asked and the statement to the prosecutor’s office was asked not to write, because the director was old and soon retired.
— — —
The usual system of "vertical power", in which everyone makes a scam (extortion of money, moulding at elections, going to a rally in support of what is most upset, signing collective letters to shoot the enemies of the people like angry dogs, not even out of fear of a scam from the director, and not to put the director, who is so good... The scales are somewhere in an indefinite height and clear FIOs do not have. And at the very top someone, probably, good and fair, just can’t he alone fix it all.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №104911
 01.11.2014
The knowledgeable:
I used to joke about small members of big car owners. But the time passed, I learned how to make money and realized: no, men, this is not their little member, it is you poor men.
and----
What do you earn if you know their size? and ;)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104910
 01.11.2014
Sleep is the strongest drug. Dumb cuts for a few hours and sometimes offgenic glucose.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104909
 01.11.2014
With which, it is asked, the purpose is to try to care for children, which are guaranteed
Are they disabled / disabled etc? Half and quarters of humans all their not very long lives all the way burden both their parents and (indirectly) taxpayers? What is the percentage of great and talented in this category "people"?
-----------

Man is a social animal. And that’s what made him the most successful organism in his class. No predator stands against the tribe of men. The tribe needs their support. Feed the useless old people, they will teach you what you do not know. To contain painful children - will come up with such, fire, for example, to use. Interestingly, societies with eugenic preferences have not survived to our days.
But here are the examples you wanted: Da Vinci and Isaac Newton were born premature. Kant is painful from birth. Helmholtz was born with a watermelon and spent his entire childhood in bed. Julius Caesar and Fyodor Dostoevsky are epileptics. Einstein, Goethe, Diesel, Dickens had all the signs of schizoid psychopathy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104908
 01.11.2014
Phoenix: You know, Otto and I have a pure and tender love for centuries.
Phoenix: Because if we break up... in general, we have too much compromise on each other.
by Otto Hayaa. being together in this case is much safer)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104907
 01.11.2014
yyy: I have a girlfriend, she is 19 years old now, so she just wrote me a sms to the old meeting number and waited for me 3 hours on the street, and after six months she didn't talk to me.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104906
 01.11.2014
I just recently learned that Elijah Wood starred in one film with Sasha Gray.
222: What is the name of the film?
"The Hobbit: There and Back" :DD

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104905
 01.11.2014
> Maria Gavrilovna of "The Butterfly" Pushkin was already young: "She was in her 20th year."
Juliet’s mother at the time of the events described in the play was 28 years old. Juliet is 14.
The Balzac age, the time of a woman’s decay, came at 30 years old.
Ivan Susanin at the time of the feat was 32 years old (he had a 16-year-old daughter at the time of extradition).
Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” was 42 years old.
Anna Karenina at the time of death was 28 years old, Vronsky - 23 years old, the old husband of Anna Karenina - 48 years old.
Cardinal Richelieu was 42 years old at the time of the siege of the La Rochelle fortress described in The Three Musketeers.
But here is the phrase from the notes of the 16-year-old Pushkin: "A 30-year-old man entered the room" (it was Karamzin)

Pushkin was born in 1799. Karamzin in 1766... And when did Pushkin see 30-year-old Karamzin, 3 years before his birth?
Regarding the old woman in the novel, the direct text says that she was about 60 years old.
Other "facts" about the same degree of persistence

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104904
 01.11.2014
>>>>>>>>>>>>
In the fairy tale “The Claw of the Rye” is told about the creation and destruction of the world, about the fact that people because of the fact that they wanted to depart from the truth (to break the egg, that is, the world), were deprived of a happy life (the golden egg) and got the ordinary.
<<<<<<<<<<<
Thank you dear man. Finally someone found out the true morality of this story. Really very thank you. I was enlightened by darkness.
Serena, 43 years old

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104903
 01.11.2014
I have worked as a mathematics teacher for 20 years. And this year for the first time I read in the notebook of the 9-class student "PRIPERBOLA" and it wasn’t a joke.

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