bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39681
 02.12.2010
I sit behind the compass, I don’t touch anyone.
The father comes in and asks: "Do you want a mandate?"
and throw in me a mandarin =(

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №39680
 02.12.2010
Because of the universe began problems with sleep.
Now in the morning I work on a clean machine.
I wake up and go to the kitchen where my father is eating breakfast.
I open the refrigerator and take an orange (which was always on the bottom shelf) I sit down at the table and start cleaning.
A: Is my son okay?
I:Pap, let me clean up the orange and eat it, and then immediately go to the universe.
The feeder gently takes the fruit from my hands, and insightfully asks:
Do you have to clean tomatoes?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №39679
 02.12.2010
I: The Gift
Quebec: Hello
Q: How is your brother’s life?
It’s not Cole, it’s his friend.
The right hand is right. :D
Cedbury: No
I: SCRATCH What is the Left?
Cedbury: No is it!
Q: Did you learn with your feet?
Quebec: Close up

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №39678
 02.12.2010
More about Chinese Savings

Ordinary dormitory... with sauna, bordell, casino and restaurants.

It is very difficult to find out in the labyrinths from the beds, the Chinese turned out to be wretched and skillfully hiding under the beds, on the beds and in the closets.

She locked herself in the toilet, and when the door was broken, she pretended to be dead.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №39677
 02.12.2010
Recalled in the topic:

The conversation between the two on the phone:
Hi, I have come! Where to go?
WOW: Where are you?
HH: I don’t know...
What do you see in front of you?
Oh my cat!! to

I found myself lost in the city:
What do you see in front of you?
- "The Big Bulb"

the feeling that the authors of the store name were just waiting for me to get lost)))

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №39676
 02.12.2010
The Habr. Google to buy Groupon for $6 billion

Q: 6 billion dollars? Seeing Google Groupon is necessary, here they are trading with them :)
I’ve never even heard of it before Google tried to buy Groupon.
Have you heard of Kyrgyzstan? The country’s annual budget is about $1.3 billion. Kyrgyzstan could be bought and governed there for five years. Annie, Nets, buy a site.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №39675
 02.12.2010
The paradox of women is that there is little space in the closet and nothing to wear.
The computer scientist's paradox: there is little free space on the screw and there is nothing to see.
The paradox of the cat: a lot of space in the apartment, there is nowhere to fall))

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39674
 02.12.2010
Yesterday and today it was -27... I start worrying about a guy who smokes topless on the balcony!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39673
 02.12.2010
- Do you understand all of these "dever", "trick"?
and nona.
My mother’s father is "Wow!")
What about my aunt?
The issue, apparently

[ + 63 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39672
 02.12.2010
I want to go to you :-*
Are you crazy, pedicure? What other bone?! to

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №39671
 02.12.2010
As a child, I thought there was good and bad, like heaven and hell. And when I studied marketing, I realized that heaven and hell are just two different brands of the same company The God Inc., just one for lovers of hot, and the other for lovers of silence.

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39670
 02.12.2010
We have a universe of 60 years... he has 4 corps, so the first corps is the former kindergarten, the second former school, the third former psychic and the fourth former morge... They directly show us the way of life, it was only in the year of anniversary to open the corps in the former nursery (hospital) and the former prison.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №39669
 02.12.2010
Today I go from the circus to the cinema "Mayakovsky". Along the way, I see digital panels, such as those that show the time and temperature. The first, at the circus, shows - 11, the second, at the business center, - 12, then on the red there is a supermarket, there -13, after the mexx store -14, and already at the town hall -15 shows. I thought in my head: "Maybe I’m going in the wrong direction?"

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №39668
 02.12.2010
I lost my phone and all contacts with it.
I'm back now, please come with my numbers.
2: Is it not spam?
Fuck you, fuck me, give me the numbers.
The indication passed successfully. ?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №39667
 02.12.2010
My girlfriend is really blonde.
I: Zhao, I'll take you a color scheme, can you print it?
She: Okay, what is there?
I: Scheme and map of shades for browsing, I will then need to pick up the strands myself, and go to the store with an enthusiast paper. Do you have a color printer?
She is: Yes.
I: Here is thank you! There are 73 shades! What is the complicated drawing?!...
She: Oh, then it won’t work, I only have four colors in my printer...Sorry!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39666
 02.12.2010
Drivers and pedestrians!
Please pay attention to the small furry creatures on the roads and do not forget to throw them out like sausages. thank you.
The Russian cats.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №39665
 01.12.2010
Geric: I remember Rus told the story, how the guy Nihren did not work out. Here comes to the girl, and neither "Be" nor "Me" can say. It turned out that he had one interest in life - nuclear physics))) That is, for everything else he had a fancy, so he did not stick.

Geric: The Rus advised him when he approached to tell something from this very physics and this guy burned up!! He told so emotionally and with passion that the electron moves around the nucleus and can neither merge nor dissociate, otherwise the world will come global shit that the girl listened to him with her mouth open. He took her number and so on.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №39664
 01.12.2010
Olga: Remember we watched the movie. The cloud is called. If you send it to me by email, can I see it?

Ales: Yeah, let me send you it!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №39663
 01.12.2010
1: I went for lunch, and today I had a very damn breakfast.
Toothpaste can be considered breakfast.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №39662
 01.12.2010
Temperature on the street -26 degrees.
Fuck, my legs are frozen.
I: I have a ruble to my finger.

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