I saw a cat in the store today.

I go into the store and see a cat sitting at the entrance. Approaching him I raise my hand in front of him and commandfully say: "Cat". He turns his head and looks at my hand, I stand for a few seconds and leave. And the cat still looks to the place where the hand was... I think it will pass. I went and bought what I needed, I wept and who still sits and doesn’t move... I pass by the cat, again I raise my hand and say even more powerful: Cat. And the cat really lived and ran away!!! You would see the seller’s eyes)))

We decided to take a cat from the street to the adult home. In the evening, he guessed under the table and covered the case with a passport application.

From Asha

The Turkish:
Did they say you were a shit?

and Foma:
Notice the obvious.

The Turkish:
It is not so

and Foma:
Now I am intrigued)

All things are in one (Abraham).
Everything is love (Jesus Christ).
Everything is Sex (Zigmund Freud)
Everything is economics (Carl Marx)
Everything is relative (Albert Einstein)
And then then?

Yyy: Everything is Everything (Captain Evidence)

It is not all gold that shines!
XXX: Not all the cats that scream!)))

Recently, my friend picked up clothes for laundry. Seeing his neighbor’s coat around the apartment, he asks her, “Mash, this wash, well, how about him,... he... well, your home coat?”

A series of reservations.
Earlier in the morning, my favorite sleeping room, not sleeping, we sit in the car waiting for it to warm up.
She: What to do...
I am a dirty car, you can wash it.)
Noah, if you give me a bucket...
Oh oh what...
Meaning of water.
I was crying...

A man in contact:
I am looking for a girl wishfully from I am in the age of 16-23 years but not more than 65kg I will not lift anymore and if I go up then we will crumble)))

Yesterday I went to the ATM to take money. They are not, as usual, the checks are not printed (because the tape is over). I took the card, I was going to leave, but I saw the advertisement: "We removed everything!" on such a joyful background =)
Mailz: AGA) Removed money and checklist: Everything is done correctly!

<Destructor> You never guess with them.
I was happy that my daughter finally got off the diet, and it turned out, fucking, she was pregnant.

A 4 year old boy asked his grandfather yesterday:
Grandpa, what size are you?
D: 174 centimeters
Q: How much do you weigh?
D: 75 kg
Q: How much is it in rubles?

Scroll: Why, in the author’s understanding, “computer wallpapers” are necessarily photographs of some wires mixed with microchips? There is no real computer wallpaper.
O'neell: What do you think of "real computer wallpapers"?
Scroll: Well, for example, a penguin eating an apple on the tomb of Bill Gates...

It is time to advertise for employee search.
"A puzzle distributor is needed. The Requirements:
- the ability to work with people of the psychotype "used contraceptive (in ordinary people - ended hondon)"
Ability to clearly, quickly and clearly explain tasks
Knowledge of non-normative lexicons
- the ability, if necessary, to send the fox in such a way that the person finds the way and does not get lost
Experience working with difficult teens, as well as in places not so remote is welcome.

Prep about the United States:
What can we expect from a country whose declaration of independence is drunk on hemp paper?

xxx> and here’s what’s curious: most of those who write "only in our country...", have never been outside of it!...

FoBoS: And the driver of our small trolleybus when chased out went out into the salon and shouted to them "kish fucking...", and then said that the trolleybus is still driving and so thinly said "oh fucking" and ran back))

A neighbor’s friend told me:

There will be democracy, I said.

At the very beginning, according to tradition, the so-called conference. A girl with her dad came on stage. Read expressively all formal information, about the rector, pro-rector, jury. Then went to the "box, which stands at the exit and in which, if you liked the performance you can drop your ticket..." Further it was necessary to say that the "faculty, which received the most votes..." Instead, the girl, mixing the words "who picked up" and "the greatest" issued the great phrase: "Faculty THE LOWEST..." The hall for a minute reared from laughter, and not immediately calmed down. In short, the "conference" turned into a warm-up! Just unforgettable! X-D

The boss came to the director:
Where is he?
At the lunch!
How much can I eat? He ate yesterday, he ate today, he ate every day?! to
0 O O

Case in medical school. Group of Pediatricians. The English language. One student long argued with the teacher why doctors need English. Her most convincing argument was: “Here you go on the street, a stranger falls, and how will you help him if you don’t know what and where he’s hurt?”
The student responds so sadly: “We are pediatricians, our children don’t talk at all.”