bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №89980
 21.11.2013
>VTF, I just don’t understand what "ukulele" is?

You are one of those who find it harder to google than to add a quote and enter a drop.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №89979
 21.11.2013
A fucking job, a fucking office, a fucking bureaucracy, a fucking life. How to thank me for the service - so all the bottles are pulled, liters and the price of thousands from five. And as you go with this bottle to another unit to the workers to help quickly and without hemorrhoids with agreements - so looks at you a healthy sober pumped guy and says, say, "Name Bareketovich, don't need - we would be better with cash, five hundred points more than enough."
A quarter of the salary is divided by five hundred points.
XHH: But in the office, fool, alcohol market can be opened.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89978
 20.11.2013
How is it?
I am in depression.
What is?
- Here you choose a vacancy site with a job, send your resume, and also print an accompaniment to it, in which you lick the glands in a thin lust and colorfully write what you are, and then you come: "We considered your resume, but unfortunately you are forced to refuse. Your resume has been added to our database, and when a suitable job appears, we will contact you.” So I want to answer, “I don’t hold evil on you. Go with peace. But to the fucking :) Why is there no such function? :’ (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №89977
 20.11.2013
This is:

What are you, people so boundlessly limited in development, a flock of millions of idiots and mentally inferior, lazy, underdeveloped pupils of Russian education headed by your leader Drishchenko?? to

Are you stupid at all? Go teach lessons, Rosenthal is undercovered.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №89976
 20.11.2013
It was now at the parental gathering, where for an hour we (parents) had a court statement about how to live, that we should not have debts for ourselves and our children, etc.

Her crown phrase: "Unfortunately we still live in a rule of law..."

After that I could not listen anymore.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №89975
 20.11.2013
A colleague just issued:
And you know that every 10 million years our Earth... revolves!
- O_O O_O O_O O_O
And gradually going up! There is a freezing of the ice and eventually the North Pole becomes heavier. There is a planetary revolution.
He had to reassure him with the theme that down, on the South Pole, sleep also grows and they balance each other, not allowing the Earth to turn over.

Turn off TV3! This phimosis of the brain spreads from there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №89974
 20.11.2013
Rostov anti-corruption fighter arrested for bribery of 2.5 million rubles

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89973
 20.11.2013
Xelbyb_WW: Even if you know fifteen foreign languages, Russian you still need. Fall down or drop something heavy on your foot.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №89972
 20.11.2013
Skolkov scientists have derived the formula of the movement of the enot at supersonic speed in an acidic environment and, if unnecessary, will apply it to calculate pensions.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №89971
 20.11.2013
By the way, I understand very well why the Stark fell first. Because, imagine, all people are like people. This is normal Middle Ages. Wear a colt, drink wine, take a fortress, kill the enemy and smash him in the skull. Targaryens are blood, shashlies! Barateons are not swords, so write. Lannister, we will pay you. The vineyard flows, the blood sheds, the babies are naked and very naked, dragons, wolves, all fucking, everyone has fun. And in the midst of all this, the Starks are sitting and shouting from the balcony like patties-killers - Vadik, Vadik, put on a hat, winter is near!! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №89970
 20.11.2013
Who would have guessed that in the 21st century the news tape would start like this:
Christians advocate the abolition of the second law of thermodynamics

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №89969
 20.11.2013
From Habr about Flying Robots:
AAA: In the event of an accident, no traffic jams are formed.
BBB: However, rainfall is formed in the form of debris and farce

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89968
 20.11.2013
I got a text message, something like "You have a job, maybe a combination. and call. Maxim Alexanderovich tel....". I was so caught by SMS spammers that I answered "Go to X*y Maxim Alexandrovich" and added to the blacklist. Today I go to hh, look, and there is one resume. I thought.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №89967
 20.11.2013
"...The state needs more debt..."
I had a chain in my head:
"We need a lot more!"
"We need to build a university"
"We need a lot more!"
"We need to build a building"
"The study is completed!"

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89966
 20.11.2013
here here :
xxx: A familiar helicopter was called from a cellular company and asked how it happened that he moved on the MKADU at a speed of 180 km / h at the peak hour. He has explained. We said no, we probably won’t use your cell phone to monitor traffic jams.

I’m sorry that’s not funny, but I think they wasted.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №89965
 20.11.2013
Yesterday I found a hole at home - 2000. today I lost 100. What is this, commission?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №89964
 20.11.2013
From corporate mail:

Who brought into the dining room a flower like two micro-palms?
Natalia Arkadievna (our cleaning manager) is interested in how to take care of him.

We ask the responsible person who has favored our office with this representative of the alternative form of development, or simply a knowledgeable person, to respond.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89963
 20.11.2013
Guys, we have been revealed! by Rico! Remove this:
>>I don’t understand why everyone pulls up some pony, and forgets about such cool and heroic penguins from Madagascar?

Let’s smile and make up =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №89962
 20.11.2013
[17:05:58] Vladimir: yeah, fuck the contact so many jets of promptness!
[17:06:01] Vladimir: the boshrg I respect
Fuck you, you’re at work too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №89961
 20.11.2013
by Galileo:
And somewhere my colleagues from Aska did not go — neither People nor Sony.

The smoke:
You are not lucky. The insomnia and insomnia :)

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