Unlike orgasm, it makes no sense to simulate happiness.

Birthday at work.
Larisa Anatolievna, what do you want to do?
Minerals without gas.
There is only gas.
Then the vodka.

(About the new "Star Wars")

Kensuke: How about a filmmaker?
Helen: Better than the previous two parts, but the logic and physics have not yet come together.
What about men’s romance? In the good sense!
Helen: I did not see Geev. Maybe they showed me when I fell asleep.
Kensuke: No, I am about robots and explosions!

#birdly
A buffalo is something, not a pigeon, the right word. If he, crashing on the carpet, developed such a speed within the room, so that the luster would crash to death, then what will the luster be.

Nothing special. Domestic popcorns and canary dogs, if they were not released and not trained to fly in the premises, are also broken up at once, without calculating where to fly. It happens that even death depends on the severity of CT. Some manage to do this even inside the cell at night, when they are sharply scared of something. Or, therefore, they cannot be kept in cages greater than 30 cm high, because they jump and spread. Birds are very fragile and at the same time strong, because flying requires huge and effective muscles, but at the same time lightweight design.

Saying is easy

>> On yuh such a "mother", who speaks to a young child with a mate.

How do you imagine it? Typho, an eleven-year-old boy says, "Fu, mom, you're turning out to be a ham and a bitch, we need to break up! ", gathers things and leaves at sunset...

I went to the store on Friday evening on a bicycle, bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in my bike cart.
Before leaving, I thought that if I fell from the bike, the bottle would break.
So I decided to drink the whole bottle immediately before going home.
And you know, it was a fucking right decision because I fell down seven times on the way home.

We work with the bank SociétéGénérale.
A colleague who deals with this bank sent a letter to the CEO with a report. All would be nothing but the subject of the letter.. "Save General" :D

A small life hack for those who recruit low-skilled staff: call the applicant in the evening, if sober - you need to take.

3aicheg: God, well and style. Such a feeling that this article was not printed on the keyboard, but carried out activities to write it using special technical means of entering text data into the operational memory of a personal electronic computing machine.

Wi-Fi allows you to see through walls.
If there is a cup of coffee on the table, you can see that there is a small object on the table, but it will not be possible to recognize it because of the indistinguishable shape.
xxx: But you can identify a person or, for example, a dog, and in fact, any object larger than four centimeters.
yyy: In life, the technique would be useful for law enforcement, for example, when seizing an institution with hostages.
ZZZ: Or the housekeepers. Check the presence of residents, dogs, neighbors before moving the apartment.

RadChand: Encountered the nick on the vast inets: SYPER DEBYLLLKA )))
...in the collection for BAHTYC, SKYPIDAR and Xyusha
(Bantyk, Skipidar and Kсюša)

I go to the bulgaria, I say GM (GM is our bulgaria, Galina Mikhailovna 60+ years old)
"Let us make an account!"
She is so dumb, she says:
"Why are you looking forward to it?"
I say "Yes"
She closes the window and gets a porn out. She is so demonstratively "hm, porn what it is!" and does not close it, but CREATES.

Start (It-Department), looking at the red expressionist tree of metal structures, straps and wire in our office:
- we always under the new year on the competition of decoration of the cabinet try to make a tree or Santa Claus, and you get either a murder machine, or the new year satan.
The Partner:
Every time we win a contest.

Every time after washing the cat, the cat cries at him: “Are you who?” I do not know you!!! to
The cat is terrified and does not understand anything.
The next day I admitted 😉

Electronic transactions in our company are approximately as follows:
1st In the actual system of the El. document circulation comes to me the order. I log in, read, note in the column "introduction".
2nd The secretary of the director makes the dispatch of this order by mail - 19 MB with all applications.
Three The Deputy Director, who has received an order from the Secretary in the same mail as me, sends this order to me with the instruction to read it. and 19 meters.
4 is The head of the department responsible for executing the order sends me an order. and 19 meters.
5 is The engineer of the department directly responsible for the task sends me an order. and 19 meters.
6 is The colleague notices inaccuracies in the second appendix to the order.
7 is The corrected version of the order is placed in our electronic documentation system. Repeat p.1
8 is The Secretary makes a newsletter by mail with the topic "correction in the appendix". There is, of course, a complete order. of 19 meters.
9 is The Deputy Director and the head of the department responsible for the execution also know how to use the mail, so I get another 38 meters.
10 is To facilitate the task, please contact the engineer of the application department in Excel format. I receive an email with the required files and, in any case, a corrected order. 19 meters of his mother.
P.S The mailbox is 400 meters. So we live.

Damn, the pigeon is a fool!
YYY: What happened?! to
I wake up today from strange sounds, I open my eyes and I see a pigeon climbing around my room and whispering wildly loudly.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! How did he get to you? Captured him?
I’m just used to sleeping with the windows open. So here. I start to get up slowly, thinking what to do with this invader. And this bastard resembled the carpet and exploded sharply. And... and killed herself in the lighthouse!!! to
XHH: Now the body is carried out. Now the carpet is washed.
The bird is sorry.

Teachers are demanding $900 million for salaries and $500 million for the optimization of the learning process. Money with untold bills, a plane to anywhere in the world and if you do not meet our requirements, we start putting pairs hostage.

I submitted documents for registration of property. I am approaching the automate for payment of duties (2000). There pops up a ready-made template - with payment details. I think it’s cool and not to kill. Press on "Continue" It pops out - "insert money". I contribute :--) Pops out - "pay out". I pressed. I know it is stupid. A check out. Payer (FIO) - RYGN VRFV KYIN (someone to see "trained"). What to do? This receipt will not be accepted. Aunt on the bench says - write a return statement. She wrote. The letter arrives.
I read it tonight tired and broken. It had to be preserved for the offspring. With his words.
Dear Fiona!
Upon your application (all details are killed) we inform you that the refund is made only to the person who made the payment. Your data does not coincide with the data of the citizen of RYGN VRFV KYYN. Therefore, we recommend to apply personally to the citizen of RYGN WRFV KYYN, or let the citizen of RYGN WRFV KYYN authorize you to represent his interests.
and rju. 2000 is a pity.

(About the startups)
xxx: When I first came to the office - I was a little shocked how it all looks, how cool everything is, stylishly expensive, everywhere maki, even if you don't need you two epos of sinema were given.
xxx: Truth when issued I got a paper on the fact that I accepted the property and bear mat responsibility for it
xxx: my table was more expensive than my spp for example
After three months I was fired.
After that, two more companies went bankrupt.

I went to the alcohol store on Friday evening on a bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in my bicycle basket. Before leaving, I thought that if I fell from the bike, the bottle would break. So I decided to drink the whole bottle immediately before going home. And you know, it was a fucking right decision because I fell down seven times on the way home.