bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №39821
 05.12.2010
-Romka, how to get to the cinema studio in Weiss City?
Where are you now?
at the estate. and :)
You turn it back to the estate, you drive to the left to the foothold, turn to the right, go to the foothold, then at the meeting, left remains the fire department, up to the foothold, then right to the bridge, and there the first turn to the right, opposite the house, which from the helicopter bombarded. It looks like :D
and Figase! You know your hometown!
Fuck... I am fucking!

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39820
 05.12.2010
I met a girl through "Asked, seen, loved"
On the same day we met, I don't know if it was opened up - but we are already sitting with a friend, drinking.
In the conversation, she made it clear that she was not a joke, with whom she got into bed not to go to bed and in general very even a decent girl, almost a girl.

I: You hear, you have a piercing on your tongue, right?
She: Yes and what?
I: I’ve never kissed a girl who has a piercing on the tongue, interesting like this.
She: Do you want to try?

Within a few minutes there is sexual intercourse, on all pairs. In the process, I find out that she doesn’t have that, and she isn’t, and the last time she had sex was 10 days ago, in the car with a guy. whom she saw for the first and last time.
I kind of automatically put my hands under her T-shirt... and here she gives out with an outraged expression of her face:
"Don’t look at me!and "

O_O

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №39819
 05.12.2010
There is such an opinion that in the future Vkontakte everyone will be friends of everyone, and on Wikipedia articles will consist only of links.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №39818
 05.12.2010
Stephan: What about you?

Mick: I broke up yesterday.

Stephan: Yeah... what are you?

Mikmak: Niche did not predict trouble, but I took it and stumbled.

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39817
 05.12.2010
12 nights, ended vodka.but want a friend go in the night (type, and suddenly sold) dialogue p-seller d-friend
Sold the vodka
down after 9
D is needed.
P.S. The type of purchase.
Phenomenally, let me breathe.
I have a drink of vodka ?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №39816
 05.12.2010
From the forum:
Nomad: I once heard that you can shave a towel and then after a while a new one will grow, but not so hard, well, like the first time.
Is it true?
PS : Yes! I tried it myself, the new towel grows silky, only a little curly =)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39815
 05.12.2010
News of 9 Russian channel Israel about the fire:

The dictator speaks to the Hebrew-speaking inhabitant of Haifa through an interpreter.

leading 9 channel (in Russian) - we hope that you will cope with the fire and everything will be fine
translator 9 channel synchronously in Hebrew - toda in bay (thank you so far)
The leader, yes, I said about that.
translator (forgot to turn off the microphone) - and you go less

The curtain. and advertising.

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №39814
 05.12.2010
Prayer is not the contact of man with God, but the absence of contact of man with man.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39813
 05.12.2010
Time is changing, our great and powerful Russian language is changing. I hadn’t thought about this before...
My friend is a librarian at school. My son is more interested in computers than in studying, as many people do now. Here, after another pair of literature, he was expelled from the comp and sent to read "Captain's Daughter" with a subsequent review. I have read. I came to tell. At first, everything is fine, but now comes the second chapter. I quote: "And then they were driving in the steppe, there was a meltdown, the road was slow, they were lost. They began to freeze.
But then we met Gea...” Mother in a slight shock: – Who? Son: “Well, Gaia, blue, but he was a good man, he showed them the way...” Mom grabbed the heart and the book. All by Pushkin. Heroes go to the mouthpiece on the steppe, lose the road, and then a man appears in the mouthpiece (Pugachev) and they turn to him: "Hey! A good man!”

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39812
 05.12.2010
Adulthood is when you go on the frost without a hat and feel like you are not cool, but dumb!

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39811
 05.12.2010
Prime Minister of the state of New South Wales (Australia) Christina Kennedy received minor injuries, falling from the bicycle on which she was going to work: the vehicle suddenly crashed the steering wheel. (The Daily Telegraph)
And you say, car, car...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №39810
 05.12.2010
craZy17: Here’s how it was in the army:
craZy17: Oops! The Lunch. Half a day has passed.
Crazy17: How is it at home? Lunch is already. To get up...?
CRAZY17: What about at work? In the mouth of my feet! Just for lunch...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №39809
 05.12.2010
Put me in. Saga

The film takes place in a snowy suburb of New Mexico, where 12-year-old boy Owen lives. One day in the dark Owen meets his new neighbor, Abby, but he doesn’t even know that his first love, the innocent neighbor’s girl, is actually a vampire.

Change of roles...

Now the girl will ride on the back of the boy!!! to

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39808
 05.12.2010
A month ago, when I was sick, the girls planted grapes. I just got to him now. He is tasty. But after some grapes I want to eat.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39807
 05.12.2010
I am losing contact with the world.
I think he will not be offended.

[ + 117 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39806
 05.12.2010
Dear comrades of mint, garbage, etc.
Since you are now not a police officer and a police officer, the above words are not offensive to you, therefore we can call you so in all hearing and you should not be offended.
The following words are offensive to you:
The Pharaoh, the Pharaoh and the Prophet.
I hope they don’t forget. he = )

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №39805
 05.12.2010
In the city of Nikolaev (Ukraine) there is a Black Sea Shipbuilding Factory, and this factory sent in a business trip to Moscow in the mid-1980s three crendels with totally normal surnames, only a telegram was given as follows:
We have completed the assignment, we leave 23. Black and Ukrainian. Kaban

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №39804
 05.12.2010
Alcohol destroys our society
YYY: Fucking our society is destroying

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №39803
 05.12.2010
1 – Reporting
2 is a magic word.
1 – ASIO report

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39802
 05.12.2010
from Google

Is it possible to get pregnant after the bath?

After the bath, no. After the sauna.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna