bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106414
 06.12.2014
A friend took a notepad for repair running, and on the desktop a folder with the name "Luke, I am your folder" I love my friends :-)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106413
 06.12.2014
Add to sex:
The joke:
The wife gives birth to a red baby and begs the midwife to come up with something, as there were no reds in the family. The doctor calls her husband and asks:
How often do you have sex with your wife?
Once every two months.
Look at what you did with your roasted shit!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106412
 06.12.2014
The Prime Minister attended the exhibition today. Exhibition on the 1st floor, we are on the 3rd.
What kind of people? I went out of the window to a second person in the state, and I got some ugly from the top in the eye with a laser clue shining!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106411
 06.12.2014
From Habr.

Nidaylokn: Even if the elevator's wires break, it won't fall.
MrPeterLink: But from the sharp operation of the hunters, the bottom can break away.
Ayahuaska: But overall the elevator will be whole! (They are :

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106410
 05.12.2014
xxx> fuck me here guy tries to introduce his girlfriend's girlfriend
xxx> judging by how hard he does it, he may not be given because of me
xxx> girlfriend nothing like that, cute enough, except a little bit inclined to fullness
but the most scary is not this, but the avatar of her brother (photo of a harsh man with a gun)
yyy> will have to get married
xxx and gt. Who knows how many of her previous unsuccessful attempts to organize a family life are now scattered along the surrounding tracks.
yyy> this is a simple masterpiece ))

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106409
 05.12.2014
I ordered the calculation:
Square with a section of 92 x 117 mm length of 700 mm - 15 pieces
Circle f 150 mm long 700 mm 2 pieces. Please indicate the price and time ".

I told him I wanted to see the drawing. You need to look at the curvature of space and the fourth dimension at least once in your life.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №106408
 05.12.2014
In my personal opinion, forcing me to pay for being able to download content from the Internet on the basis that I have access is the same as accusing me of the possibility of rape on the basis that I have a member.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №106407
 05.12.2014
Why live with an impotent goat? I answer. Because he is a wonderful caring father and husband. I can’t imagine a night without talking to him. Because he earns and his contribution to the budget is very tangible. He is also smart and kind. A good man doesn’t even want to change. And sex – well, I have a vibrator.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №106406
 05.12.2014
Remember the appearance is the most important thing. Yes, if you are a moral fool for a long time, you will not have girls, but they will have you. If you’re just ugly, you won’t even have a "simply jerk".

Boy, it’s not all so clear. Of course, appearance means a lot (instincts, hole), but have you never seen girls with steep guys? And they are.
In school and at the academy, I had the nickname "Goblin" - believe me, there is no joy in the mirror. But the girls were, and in the fourth grade I married the most beautiful girl of the group, to which I was locked when I heard her phrase to a friend (she thought I didn’t hear) "How someone meets him I don’t understand!".
You just don’t look at the girl through the eyes of a hungry puppy – the girl (even if she herself wants the cowards to burn up) doesn’t feel pleasant to be a piece of meat on which only some steep cake has stumbled out to finally squeeze somewhere. Teach yourself to stay clean, clean, beautifully dressed, pleasantly smelling. Develop the skills of communication, do not sit at home, go to the company, look at the behavior of the "successful" and analyze what you can repeat successfully. Learn to play guitar, create a successful rock band, write poems and songs. Buy a camera and learn to photograph at least minimally easily, arrange free new photo sessions. In general, if you decide to get seriously out because of a comp with a collection of porn - it will all be.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106405
 05.12.2014
X: Can you look at what mountain ski bases we have in the country?
YYY: Okay, what are the price limits?
XXX is free.
YYY: It is clear. And the maximum?
XXX is the maximum.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106404
 05.12.2014
22 tons of Swiss hearts and languages were detained in the port of St. Petersburg.

The commentary:
Lenočka: The Swiss sent us their hearts, with love, probably)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106403
 05.12.2014
About the automatic water supply valve

X: Calling a water supplier? To turn two tubes? Are you serious? A maximum of half an hour, with a very large stock.
YYY: I would ask you! You are now insulting the feelings of handicaps!

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106402
 05.12.2014
Oh, it has already been! Time-tested answer: what does a raped woman lose?

A small piece of health. In the best case, mental. At worst, it is also physical. In the worst - life (more than a month held a raped girlfriend from suicide. The desire to commit suicide has gone, but strangers are afraid for the third year.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106401
 05.12.2014
I had to move the closet away because there were mice behind it. Kosh went to Narnia.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106400
 05.12.2014
The most popular name among newborn boys in the United Kingdom is Mohammed, according to the British company BabyCentre, which regularly publishes relevant statistics. Previously, this name was considered the most popular in London, but now it has been able to reach the leading positions in the country as a whole.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №106399
 05.12.2014
I appeal to you, the bearded gods of servers and local networks, the owners of a dirty circle and a bundled sweater. Go back to this resource and drive these schoolchildren and Wikipedia masters, couch politicians and all the stupid idiots who ask their annoyed questions here more often than on mail.ru. Disable access to the resource operators "Post of Russia" and "Sberbank" and you will immediately see how the queues will start to move. The cat! by Odin! Schröder!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106398
 05.12.2014
One of the posts in the "Listened" of the native institute and the first comments:
It seems that the cult masses use heroin, and otherwise how to explain the henna that they invented for a week of myth. From 8 to 13 December I will not appear in the universe.
The Institute will lose a lot when you don’t come.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Five days without a director.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106397
 05.12.2014
The former botanist:

For a large number of women the brain
Men (if there is, of course) are his most sexually attractive part of the body.

--------

Listen to more women. In reality, this is usually only a big plus to everything else (especially external qualities). With respect, the botanist, who began to go to the gym that year.

___________________

From a young man, you really are not a fool.
But look on the other hand, this appearance is a big plus to the brains, because it is easier to see them in a beautiful package, but just a package without content is not needed.
The one who wrote the same comment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №106396
 05.12.2014
to this
___________________
xxx: he slipped on the linoleum today, fell down and said "Oh, you’re fucking fucking!"
XXX: I want to marry him.
__________________
Trained at home, traitor

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106395
 05.12.2014
This is:
Sold by 15976

You still don’t understand why heroes act in one way or another. Why did Catherine throw into the river?

Why was she lying on the train?

1,300 of approvals.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
What is wrong? Catherine died when she fell into the river. What is the mummy in your speech? You accidentally did not confuse Katerina from "Groza" Ostrovsky with Anna Karenina, the special you are our?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna