bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73674
 01.12.2012
and yesterday. The conversation of my seven-year-old nephew with my grandfather.

How do you prove that you are a man?
“Look, I have a moustache!
Nephew: And what then? Love has it too!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №73673
 01.12.2012
How does a cat treat a rat?
YYY: When the cat approached, the rat thought it was food and bit him. Since then he has been afraid of her.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73672
 01.12.2012
C@nek (Barnaul): with the first day of winter to you!
The bird: You too! We have 27 degrees.
C@nek (Barnaul): and at us

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №73671
 01.12.2012
yyy: Breasts for men, like a laser point for a cat xD.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73670
 01.12.2012
In fact, Frightened from the "Magic of the Emerald City" was a zombie. After all, he ran around the country and shouted:"Mozgiya!I need a brain!"

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №73669
 01.12.2012
Q: I dreamed today that you and I were dancing waltz in a huge hall with marble columns, thousands of candles were lit around, and the music was flowing out of nowhere.
Hm... And what next?
Q: And then the Marsians arrived, I took my two-handed sword and crushed them in cabbage, then by ventilation got into their main ship and destroyed the central computer of the navigation hub and they flew straight into the sun.
D: And what about me?? to
Q: And you saved me, I saved the planet

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №73668
 01.12.2012
XXX is
In short, I watched the Harry Potter day, and I thought that I'm in every publication on the GP, why not get to know the MAN there.
YYYY
and ROFL
YYYY
She went to the Harry Potter website for a man.
XXX is
You know, I think the fan site of May Little Pony is more promising

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73667
 01.12.2012
by Misha.
Can I ask a modest question?

and Stalin.
Give it.

Misha
Have you ever betrayed your boyfriend?

and Stalin.
Good thing, I put it.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №73666
 01.12.2012
Are you playing cards?
YYY: for what?
xxx on the map.
YYY: For what?! to
XXX: Are you a fool? I am talking in cards!
YYY: I am a fool. What are we going to play cards with?
zzz: I understand, you are going to play in translation? Take the third?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №73665
 01.12.2012
Advertising has struck me now. In the bus: I am looking for a young man. It can be without experience. I will learn everything myself. I already get the phone in advance, but below the small letters: with love, your work... :)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №73664
 01.12.2012
A colleague told me.
He worked for a Japanese company. The Japanese chef spoke Russian well, but, traditionally for the Japanese, he did not pronounce the letter "l", replacing it with "r".
The secretary first shrugged when the boss said to her:
and Masha! I need to remove the fax!
Then she got used to it and calmly replied:
Okay, let’s get so out!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73663
 01.12.2012
A: by the way
A: The new programmer does not drink wheat
A: He looks like he’s drinking.
B: There is a lot.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №73662
 01.12.2012
It’s somewhere in Russia in the courts at the entrance. And we, in St. Petersburg, young people are resting on the bricks near the parade.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №73661
 01.12.2012
About the game WoW.
AURKA: Well, yes, because when I came, and the first time I went to the raid, I was fucked on the table and caught in a cloud of formulas and schedules.
AURKA: And when I bought the box with the game there was no nichuya written about gaids, theoricraft and dps rotation.
There was written: Become a Hero, Kill the Dragon!

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73660
 01.12.2012
At the beginning of the year, four girls studied in our group of engineers. The teacher looked around the class and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, let us learn. From the representative "Reno" every year calls, ask if we have no car technicians girls.
The French are French.

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73659
 01.12.2012
Vitaliy70: I'll tell you one instructive story
They were found in the bathroom of a dead newborn baby.
Mention has triggered the case
Working on the residential sector.
We found a suitable 19-year-old girl.
What they did with her and her friend science is silent.
But in general, she admitted that a week ago she gave birth, killed and threw out the baby.
She was not taken in custody.
A lawyer is happy.
A certificate from a female consultation.
5 month pregnant girl
Ask for involvement in the case
Stop the case
The investigator makes a decision - the document does not relate to the case
In two months the court
The stomach is visually visible.
The document does not relate to the case
She was born in the area.
Released by decision of the Supervisory Authority
Luckily I go.
I could sit until the end.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73658
 01.12.2012
XXX: I worked on the schedule - fucking full!
YYY: I also... In other words, I worked on a schedule.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73657
 01.12.2012
About TP
We had one such. Pumped lips, because of which the shape of her mouth resembled
The suitcase. In terms of content.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73656
 01.12.2012
Mrlik: My friend said he’s going with an iPhone because he doesn’t have money on Samsung.
P.S. I think he’s the first person to say that.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №73655
 01.12.2012
XXX: How to get acquainted?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I don’t know you, you don’t know me, why ruin such an ideal relationship?

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