bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146478
 15.11.2017
We go shopping with my wife. We have come to the tomatoes, and for those we need, there are no valuables. Everyone around came out - no sellers, no valuers. I take the tomato in a joke, show it to the surveillance camera and say as clearly as possible, “What is the price?“”
Within a couple of seconds, a loud communication to the entire store clearly whispered with a voice: "119 rubles 99 copies."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146477
 15.11.2017
How to improve health care in Russia? and simply. Let Medacademies graduates treat their teachers for the first three years.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146476
 15.11.2017
For the first time in 60 years, the Italian national team failed to participate in the World Cup in football.

The Ministry of Sports of the Russian Federation said that Russia (and its hackers) are not involved!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146475
 15.11.2017
I can’t go past Freud’s reservation:
– is
Baseball Medical
>> About the medical mask. If it is worn on the patient, the infection settles from the mouth and nose and within an hour the patient receives an additional infection when inhaled.
– is
You can think of the virus in the mucus, which inside and so on in excess, it is somehow critical. The level of the therapist with such advice (and do not go to the guess, the preparations of the Fuflomycin series in the prescription, starting with Tylorone and Arbilod) is understandable, BUT.
You just have to change the mask.
And yes, a good mask (from 3m for example) perfectly delays everything that flies outside and more dimensional than HERA (High Efficiency Particulate Air), and not bad everything that flies from inside.

– is
The size of the hero is five. HEPA is now)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146474
 15.11.2017
I brought the programmer. I go to him now. He is looking at me and his eyes are turning.
and AHA. And the third.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146473
 15.11.2017
My head is clear today

>> Ice (obsolete synonym - ice) - increasing atmospheric precipitation in the form of a layer of dense glass ice.

Gololédisca - a layer of bushy ice (ice crust) or frozen snow formed on the surface of the earth.

Here is! And I thought it was like a border and a rebarber...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146472
 15.11.2017
In Icarus, you can’t ride in the heat. The wax

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146471
 15.11.2017
Chemistry and life

> Which side of the family to clean up?

In vain you are so. The more alkaline the composition of the family, the more efficient the cleaning. When the balance shifts to the acid side, cleaning does not occur at all. Quase...

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146470
 15.11.2017
The older cats brought home a cat from a walk. First they decided that he has a bug in the firmware - if you start playing with him, he begins to murmur and doesn't stop, even if you've been away a long time, and he's all chasing the ball. every time.
I had to call him Phoebe.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №146469
 15.11.2017
In fact, we try very hard to pretend that we are a normal family. But when a three-year-old child instead of "dull" says "alternative twisting of the jaw", others begin to suspect something...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146468
 15.11.2017
My former colleague on one of the first dates with a guy ordered food from a restaurant. This event was shut down so that he didn’t realize that she couldn’t cook.

And after some time, a colleague left the guy because through the third hand learned that he was married and six months as in a divorce, but did not say right away.

All this was accompanied by the phrase: I don’t want our relationship to start with a lie.

She saw no contradiction anywhere.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146467
 15.11.2017
I am standing waiting for the elevator.

A man comes in.

The elevator arrives, he enters first.

Which of you...? I say

The fifth! He presses the button himself.

We go...

The Fifth.

I go out because I am at the door to miss.

The man presses the button and goes upstairs with an indiscriminate fucking.

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146466
 15.11.2017
NNM
Article about the fact that they will be paying 100 rubles for the report on drivers who dump garbage from the window.

Reptilexxl: Where is the infusion now?! to

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146465
 14.11.2017
The virus particle is several dozen nanometers in size and passes through the medical mask without delay. However, directly at the exit of the patient, viruses do not fly out in free form, but in the form of drops of saliva, sputum, nasal secretion, containing the virus, which are already easily delayed by the mask. In the air, these drops quickly dry out and break down, and the virus becomes free and unmatched. Therefore (and for a number of other reasons, including the fact that the mask generally works poorly as an anti-dust respirator), the mask should be worn by the patient.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №146464
 14.11.2017
Normally, normal people buy apartments, it is the misery removed, if the case is indelible, then furnished with other people's furniture.
Poor people buy apartments, normal people live in their estate. Apartments are bought to the palace, who retires, some inexpensive trekking in Sadov or in Sochi.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146463
 14.11.2017
WOW: Yes, I still understand why the question arises about shooting glasses and araphates. But how does this strange man go to Ashan without a backpack?! to
Q: Is he driving in the car?
WOW is option. The only question is why then "mammy survivors"he has those with backpacks...
Thats a sach.
WOW: And the Berks, in general, normal semi-season shoes!
Sasha, have you been offended?
I have 4 km walk through the forest to Ashan. On one side. I’m not upset, I’m upset by someone’s immaturity x_X

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146462
 14.11.2017
With Stalin, he stood

> not only nursing informals, but a fairly large mass of the population began to dress badly.

Not the same as before, right? "In all colors of the rainbow - from brown to hachi".

Two grandparents are sitting under a tree. One says to the other: "You hear Petrovich, but I remember in my youth, you sit so to grind under a tree, and the eggs are brought to the ground. And the chase is not..." The second, crushes, perks, answers: "And do not say Semenich, the Earth has wandered, has wandered..."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146461
 14.11.2017
Yesterday my parents gave me a robot vacuum cleaner.
Today I sit at work and he receives a panic message: “I’m stuck and can’t get to the base. It is" Even an animal was sad.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146460
 14.11.2017
A person accustomed to the naturalness of Linux, where programmers write programs in the assumption that they will be used by programmers, in XCode is hard.
It seems to have been written by creative people for people no less creative. By the end of the working day, the stereotype of the non-traditional orientation of everyone who relates to Apple somehow begins to seem a holy truth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146459
 14.11.2017
I put three toys.
I decided to pursue the rally tracks.
Each of them contains a number of instructions.
Change the oil in time
2) Take care of the car
3) choose the appropriate tires, amortizers, stands, etc.
I feel like this is not enough in my life!!! to
The result: I changed all of the consumers, set up the suspension, went to sleep!

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