Women are like mushrooms: the most beautiful are the most poisonous.

I have been struck by these patriotist politicians.

A popular note. If you woke up earlier than the alarm clock, today is a holiday.

This happened five years ago.

I was near school in my neighborhood. The school organized a fair in honor of Maslenica. They sold barrachlo as well as cakes, blends and so on.

I noticed a boy, probably a first-class boy, sitting on a hose with an expression of universal sadness on his face.

I approached him:

and hello. Why are you so sad?

I wanted to buy clothes at the fair, but there was no money.

I remember like as a child I wanted some candy, but could not afford because of the lack of money.

I smile victoriously, here is my chance, I will give him money and tell him to go and buy what he wants and dissolve myself in the crowd like an unknown hero. I pull my hand into the pocket of the jacket. I see the expression of hope on the boy’s face. I remember that I don’t have money with me.

I say sadly:

And I have no money.

It seemed that we simultaneously issued a doomed breath.

and Taxi. I am with a girl of preschool age.



Q. When will I finish school?

After the eleventh class.

and Uriah. Then I will be free!

Then you go to the institute.

D – What is it?

Study for another 6 years. You will get a profession.

Noah, are you still studying? Okay, then I will do whatever I want!

Then you will have to work.

D is not! I just want to live! When will I be able to live normally? ! to



He breathed hard, the woman answered nothing. I breathed too.

Xxx: By the way, just for the future for your safety. When the truck is behind you, and you are near the cabin, just raise your hand and pass. Maybe someday it will save your life.



Yyy: With my height of 150 I'll just die in Hitler's posture



Zzzz: And led in court:

I am standing on the light, and right in front of the car, Hitler throws the zig-zag. I am on gas.

The former colleague after the cuts decided to do business. There was little personal cash and he tried to clean sofas, carpets, mattresses. The price for the procedure is small 1500-3000 for cleaning, but the service itself is quite in demand. Working without weekends. At one of our meetings he told a busy case at work.

Finish the cleaning, collect the tool. The client girl:

I forgot to take the money, maybe we can make a deal. (He smiles mysteriously, curling his curls on his finger)

How to?

You do me a favor and I do you a favor. (He blinks and smiles all the same mysteriously)

-No question, just let's go faster, I need to get the injection in the skin dispenser.

The money was found immediately.

Oh, by the way, as a firefighter - tell me, how dangerous is it to charge lithium-ion batteries at home?

And the second question - if you are careful and put the batteries in a sandbox during charging, how effective will this be in the event of a possible fire?



Yyy: And Fig knows him. I usually come to the end of the experience.

Xxx: Like in elementary school, I liked one girl from my class. I didn’t know what to do and decided to do it anonymously. The oldest brother helped to make a heart from a tree. I painted it in red and slashed it, pulling out my initials on it. On the change, he threw her into the wallet. and began to wait. A week later I saw this heart in my classmate, but already with her initials and the signature: I like you.

Members live in a different country. They have completely different laws on labor, on pensions, on medical care, on taxes. So what hell do they take laws for us and eat our bread?

Night of the Old Railroad.

