bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №40621
 22.12.2010
From the forum:
What do you do when you tell a girl that you love her and in response she gets - I love a friend!? to
WOW: don’t be upset... maybe her ideal is an intelligent Russian language teacher.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №40620
 22.12.2010
XHHH: recently took a new sitadmin, the old resigned
We have a strict dress code: dresses black, without stripes, tie and all things.
xxx: today seeing him in a T-shirt with the inscription "Better a beer butt than a job butt", I realized that not everyone is covered by the dress code.
It looks colorful, but...

[ + 136 - ] Comment quote №40619
 22.12.2010
So, my girlfriend and I are 15 years old - and we kiss on a bench in the park (well, we were nowhere, nowhere). Beyond us go two old ladies – of the Ahmatov type, old Petersburg women... And one of them begins to be outraged (naturally) by the “morals” of modern youth. To what another, so, by the way, replies: “You hear, girlfriend, stop whispering... You might think that when you took in your mouth, you wore white gloves.”
Our reaction was a fierce applause.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №40618
 22.12.2010
<MazaHaka> In fact, bejics are invented to keep an eye on the breasts without a burn.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №40617
 22.12.2010
Comments on the photo in Contact:
She is ha-ha! This is Yes!
He: Girl, it feels like you have something on CapsLock's lying.
She: Where is it?
He: It doesn’t matter. Continue to. Do not stop...
<...>
She is: Uti Zai!
He: Yes, we love the Azeroth, so to say...
She: What?
He is: each other. Have you joined a group in English? There somewhere in the passageway on the second floor a sheet hangs...
She: Oh, I understood that this was Constantine Mutko’s parade.
“Let’s give you a Russian record?
And what kind of calling is that... dumb.
She: EEEE, you, Constantine, do you know Momco?? to
Write on to the computer courses, I don't know what capsule you meant.
Your life will become a complete liquidation.
She: In what?
Life will turn into liquidation. Go to Liquid!!! to
She is pleasant! It sounds scary!!! to
He is God! Lord Jesus! I succeeded!
She: What? It is ?
He said, “Aha! Faaahahahahahahahah!!!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №40616
 22.12.2010
You are going to have 5 in Algebra :)
WOW: That is why?and :(
Also in Russian.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №40615
 22.12.2010
She: And someday, when I meet you on the street, on your question, I will silently show you the ring on my unnamed finger.
he: beautiful such... silver.... with the signature - "Save and save!"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №40614
 22.12.2010
You know, I don’t play Warcraft at all, I don’t sit in the office, I don’t get out of the streets, I don’t speak the programming language, and I don’t get mother.

I like your comics.)

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40613
 22.12.2010
I downloaded the movie a week ago.
The name is German, I forgot the name. Do you remember by chance?
YYY: I do not remember. I don’t remember the names of German films.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №40612
 22.12.2010
"Of the number of detained in Moscow for riots 120 people have already been sent to the army"
The new measure of punishment ?

[ + 55 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40611
 22.12.2010
What do you think is where people are really praying to God, in a church or in an airplane that has failed one engine?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №40610
 22.12.2010
In the reception room of the obstetric department, behind a large table, next to the nurse sits a woman. A woman dressed in a civilian dress with fun flowers, a woman struggles, approximately every three minutes and reveals 4.
It is placed in the railway. The nurse of the nursery fills out the necessary documentation, the woman is quietly overwhelmed with the nurse with joking replicas, periodically distracting herself to endure the fight. He continues to joke with the nurse. The woman is persistent, as
Zoya Kosmodemianskaya, does not scream, but only tightly clamps and scratches her teeth. But at some point he does not stand, and at the peak of the fight begins to kick his fist on the table. and silence. The line in the hallway is understood, the former women smile sympathetically, the men whiten and sweat off to smoke.
At this time, by the open doors of the reception passes the responsible surgeon for gynecology, looks into the room and sees a woman sitting with her back, brutally beating with her fist the court table, and relentlessly filling the papers the sister of mercy:
What are you making noise? What happened to you? Addressed by Dr. K
The patient. In response, silence, tight back and a kick of the fist
The table.
I’m talking to you, don’t you hear? The doctor is upset. – is
You are in the hospital, not in the building. Stop bullying immediately! I am
Please take yourself into your hands and explain to me quietly why.
Their scandal. Do you hear me??! to
The woman slowly turns to the side of the gynecologist, looks at him, twisted in half, scratching, low head slope and extending out the overlapping: - Mmmmuouououououououououu...
The doctor confused: - I understood, sorry, I was wrong! Knock, knock and do not distract.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40609
 22.12.2010
The thief must sit in jail, and only absolutely honest people can afford to buy Chelsea.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №40608
 22.12.2010
About Modern Education:

A friend goes through a practice, works as a lecturer in one capital university. I had to take the first-class exams. Talk for the next day

I: By the way, how did your exam teach you a lot?
Q: What kind of exam?
I: Well you said that the exam should take...
Friend: Aaa... I didn’t go.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №40607
 22.12.2010
Polina: I have a coward, a coward and a band, and it’s all so offgenic... and he loves some sort of Nastya.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №40606
 22.12.2010
<NN_was> hi, individuals :))
<polkan> the legal ass off ))))

[ + 60 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40605
 22.12.2010
Objective: I sit, read a book, I don’t touch anyone. A younger sister, a schoolgirl (10 years old) enters and asks what the “golden rain” is.
Objective: I was very, very heavily shaken. I sit, I don’t know what to answer and where she came from like that.
Objective: It turns out, they so called the vocal contest at school. I am a corrupt man.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №40604
 22.12.2010
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH How is she at work?
Tagged with: pizzac
xxx: aural, anal and "I am tired"?
WOW: exactly

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №40603
 22.12.2010
Why at Anatoly Sobchak, who himself from Tashkent and saw snow only on the television, in the poor 90s the snow was killed, and at Valentine's Day, in the rich 2000s - not a whore? Apparently Uncle Tola, the world of his dust, not only thought of the grandmother...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №40602
 22.12.2010
I am sitting at Matmod (Informatics). Prepod asks to pass a test on the Internet on such a site from a maximum of 2 attempts.. I know it is not smoking yet. With the attempt 6-8 I get the result "3 of 4".. I was delighted, and only the problem - "test passage time 5 seconds"... I think I will definitely burn out.. made the screen, inserted in painting, moved the words, copied the bookcards.. as a result made the "test will take place in 5 minutes 4 seconds"... saved, opened as a slide show, put on a pause - and voila.. Just a sextine chapel)) Well here the prep passed by, looks - passed.. says "on what question you did not answer", takes the mouse and clicks on the link (which should be her, but as this photo here is a cute link". Of course, it is followed by a photo.
Who? Who? Tell me who! saves in "My drawings" a hand-drawn file in the song with the words "BET THIS MATMOD NAHU!!and "

Oh, and I wanted to take the machine.

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