bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57654
 19.12.2011
Why not throw bricks in large packages of condoms now?
No is
Here are Gandhi!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57653
 19.12.2011
Where are my 17 years old?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №57652
 19.12.2011
I work in a disc salon. A dull and boring morning. A dumb guy enters the department. Whether it’s a straw or a straw. He addresses me:
Young man, you have a high-profile movie.
I already start smiling, understanding what he’s meant, but then he finally achieves:
Highotsky "Thank you for being alive"

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №57651
 19.12.2011
If you have read the novel of Jules Verne or at least watched the movie with the same name, then you will not be disappointed, you will, gently speaking, be shocked by what you saw, starting from the first seconds of the film.

Who could have thought that this is how the review of the movie Musketeers begins.

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57650
 19.12.2011
Comments Off on Let It Snow! In the Hebrew:

xxx:Chrome 15.0 – does not brake.
Firefox 8.0 is slowing down.
IE 9.0 does not brake.
Processor AMD Athlon II 215, RAM - 4 GB.

yyy:Chrome 16.0.912.63 m – does not brake at all.
P.S I just learned that Chrome has grown to 16 versions. I am slowly updating myself...I stopped watching it.

XX: When I wrote my comment, I was 15. I’m 16 now... Tomorrow he’ll steal my computer :D

Zzzz: Why are you stealing?
This is his computer.


[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57649
 19.12.2011
I have an examination in architecture.
What are the limits on the number of stairs on the staircase?
I: No less than 3 and no more than 18
What happens if you walk 20 steps?
I will lose my orientation.
Prepod understandably nodded his head and put a stitch)))

[ + 38 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57648
 19.12.2011
xxx: I have an odmin at home, almost real, only without a sweater and beard. So we all work fast, reliably, almost free, but through the ass!!! to

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №57647
 19.12.2011
We do repairs in the apartment. The wife enters the room where I and my aunt are cutting the wallpaper.
My wife is watching me stick the wallpaper and carefully tear it away from the wall so that I can’t break it and crack it again.
Wife: Sun, why do you paint your wallpapers? I have to get rid of them, and they have to get rid of me!
My husband and I :D
Wife: Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, keep silent!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57646
 19.12.2011
It is better to find one reason than eleven excuses.
(Author of the Orthodox)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57645
 19.12.2011
Husbands and their duration. One woman in the hallway lived in a closet, from which suddenly, without a declaration of war, the door fell, well not on the head.
The woman tried to solve the problem with her own hands, almost succeeded, but this time the breaking door acted more targeted.
On the forehead, the head whispers, the shelf with the collection of vessels is removed, the door is pleasantly opened across the corridor, and I want to hang myself.
But the woman did not look for easy ways, and so found a phone on the Internet and called her husband.
I told him about the smuggling of household items.
The husband of the Hour ringed in the phone and asked what he could be useful to.
How what? → A woman surprised. The repair! Write the address.
My husband breathed hard, but the address was recorded.

At the half-sixth on the threshold appeared an unshaken embal and humorously asked: - What to repair?
The owner said, “Are you just on the sanitary? by all? It is great!
The bowl in the toilet is running, the crane in the kitchen is splashing like a rage, the outlet is sparkling, and the light bulb has burned out, I tried to twist - it is not twisted! Do you have a drill? Can I hang a mirror? You can, yeah? How lucky I was with you!
Ambal made it clear that he would prefer a less extensive field of activity. But yet he shrugged the tank with the crane, changed the light bulb, repaired the socket, hung the mirror, at the same time moved the stove and then asked: - Where is the door?
The door still holds. Thank you, a huge thank you! The hostess said.
Finally, our JES started to work. How much do I owe you?
What does it mean to hold? The one that fell out of the closet? They asked themselves.
Did I ask? I don’t have such a closet. Are you from Jesse? Do not approach! I will scream! Are you a maniac?! to
And who else? We, maniacs, like to maniack when nothing is shining around, otherwise no pleasure. Don’t make a circus.
Calls unknown who, demands unclear what, I, like the fool last, I think, a lonely aunt, help no one, okay, here next door, through the house, what is there, and you are me about maniacs?! I am a doctor, not a calling maniac! Do good after that!
“Oh,” said the red housewife and laughingly smashed her springy nose. – is
Honestly, I didn’t call anywhere, I swear! Is the address confused?
This is the 68th house, not the 168th. Sorry, it was so uncomfortable! Let me feed you for dinner! I need to rehabilitate somehow. Or you and the
Will you go to the 68th house?
Ambal kept silent, looked at the housewife again, smelled and said, “Let’s not turn charity into a routine. And for dinner, the same chicken that burns up in the kitchen?