I want to tell a story I heard from my teacher at real estate management courses.
They brought me to the courage of the mind and faith in a bright future. After graduating, I realized that I would never go into real estate.
The courses were under the Institute of World Civilizations, which is known for being founded by Vladimir Volfovich Zhirinovsky. The monument modestly decorated the entrance to the school.
The program of classes was divided into two blocks: commercial real estate and residential. If lessons on commercial real estate still included some of the basics of "management", the residential part prepared clean agents for the search and sale of apartments, sometimes houses.
There were also two teachers. Sorry, but I can’t remember the exact names. The commercial part was led by a crazy Tajik - a smart young man, who was really engaged in managing some warehouses in the Moscow region, and had a share in this business.
The residential part was led by Katya. Or the light. She was “a little over forty.” When you look at her, you could immediately say, "Katia or the Light. A little over forty.” Every time she looked like she arrived on a tram from Vladivostok, with seventeen times on her foot, and in the area of Chelyabinsk, the button just sewn on her favorite coat, bought during the crisis in the year 98 on the Cherkizovsky market. Eternal dissatisfaction and confusion did not prevent her from being a real professional, an Agent with a big letter, and even showing some teaching skills.
Students, which included me, the real estate shark business looked little. It was almost a complete set of losers of all kinds, whose amount of free time greatly exceeded the amount of free cash: retired military, housewives on the tenth year of maternity leave, widowed pensioners, students of some Academies-All-Academies, a teacher of physical education and a guard from the shopping center "Golden Babylon Mytischi-4". So it turned out that in the course of my short study I managed to visit in two groups and I can say that in both the students were approximately the same, so the sample can be considered a presentation.
It was an introduction. Now the very story told by Katie-Sveta at one of the classes, when she explained that there are no bad apartments, and everyone, even the most hopeless can find their buyer.
In the early nineties, she was a young naive girl, never married, and just started her journey in the beautiful world of real estate agents with endless rows to Rosreestr, favorite customers, for whom the best carpenters of Russia and abroad and colleagues at the shop, also, as it turned out, famous cattle, cried.
I ordered her to work. The option was interesting in all parameters: a prosperous area, a house of good planning, the right floor, a competitive price, an adequate seller and very good commissions.
What was the reason for Katya’s interest when she came to see the apartment. There were no furniture in the apartment, curtains on the windows as well. Through the slightly polluted glasses opened a wonderful view of the blue summer sky of Moscow. It is above. And down there was a wonderful network of rails of the Tushin Railway Depot. On the one hand, there was nothing surprising about it. Moscow was then a city with many factories and industries. The office Mecca, with the blessing of the prophet Yuri appeared a little later. The first seeds of bad anticipation appeared in Svetta, when a maneuvering heat car passed through the railway network, frightening local crows by knocking the wheels and a stretch. Then the manoeuvre repeated. For the third time, it seemed that along with the rails and wheels, the floor in the apartment was trembling.
She didn’t have to ask an uncomfortable question to the owner. They were decent people and told themselves that because of sound special effects, which was impossible to not notice, they could not find a buyer for six months. Apparently, therefore, more experienced comrades did not take this order and the "bad apartment" got a young inexperienced trainee at the last stage of the seller's despair, who was already ready to lower the price, but did not want to do so.
The next few days Katya went and thought how and to whom to sell the apartment in Tushino. Where to find a buyer?
Getting out of the subway on the square of three stations and headed toward the "Moscowsky" supermarket, she stumbled upon the poster with a scattered gaze. There was written that in a week in the Railway Workers' House of Culture will be held a festive concert dedicated to the Day of these most railway workers with the participation of famous and not very artists. The inscription on the poster miraculously combined with Katie's thoughts and the puzzle came together.
The week went on preparation, contact with the organizers of the concert and printing of advertising leaflets on the sale of the apartment.
In the pamphlets, as a special bonus, it was indicated that the apartment is located next to the railway depot, will keep the usual atmosphere of the favorite work and will delight the owner with the usual knock of wagon wheels and locomotives on weekends and holidays.
Arriving on the day of the concert at the railway club, Katya, with the permission of the organizers, distributed leaflets to all visitors, accompanying them with a sweet smile and bright glow of the girl's eyes.
And what do you think? A buyer has been found!
A serious man from the railway dynasty was looking for an apartment for his retired father. The railroad father could not accept retirement and the need to spend his time in passive rest away from his favorite work. The railroad son did not know how to help his beloved and respected father, and here is such an offer!
The apartment was sold very quickly. Everyone remained satisfied. Light received an additional bonus from the buyer and eternal gratitude of the railroad grandfather, who could now even at night listen to heart-pleasant sounds and naturally feel with his old bones the vibration of the rails that take the trains into the eternal nirvana of his railroad dreams.
Since then, more than twenty years have passed. A young realtor girl, having gone through all the paths of professional deformity, having been married three times, taught the neophytes how to find and sell apartments. Vladimir Volfovich from an inadequate politician of the Yeltsin era turned into a bronze monument, standing at the entrance to the educational institution with a loud name and a quiet watch at the entrance. Well, I wrote this story looking at the red diploma, which I don’t need at all.

Anything that doesn’t kill us just didn’t want to. I would have killed.

A friend told me. The summer. Worked in the militia, a evil man and a woman in tears, tears, a bleak in half-face enters the department:

The men! urgently! The search! A bomb with valens!

What is? The valley? In the summer? by Brady?

No is!! Valenko's wife gave a bomb, who was sitting in the entrance, and I had a snail there, 200 thousand!

Bomb was not found.

Something a day I remembered the case when I was studying at the universe at phys-mate.

We had a Russian language for a year. Purely formally offset/not offset. We had somehow the task of deciphering the words as we understand them. It turned out that many were mistaken, as their significance was associated in a narrow manner with some events.

For example: Impeachment - well, many have written that this is an intimate betrayal of the head of state (everyone remembers, of course, Monica and Bill). A dilettant — many, apparently, considered something like a sabotage, which was eventually described as a spy in the rear of the enemy, etc.

A few examples of the teacher brought us our mistakes and other students out of the stream. We then frankly crushed and it seemed like everything, but the hell was swimming there...

Later, she said that such mistakes are recorded in her notebook and accumulated. And later, when it accumulates to a certain limit, it reads to its students on the filfaq to cheer with them and named this notebook "The Untold Dictionary of Physics." And here we got stuck. Physical feelings were affected.

We complained to our professor of physics that the Nifiga did not behave in a human way, especially to an adult person, and roasted to the general view. Our predecessor came to her and she said that she saw nothing terrible in it.

Since then, our predecessor had a notebook "The Untold Problem of Humanities" and once in a certain period of time, when there was something to share with him, he told us how students from the filfak solve problems and we roared over them!

