bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №56283
 11.11.2011
was in China. While there was a tour, a 3-year-old Chinese boy ran ahead of our group, roared loudly, rolled on the ground and talked about something on his own.
At our request, the guide translated, he spoke: "Ofigeet, all on one mouth, eyes like a cow!"

[ + 83 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56282
 11.11.2011
If I were a state, instead of warning inscriptions, I would simply force everyone to make cigarettes in the shape of a hook.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №56281
 11.11.2011
At the weddings of mathematicians, the first toast for newlyweds, the second for primary, the third for derivatives.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №56280
 11.11.2011
In the work:
Is it a X-ray?
The X-ray is dead. It was a long time ago :(

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56279
 11.11.2011
I dreamed that I called the system a processor.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №56278
 11.11.2011
The fac. There seems to be a serious bag in our coffee machine. When someone says ‘without sugar’, the sugar doesn’t fill up... but it is cashed for future issues. I had a half cup of sugar. From the series "will you add coffee to your sugar"? )

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №56277
 11.11.2011
Comments on the news where the missing girl returned home after 10 days:
XXX: Destroy her and under house arrest
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY There must be a belt.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56276
 11.11.2011
There are no official novels in Kazakhstan organizations, as they are all relatives to each other.

[ + 77 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56275
 11.11.2011
Our first child was born in Lusaka. A beautiful medal was issued "Born in Moscow", a birth certificate in a beautiful cover, a blank, a bottle, money paid some.
The second was born at Sobyanin. There were no medallions-coverings, but they gave 1 diaper, a bag of tea and a brochure about protection so that there were no more children! of Birth.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №56274
 11.11.2011
FinBladeS: Aftor, and why don’t you sleep a bastard!!!? to
I am waiting...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №56273
 11.11.2011
My mother is an accountant. The bank came on behalf of the office. And quickly the cashier-operationist (K) asks:
Q: Tell me just how much we have on the account now.
Q: Do you have a mate?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №56272
 11.11.2011
I love my office – one guy sings reggae in a voice, and knocks at the wall with enthusiasm, one girl wears men’s sports shorts and turns to the boss and another wears socks of different colors (this I know really, because in the office she takes off her ceds and walks barefoot)...

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №56271
 11.11.2011
It freezed until dawn.
Not sleeping with a drill.
He goes back somewhere and again.
The wind turns the whole house!
I know you are not far away.
But I hope you understand me!
Why are you running all night, lonely?
Why don’t you let people sleep?! to

The Home (C)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №56270
 11.11.2011
In the tenth time it is suggested to add 2 buttons:
"School detective" and "Make the author of the book"
) ) )

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №56269
 11.11.2011
About the dress code:

Especially ridiculous look in pants and jackets. They are directly opposed to this demonstrable intelligence. Here they are like the casual friends of the deceased – so much sorrow and hatred in their necklaces-suppressed faces.

(c) odry_hepdern fire

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №56268
 11.11.2011
XXX: what I do here is called smart "optimization of business processes"
XXX: In fact, I’m just walking from one to the other and asking them: “You, Scuco, are you going to work?” Yes to? When is it?"
XXX: fuck surprisingly and do something
That’s why I have the reputation of an effective manager here.
XXX: although 3/4 of the time I sit in the ZJ
YYY: We call it "leading specialist"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №56267
 11.11.2011
in the 2000s. There was a terrible phrase:"Harvestor under attack! Unit lost." for me personally ((

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №56266
 11.11.2011
About the puzzles:
...
...
Especially happy cats. Everyone can gather, but to gather so as to chew out what pieces the cats splashed, then find, understand from which they puzzle, smooth up the gathered so that it is not noticeable - this is the highest pilot.
So you can choose the level of difficulty: Newbie - no cats, Profi - let one cat, Master - let two cats. Guru (leaving cats in the room for the night)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №56265
 11.11.2011
Tisulka: Imagine, my mom from the city called me yesterday and asked, “I looked at you a beautiful penny. Buying?" Well what is a penny for me? This is a Chinese silk jacket for 350 rubles. In it and after the shower you can go out, and sleep to lie down and even late guests to meet... well I say: "buy". I open the bag and there... a prostitutes costume. No, well real, as in American films show: a transparent shrimp with rushes... in front of the rushes still poorly cover the most intimate, and behind nothing is covered with rushes or practically invisible strings. I dressed, I stood in front of the mirror, the most uncomfortable became...I think: "Well, I am not determined in life to appear before my husband in this form"...
Docha: And what, did you get the pack back?
Tisulka: Yeah, I bought him socks in the net today.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №56264
 10.11.2011
What would you feel if you had your head cut off?
Tagged: easy boredom

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