It is about dragons.
It is about the rings.
It is about spiders.

How much shorter would the trilogy have been if Frodo had been digested in those caves.
And how much longer it would have been if it had turned into a spider-hobbit.

The trilogy would not have happened at all if Smaug had burned Bilbo at the first meeting.

It would be - as Sauron tries to take away the ring from the dragon) Here's what would be epic, not that byte with a walking tour!))

Moved to a new house. In the elevators, the walls are glued to protect the walls from scratches when moving. After some time, they are completely scheduled with announcements such as: "Master for an hour", "Electric for an hour", "Santechnik, Electricist" and so on. At first, it was outrageous, but after the thought came to the mind to add a couple of characters to the inscriptions, the whole house began to stumble: after a working day, the mood of the stock type "Master for an hour 18+" is very elevated.

You do not care which flag to run and jump under, and we do not care who and what our money and taxes go for.

I tell his story with a friend’s permission. Following his words...
Twenty-three years of age, in anticipation of a vacancy in the specialty, I decided to work temporarily in the factory, for the benefit of having little experience in working on jet machines. Man assumes, and God arranges, and he laughs at our plans, my temporary work turned out to be more than constant, for today twenty years of experience without little.
During the interview, the manager of the enterprise offered to work on unusual, constructed and assembled machines immediately at the factory, I agreed and quite quickly mastered the technique, soon after which unexpectedly for everyone and first of all for myself became a brigadier - a regulator in one person. Everything would be nothing, career growth and a good salary, but I needed to talk to the resigning brigadier, maybe I would have given up this honorary position, but he shines with a quiet joy, quickly handing over documents, keys, tools, etc. With a compassionate smile on my face, I touched my hand and literally dissolved in the air - the Cheshire cat was poured out... For me it was no news that the team was purely female, but I had no idea that one thing was to do repair and adjust machines, and another thing to manage ladies at such a young age on average just over thirty. It was an uncommonly cohesive collective resembling a forklift, the leadership served as a hammer, and I found myself in the middle.
Fifteen machinery - fifteen women and I am the sixteenth lucky man... The harsh factory girls chewed and spit out more than one brigadier, but I went on the principle and after six months earned an authority and at the same time learned to red, that is, to confuse me with anything or became impossible. In the second year, I learned to listen, understand and talk to fifteen people at the same time. The third year made me a burnt cynic thinking that nothing new about women is impossible to learn... In the fourth year I married, as I seemed to be the perfect girl, and in the fifth year, divorcing, I realized that all my knowledge of women - a penny price... In the seventh year of brigadierry in the hair appeared the first grey, and in the eyes, as I was told, appeared something inherent in the seventy-year-old old, I knew Zen and in a state of mystical contemplation I realized that it was not worth thinking about the logic and the motives of certain actions of women, because on the question - "Masha, why did you lie to Dahlia?" You can hear hysterical - "Dapatamushta", tears and such complex causal connections that the spirit captured as when reflecting on the infinity of the universe. In general, all life and production issues need to be solved at the level of intuition and over the years I seem to have immersed myself in this.
It's all a fairy tale, and the fairy tale is that I thought that with female spells and speeches you won't pass me, I say I know the price of female cowardice and psychological techniques to manipulate men... naive, recently realized that I have never learned anything...
The other day I went to the electric goods store, the girl the seller saw me - far from an athlete, balding and with a beginning to grow beer stomach, smiled joyfully and with a fascinating voice Rinata Litvinova said:
It is a pity that such men rarely come to us.
To admit, I thought someone followed me and instinctively turned around... The laughter of the seller sounded like a bell.
Did you know you were Bruce Willis? Go to my table, let’s talk about what such an imposing man needs in our store.
Immediately I turned from a factory worker to the owner of that worker, pulled in the stomach, invited the remnants of the hairdresser and went to transgive the earned money with honest labor.
The devil knows, or I was so lucky and it was the granddaughter of Wolf Messing who inherited his gift, or maybe the Gypsy camp opened a course on sales and she finished it with distinction, I don't know... I definitely know that I went to buy an electric fireplace and I got it as a gift from the store, but not only because such a beautiful, but just accidentally bought an air conditioning system for the whole apartment - because in the summer there will be no such discounts, electric fireplace with imitation of live fire - because stylish, the eighth generation TV - because it is worthy, my wife - an iPhone, my son - an ixbox, all the latest models, because I love them and soon New Year... A cherry on the cake turned out to be an electric foot massage machine for the teas - it is unknown at all
My wife began to look at me with concern, guessing if this was a single case of interference and if there was a recurrence then what form it would take. For every case, under a pleasant pretext, she took a credit card and did not even ask for bread to buy, afraid of what good cakes and cakes in the house.

Rose, what are you doing tonight? Just don’t think anything like that... And if you think, what’s your idea?

Katalina: Cooot, do you know the recipe for something simple with melted cheese?)