Xxx: Well, I remember when I was a child, when my grandmother suddenly told me that you can’t put anything in the socket. I would have guessed it without her.

And here, after hitting the moment when no one was there, I was precisely in the same socket that she pointed to when she spoke, first pushed one invisible socket, and when I realized that nothing was happening, then the other, respectively, in the other hole of the socket.

No, it wasn’t so bad, luckily! I remember, my hand just shrugged. I was sure of my grandmother’s truth.



Yyy: In the kindergarten, I heard the teacher reporting to another child, “Why is there snow?” And the light came down on me. You can eat snow!!! to

The next day I fell down with a sore throat.

Talk to a colleague at work. He is actively looking for an apartment and the topic came up in which area it is better to take the property.

D is Where I’t get an apartment, it’s in your area.

I am. What is it? The normal area.

D. Yes I am sick. My friend lived there.

I am. And what?

D is - No, she rented an apartment in that area in a new house, and I would go to her entrance, and there...

I am. What is?

D is It is joking!

I am. Not pleasant of course, but...

D is I don’t care what you’re joking about, there’s enough stuff everywhere! The key question is how this creature guessed!

I am. How is?

D is She managed to get into the upper mailbox! With 2 meters! Drop it all from above down! Do you imagine? All the boxes were damned!

I am. The Trident...

D is Yes at all! But the worst is the other. Five years have passed, and I still think how he managed to do it.

I worked 20 years ago as an inbound enicacher in several offices.

In one of them, a very harmful woman worked as the chief economist. She was already over 50, so her pension is actually here.

And the whole office didn’t love her very much. Why I didn't like it I understood when I became a participant of events.

At that time, it was often that there was one computer with a printer for the entire organization, and everyone worked on it in turn, doing what they needed. And this economist, as I have already said, was in the age, the computer did not want to master at all, the hell knows what this devil-machine counts there, so she wore her drawings, written with a pencil (it is important), a young girl, let it be Helena, who filled the table in her drawings and printed it, and the economist had already dragged to the director for signature.

The director was mindful, so he read everything carefully, and constantly found mistakes in the type of "Here you wrote 25 thousand, but we should not have more than 17 thousand", after which the economist did not blink with a blink of the eye, cleaned the draft, entered the correct number there and presented the director of the type "but I have everything right here, it is Lenka hernia wrote!"

Lenka was mocked for inattention, Lenka was crying, saying that she had checked everything over and could not be so wrong.

I learned, so immediately Lenke and advised, "And you take and take a photocopy of her draft before you bring."

Well, and literally after some time the story repeats itself, an error in the document, the economist again shows her pencil draft, where everything was supposedly correct at first, and Elena brings and shows a photocopy, from which it can be seen that the draft is then corrected.

The economist almost broke out of indignation. She wrote a letter on behalf of the director demanding that Elena be fired for a set of crimes, for copying confidential documents and for trying to undermine the authority of respected employees. Then it caused a scandal when the director refused to dismiss Elena. And then the whole office headed by the chief, and naturally put the ultimatum to the director: "Either the economist is fired or we are all fired." The director was like the cat Leopold ("Let live friendly!"), did not want to dismiss, because the economist until retirement was literally a year, and she worked in this organization for almost 25 years, but as a result, the economist was fired.

I remember school music lessons: the teacher turned on the magnet and allowed me to put my head on the table, close my eyes and listen to classical music. It was wonderful.

I am the youngest in the family. The family is big – Mom, Dad, two brothers and two sisters and me.

Vitaly (middle brother) in my childhood often offered me to bet. Everyone knows this, for example, who gets to the pillar first is a good man. Everything in that spirit. I argued about hunting.

Vitaly once suggested that whoever eats more garlic wins. The conditions are understandable, the reward is excellent. Vital offered me to eat garlic first. I took the whole head, divided it into toothbrushes and started eating. One tooth, the second, the third... As soon as he drank the whole head, Vital carefully cleaned the second. Somewhere in the middle of the second head of garlic I gave up - I could not, burned in my mouth, burned inside, wanted to drink, but the rules were forbidden. I said I can’t do it anymore and now it’s my brother’s turn.

Vital looked at it all and said I won because he could not eat so much garlic.

There were also controversies: who sat longer in the bath with cold water on (was all blue), who drank more water (this 3 liters I still remember), who stayed on the snow for longer with bare legs (thank you for not getting sick) and so on.

I always won.

I have two younger brothers, very young, 12 and 13. Almost all the walks were on me. Here is the story of trust. I am 15-16 years old and I have a cavalier on a motorbike. I go out with the kids, they love transportation. I tell them Oleg drives you only not to tell anyone. Two heads nodded and promised that they would never say a word. He drove off, of course very slowly, I don’t even remember if he started that motorcycle at all. We go home, between them, of course, only talk about "travel" and secret. They both run into the house and shout, “Mommy! We were riding a motorcycle!! Hurry up, but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret!”Mom with the answer “I won’t tell” looks at me. I got a lot then!