bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105362
 12.11.2014
We have a serious team of developers, but when it comes to meetings, then "OHY, ALL!"))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105361
 12.11.2014
When the boss has a problem with his cockroaches in his head, he starts checking his subordinates.

our began to make visits suddenly and selectively by the units (we are scattered around the city in a radius of a kilometer or two) at the very end of the working day or at the very beginning - to control the attendance, between the case looks at what someone on the PC screen, suddenly there is porn, not related to the workflow.

It is our turn.

And we made a scam to throw out unnecessary papers, found them signed the instructions on labor protection five years ago.
Here is a wonderful picture.
All employees of the branch sit, and the deputy reads them out loud the instructions.

To say that the boss came, means not to say anything.


[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105360
 12.11.2014
and Twitter:
The longer you postpone the search for the bride, the more doubtful the past of your wife will be.

[ + 30 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105359
 12.11.2014
Antifa: Communist blood-drinking streets retain their names
Thanks to the communist blood-drinkers, the capitalist blood-drinkers made unprecedented concessions to the working people. Without them, the author of the article would have now grumbled with chains, stuck to a machine, or burned in the stoves of Auschwitz. It was not the Democrats who saved Europe from fascism, but the Communists.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105358
 12.11.2014
But the union "of-under" really exists. In Chukovsky remember "Here needles and pins are pulled out of the counter".
— — — —
"Is-pod" is not an alliance, but a pretext. Do not teach people unless they have completed the school program themselves.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105357
 12.11.2014
And yet wisdom comes with experience... The new life does not begin with a trip to the gym, not with a change of work, not with marriage and not even with the birth of a child. The new life begins with the sudden and irreversible death of the hard disk.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105356
 12.11.2014
On October 28, any guy can offer a girl to date, but she has no right to refuse.

The comments:
YYY: Why is it suddenly?
Zzz: What a bug in the firmware...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №105355
 12.11.2014
DianaSmex (being at home): Scandals, intrigues, investigations. Viennese waffles are so seductive. Will they survive till evening? Time will show.

Darth Mignus (on the job): Eat it, Puppet. There are more biscuits for me.

DianaSmex: Our special correspondent came out on a waffle on biscuits. Will he be able to find the murderer? Do not switch.

Is that the answer to this overwhelming unnecessity?

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105354
 12.11.2014
First, this "episode" is a lie. Secondly, who, in your opinion, was the watt hero, who bombarded the German industry? The Aliens? A good Savetskaya YES, hardly flying to Königsberg?
>>>>
Wild children raised by British scientists.
Of course, it was a lie, because Keitel only talked about the French. Because he was very surprised that his surrender is accepted by the same pepper that was given to him five years ago.
Moreover, the Soviet DA flew to Berlin (they did not dare to turn to Konigsberg) in August 1941, and the brave allies bombed the German industry in the ground three (3) years later, when the SA could already dig the industry with its spikes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105353
 12.11.2014
My cousin is from the village. So he, when he was in our city for the first time in guests (he was then 7-8 years old), accompanied by his parents went straight to the elevator and, to their surprise, when the doors opened, began to take off his shoes and with the appearance of the deepest reverence he entered the elevator barefoot. Then the local grandmothers laughed at him, and the earth blew them. Although he now denies that this story had taken place. But this topic avoids it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105352
 12.11.2014
Maelinhon: I came up with the new Ewau rule.
Whatever stamp you allow in the search, the Chinese have already done something with this name.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №105351
 12.11.2014
I found one of the resources for the sale of cats:
Lovely Siberian cat 5 months.General characteristics: Cat SBK2014MR. Pure assembly, foamy gray-smoked body, striped interface, built-in grinding mechanism, there is a morning grinding function.The model is completely fine and tested on the model "band on rope".Additional features: Fuel can be used any, unpretentious. The "Toilet-wipes" function is ideally set, there is a "no single failure" achievement and "the best digger".
A wonderful model. She was in the technical department of the "vetklinik" and passed the necessary vaccinations by age. At the moment, milk teeth are being replaced with new teeth, so you will get a beautiful copy without the function "eat furniture"!!..." Damn, have you not bought it yet? =) is

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105350
 12.11.2014
Is Sperm a Useful Product? Can I swallow it?
This question was asked by a born man.