A woman from the 68th house, tired of jumping through the door, called her husband again. With claims on the subject “where your conscience” and
“How much can I wait.”
- I hear you for the first time, how do I know where they called, I am normal, and with hearing normal, and with the head! Will you continue to scream or record you? On Saturday, the next day. Here’s what, take your husband and tell him what and when to do, scandalist!
He dropped the phone, the bastard.

The woman knocked the door in her heart and cried.
I cried a long time.
And late in the evening, she called her ex-husband, who was supposed to be a lifetime, and it turned out that in comparison with life - only for an hour. Through the clutches, she told me about the door. And about the fact that she didn’t need him for a hundred years, lived without him, and will continue to live. And that she is very bad. The door has nothing to do with it. Absolutely nothing to do.

A year later, in August, a woman whispered to her ex-husband, “Do you see the couple out?” The man is healthy and the girl is red.
He is a surgeon in cardiology. Tomorrow I will tell the girls, all, late, married, broke a guy!

[ + -10 - ] Comment quote №57644
 19.12.2011
The girls! If you are sitting in the subway and in front of you a charming young man and does not take your eyes away from you, relax, just behind your back is a subway scheme.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №57643
 19.12.2011
Apres: I realized today that I’m getting so excited and that it’s time to get connected with computers when in the universe our dean asked, “Listen, you’re such a smart boy, you’re learning great and all that... why did you get into a programmer? I would go to an economic faculty".
ALEXANDROFF: Hm... what’s it about? Maybe that’s his civic position.
Apres is fucking! Yes, I have a specialty - accounting, analysis and audit!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №57642
 19.12.2011
My mother calls and says:
Two courtyards on the garden ring mount the yard. One to another:
What did you do, fucking? You do not understand? Do you understand me?! to

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57641
 19.12.2011
From the survey "My boyfriend doesn’t shave his shoulder. How can I easily explain what I’m upset about?"
How does it look? The chest is hairy, the legs are hairy, and in the middle is a bald puppy, like a baby, crawling? Strangely...

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57640
 19.12.2011
Posts tagged with cats:
And one of my real acquaintances, when 25 years ago showed these naked cats, did so.
There was a broadcast and showed these "sphinx". What an angry grandmother they were!
And in a couple of days I come to my friend, and there this miracle is happening!
Where did you get it?! to
Where did I get, where did I get, where did I get, where did I get?
And the scratched hands show...
Seriously!
I can give him Skype!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №57639
 19.12.2011
I’m constantly singing dubstep, but all my friends think I’m epileptic.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57638
 19.12.2011
Howard you say? And you, the sorcerer of the Emerald City, read how an American girl, and her brainless, heartless and cowardly company led by her, sowed democracy to the right and to the left in a magical country.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №57637
 19.12.2011
Tanya: What you do
Cat Schrödinger: I will put Ubuntu on Mac
Q: Do you have a girlfriend?
Cat Schrödinger: Oops, the window is wrong. And the question in the topic, very even)))) No, no :(

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №57636
 19.12.2011
by Habr

XXX is
hike such a refrigerator, which with the service center is the fellow himself, then look and the dumb will begin to order the house himself, looks: ends, Bach - ordered
Reply Likes Time ago

YYYY
You probably wanted to say products.

ZZZ
You open the refrigerator and it’s crazy.

ZZZ
Sitting down, foods chew

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №57635
 19.12.2011
Diana: Advice something to watch down, and the mood is crazy.( by
The fucking? Talk about love.)
Diana: My boyfriend dropped me, well, fuck her that love!( by
So go about love in the ass.)

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