bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107394
 26.12.2014
A country whose name is not known? =) is
====== is
Yes, this name is better to say in sight. At the end of touch.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107393
 26.12.2014
The adequacy of a man is recognized only in the decree, and it is not possible to calculate the coefficient of his wisdom in advance.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107392
 26.12.2014
A story about female logic.
My mom in the bathroom, among others, hangs two towels from one set. On one in the center is depicted a relief drawing of the fingerprint of the palm, on the other, respectively, the feet. Type for hands and feet. Once, being in the guests, I went to wash my hands and was going to use the right (from my point of view) towel with my hand. What my mom, noticing this case, advised to take another, because for the legs, it turned out, was just that. To my question "Why?" was given a brilliant answer:
Because it is green.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №107391
 26.12.2014
My mother once told me and my brother to throw the old Soviet TV (such a healthy grave on the legs, who knows will understand). We peeled this dirty box before washing for half an hour, constantly stopping for rest. I hated that television with all my soul... Then I left for business. I go home in the evening with the TV in place!!! There is a happy grandmother:
Oh, you can imagine, granddaughter, how lucky we are! I go from the clinic, I watch - on the laundry the TV stands, well, just like ours! Yes, in our time, such a telephone was the dream of every family, people were completely eaten! She brought to us! We have two such TVs!
P.S We live on the 7th floor and there is no TV in the elevator. My grandmother was 75.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107390
 26.12.2014
The boss saw on my workplace a line painted with a mark in 4 layers, a stamp carved out of slurry, and a "brass house" of stickers - now you can't lie every day that the whole day was very busy and didn't have time to check the trainee.( by

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №107389
 26.12.2014
Situation: I leave the subway, I see a Russian teacher from my second course (by the way, I have not communicated with her for 3-4 years).
So I stretched the cap, raised the shirt and passed by: that a woman's evening to ruin, she's good.

And it is true, I would also after "not communicate" tried to not get the Russian teacher in the eyes...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107388
 26.12.2014
Are you preparing for the exam?
YYY: But...not yet...not even at night...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107387
 26.12.2014
The female stuff.
In the store, one girl asked the other girl what she was wearing (and she was wearing the "MAC Matte Lipstick Heroine").

Q: You have a very beautiful dress, what is the company and shade?
WOW: Thank you very much! This is “MAC Cocaine.”
The cocaine? I haven’t heard of it, I only know of the heroine.
Oh yes, of course, the hero. Sorry, I don’t know much about drugs.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107386
 26.12.2014
...
This is what I do - stop dropping into toxicosis what you previously just masked in yourself.
– – – –
Lovely man, to get sick 24 hours a day!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107385
 26.12.2014
Psychologist: Okay and clear. Where is my favorite?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107384
 26.12.2014
The sister bought the ring of Barahira (from Silmarillion).
I took it from her, because I am the eldest in the family, and I do not observe the canon.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107383
 26.12.2014
The White Snow
from the sky to us.
I am at MCA. In the blockade
Third hour in a row.
Not time today.
I buy a telecast.
What to do at the party?
I will drink a lot.
The white snow,
very many of them.
Next to the ambulance.
I gave birth to three.
We have snow tomorrow.
They will fly again.
Where is the dollar -30, Euro-35?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107382
 26.12.2014
My mother is a teacher in high school. I always hear complaints from her that they say from children and their parents you won't go anywhere: and in the resorts they will find, and when the phones are turned off they will get, and they will say hello to another 20 years.
Situation: I leave the subway, I see a Russian teacher from my second course (by the way, I have not communicated with her for 3-4 years).
So I stretched the cap, raised the shirt and passed by: that a woman's evening to ruin, she's good.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №107381
 26.12.2014
to this
Today in the supermarket I paid at the box office, the cashier asks for twenty copies, and I only have ten. A few coins are rolled on the floor. I raise ten copies and give it to the cashier.
That’s what I understand – service.
--------
I generally always do that :) Around the supermarket box office there is always a little thing that people are embarrassed to raise - like us, the poor! :))) Yeah, by the way, the beggar somehow also advised to walk around the pebbles and pick up a rolling pebble. You would see how he looked at me!! It is :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №107380
 26.12.2014
I read an anecdote in the office:
Going to the bar?
You cannot go to the bar.
Going to fishing?
You cannot go fishing.
Do you regret getting married?
cannot be regretted.

And why is this one Denis not laughing at an anecdote?
You cannot laugh.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №107379
 26.12.2014
Also also :
to these:
to this:
The auto-informator, as far as I remember, says: "Injury cases on the escalators were involved". Everything is taught and taught. Soon there will be no escalators, but a bloody meat bowl.

The same shit, I ride, indeed, on electric bikes... so I imagine, years after five, like electric bikes melt people in crowds, even those who just go by...

I beg you, our Fairy is getting twice as thick every year. For 20 years already.

The economy is becoming more efficient and efficient.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107378
 26.12.2014
Q: Mosquito, what is the weather here? Everything went up in shit.
We are all frozen in shit!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107377
 26.12.2014
Not Albania, but Schipperia
-----------
This was not the Albanian yazig, but the Schipper FSE these years?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107376
 26.12.2014
XXX: There are almost no fresh flowers on the alley, but there are artificial flowers. A little people, at least a day. My satellites were slightly behind while I was equipped with a camera. I wanted to ask something, I addressed the passing grandmother: "Excuse me, can I ask?". It recklessly turns around and goes on. Hm To the next passing, non-young man, I ask already this way: "Sorry, can I ask?". And he, contemptuously looking at me and splintering, also leaves. To the third, a young man hanging with photocalls and bags, I ask for every chance: “Excuse me, may I ask?” He responds joyfully, taratorit, as if he had met someone of his family.
Sorry to. My English is not so good.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107375
 26.12.2014
The xxx:
In the United States, a man named Jack Daniels named his son Jim Bim

YYYY :
It is logical
Not five lakes.

The xxx:
If there are five children...

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