Whc is. You take a thick piece of bread, put a syrup and eat.

Catalan: What’s more difficult?

Whc: A salad leaf between them.

It is too difficult (

In the courtyard on December 13.

This is my third time drinking for the New Year.

1barsuk1: In Germany we can pick up a hollow tree. Here, on Christmas 25th and 26th of December, there are strangers who bring the tree out on the street. Take and put on the New Year and Christmas Orthodox.

At first she made me hysterical because I called tomato salad vegetable, because tomatoes are berries.
After a while, she asked me to jump from work to the store and buy her something with berries.
Of course, I bought her tomato pasta.

The babouin got to fuck the donkey... Oslo was tired of it and he went to the lion, like got this babouin the Lion called the babouin and wanted to offend, but then thought that the babouin is well managed with the debris and will argue with this brotherhood is not worth it. I thought and said, "I'm allowed to fuck the donkey once a day - no more, and you donkey - keep a diary - the babouin once stumbled on you, you put a barrel and you no longer agree." So they resolved. The next day, the babouin comes to Oslo and says, "Osel, I have a mood today, let me give you 3 times in advance, and you for 3 days will go through the hole and I will not come to you these days" Osel agreed... Give me to you seven times in advance, and you will put it in the notebook and I will not come to you again these days...... in a month the lion asks the donkey: how are the things going? Egg: Yes, how, how... How fucking and fucking, but the paper stuff added...

Collaboration with advertising agencies:

"I just prefer to work through intermediaries))) They take a percentage for translation from native to Russian)))... I don’t want to know what epithetics the customer has on me. And before him, I dare to notice, my mat doesn’t get... As a result, pulling out the money to the mediator, we get a constructive conversation of two respected people)))"

You know Yuri.
You can leave a girl.
A wife can
The guy there
children
Here is the Jura.
It is impossible to throw a fox away.

I get a letter, and I’m very concerned about its content (“ORCHIDES haven’t yet bloomed”). But I don’t care at all that it’s written in Chinese, the envelope is made of crystal, the postman is a huge frog, I have six fingers on each hand, and I live in a house that runs around Saturn with fun music.
That’s all I need to know about my dreams.
Psychologists say that dreams will become normal once external problems disappear. Sometimes they really leave for a while. Do the dreams change? Oh yes! Now the letter is written in Japanese, the envelope is made of clay, the postman is a giraffe, I have four fingers on my hands, and I live in a cave on the moon. The content of the letter has also changed. Now it says that the orchids have bloomed.

ElDog: "after us even a flood" in political language is called "the short horizon of planning"

In fact, conception can happen not directly with an unprotected act, but within a month after it.

Man, I have very, very bad news for you!

I don’t understand Russian localizers. Maybe they have some kind of karma? Well, this is a masterpiece, when MiFit gladly tells you in pure English that you slept BETTER than 6% of the program users. But the Russified phrase hecks you with the TABLE FACE that you slept worse than 94% of users!

Is it true that modern cameras can shoot videos?
YYY: Brother, what, have you just turned away? Congratulations, the USSR has collapsed.

I often worked with my wife at weddings. She was first an assistant, then joined and became a second photographer. One day we were working for a walk while my husband was photographing the guests, I shot a couple and let them and myself rest. I stand, chew sandwiches, a guest comes to me. Judging by the appearance, "Baba berry again and it doesn't matter that 45", although it is very thin.



Hi, and you are nothing. Can we go to the club after the banquet?

I am: Hi I am a little married.

D: Is it a problem? She will know nothing. You say you were delayed at the wedding. I will give money.

I: First, I don’t sell my body for money, second, five minutes ago you posed to my wife.

Q: Is that girl with the camera your wife? Well, she’s still a Sicilian, believe that this night will be a very useful experience for you.

I: No, thank you

D: Oh the fool...



Afterwards, she walked to the operator and the host, but eventually left with the cook.

Once drawing a card in one bank, the code word entered "parallelepid". In vain, it was necessary to have a "square", because no more operators can pull. It took some time to learn the information about early closure, to unsubscribe from calls, etc. Every call to the operator (O) is just a torment. One of them:

I: Allo, I am Ivan Ivanovich, 1. 01. the 01. the I want to know about [...]

A: It is well. Please indicate the code word.

I: Paralleled

Sorry, the code word is not correct. Try to remember another.

I am: Paral-le-Piped

A: (Self dictated by myself) Paralypiped not suitable

I am Lee.

A: Paralympic

I: Le Le

A: It did not fit. One of L?

I : three!

A: It did not fit. At the end of the word what...

Please look at Yandex.

(Hard breathing for 20 seconds)

A: It is right. ...

negative feedback on the delivery of one online store.
comments to the review: "o, they have long been like this, and before NG they have some pollution in general.My friend was delivered unpacked and even slightly assembled designer for the child! The curier in the electric car was bored, see"