15 February 1999
Zzzz: Hhhh, better talk to your mom.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105349
 12.11.2014

here here :

My cousin is from the village. So he, when he was in our city for the first time in guests (he was then 7-8 years old), accompanied by his parents went straight to the elevator and, to their surprise, when the doors opened, began to take off his shoes and with the appearance of the deepest reverence he entered the elevator barefoot.

A wonderful story about the Japanese.
The history of Japanese railways began in 1872. On the first train Tokyo-Yokohama were invited all the senior ranks. Arriving in Yokohama, everyone without exception fell into a crash. The high-ranking persons invited to this celebration climbed into the wagons in the same way that the Japanese used to enter the house: before they stood on the foot, each of them mechanically rattled. When, after fifty-seven minutes, the admired gentlemen came down to Yokohama, they were surprised and irritated to find that no one had taken care of transporting and placing their shoes on the bench.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105348
 12.11.2014
Answer by mail.

Question: Pasha was able to catch Boryu when he ran away from him for 360 meters and caught him in 9 minutes. V is? m/min V bori -0.2 km/min

Answer: After consulting Liu Kang on this issue, we have come to the following conclusion.
First, if Boryukogd first ran away, and then followed him into the race, then either he plays badly in hiding, or in Pasha, the viewing angle of the visual organ is up to 360 degrees.
Secondly, the volume of Pasha should be presumably smaller than the volume of Borjukh, since he has caught him, therefore, he runs faster, and therefore he is a man more sporty than Borjukhog. Therefore, most likely, Boryukogg is a fat and sedentary subject with a mercantile and tiny mattress. Especially if they did not play in hiding, and Pasha first waited for Boryukogg to flee, it means that he either wanted to torture or gave the forum, which confirms the assumption of the uselessness of Boryukogg as a person in this cruel life.
Third, if the volume of the third character is minus 200 meters per minute, then there are two variants. The first: the battle disappeared from our world as soon as it appeared. The second: Borya lives in four-dimensional space and is able to change its volume to a negative value, which means it occupies a higher level in the universe hierarchy than we do. Therefore, most likely his name is written with a small letter. And probably also, his name should not be pronounced outright.
I hope I have answered all your questions.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №105347
 12.11.2014
xxx: to answer as an artist, is it performance or instolacee?
YYY is installation. The spectator gets the result. Performance is an important process.
First knocking at a neighbor’s door and then ringing at the door is an installation, and first knocking at the door, and then, when they open, sitting down to fuck is a performance.
Zzz: And if you are singing during the process of defecation, and the neighbor is dancing and singing to you, then it's hatching.
yyy: and if the noise and smell start to look and other neighbors, and we will all get acquainted, then it will be - event

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №105346
 12.11.2014
There are only two poses in sex: either you or you!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105345
 12.11.2014
An old grandfather comes to me.
I: What disturbs you?
D: (opening the mouth) The roots in the throat hurt.
I (proving not to laugh or ask clarification questions) How do I hurt?
D is pregnant.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105344
 12.11.2014
One employee dreamingly says that she recently drank coffee with an unusually delicious taste... but how it was called, she does not remember.
Everyone began to offer her options: espresso, cappuccino and other names... no, no, no...
The girl is happy! hot chocolate!! to
_______________________________________________________
There is one. We are sold at the buffet.
On the bag is written “Hot Chocolate” large, and below in small letters “Coffee soluble”.
I even brought home my husband to show, I did not believe the word. Coffee was delicious, by the way.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105343
 12.11.2014
from the forum. Theme of the pharmacy. Who else carries anything with him?
PPL1402 and Sialex!!! and what? And suddenly? = = )
Finn is Espumizan! Suddenly, there is only a puck.

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