bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №74674
 22.12.2012
I don’t want to seem boring, but it’s the saddest end of the world in my memory.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №74673
 22.12.2012
My husband gave me a gold ring.
I sit and listen...

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74672
 22.12.2012
The best way to dislike a woman is to marry her.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №74671
 22.12.2012
My husband is writing a doctoral...it’s to the word...
He goes to the X-ray. A young beautiful doctor, critically looking at him, says, “Well... cover up the most valuable.” When he looked around, he said, “What’s in your head?” She thought, “You’re the first person to think of the head.”

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №74670
 22.12.2012
If a woman says, “You just don’t worry,” it’s actually too late to worry.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №74669
 22.12.2012
Ohhhhhh In the morning on TV report, around a house, the developer began cutting down the city park for the construction of new buildings. People went out into the yard of the house to prevent cuts and express their dissatisfaction. Uncle policemen went out to the meeting, declared the rally unauthorized and dispersed people from their own yard to their homes. The authorities refused to comment.
Oh well. I don’t know of any other country where people can breathe so freely.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74668
 22.12.2012
It would seem, what is easier: get a signature from Hope Nikolaevna. But! Hope Nikolayevna celebrates the birthday of Anna Egorovna in the office of Olga Evgenievna, which was locked by Natalia Anatolievna, so that no one would interfere with Nadia Nikolayevna and Anna Egorovna, and the key was left by Elena Andreevna, who went to Alevtina Mikhailovna, but did not come, because she met Anastasia Pavlovna, with whom they went to drink tea to Nina Vladimirovna, but Nina Vladimirovna has three other aunts in the office, and because chocolate is not enough for everyone - Nina Vladimirovna, Anastasia Pavlovna and Elena Andreev went to the office of temporarily absent on the birthday of Nadia Nikolaevna.

I am standing and guarding...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74667
 22.12.2012
Worse than female bodybuilding is only male art gymnastics.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74666
 22.12.2012
Coincidentally I listened to a conversation between two girls discussing the dignity of their young men:
What about your big?
I don’t know, but how big is it?
Here is my two fingers!
The second thought for a long time and said: - Then my big. Two fingers and a...

[ + 28 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74665
 22.12.2012
Serwak fell, the actions of admin:
1)Admin-choleric - fucking fisted on the server shob that got up
2)Admin-Sangvinik - rushes over everyone who runs away from the fact that the serwak has fallen
3)Admin-flegmatic - is quietly going to fix, although he is cheerful
4)Admin-melancholic - crying and lamenting, dreaming of dismissal from work

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №74664
 22.12.2012
In the electric car came a strenuous, dirty, stinking, but young Gypsies. For mercy, it is understandable. A woman sitting next to him stood in his pocket, for a long time. The Gypsy patiently, with her outstretched hand, shakes, and does not depart from us. The woman, finally, pulled out of her pocket a towel and tastefully, looking into the eyes of the Gypsies, shuddered :-) the trollface, probably, should look like this.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №74663
 22.12.2012
Discussion at the forum of the post on the fight against hamstring:
Dr.Provocateur: I know a girl who was once stabbed in a vegetable tent.
During the whole summer, twice a day passing by, she stopped and
informed buyers that the vegetables here are bad, thin and wormy
This is the author, a misguided character, and you, the author,
The average tolerance.
Silver: They told me a story.
Primordial town, toilet on the beach. The sorting itself is free, but a piece of toilet paper can be bought for five rubles from the grandmother sitting at the entrance (I have the feeling that she was going to trade there at all). The pieces she breaks off microscopic, and one aunt of large sizes cautiously asks to wrap out more, because I will not be enough, which receives a rejection and echoing note about the fat ass, which the roll has not struck from the deceased old entrepreneur.
Since then, my aunt has been standing every day with this sort of roll and giving everyone a paper for FREE. Something about a week or two, telling the grandmother that she is at the resort until the end of the summer and she is absolutely not in a position to engage in charity. The grandmother, unable to withstand, stopped trading papers, and after that the aunt disappeared - apparently returned to rest =)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №74662
 22.12.2012
Today there was a quarrel between my sister and my mother. The reason was the removal of my sister’s VK page. After such manipulations, the mother could no longer control the private life of her daughter and in orderly order insisted on restoring the page.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №74661
 22.12.2012
Every time you look through a joke with the signature: "This country is invincible", the phrase is measured: "This is the country of megabytes"...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74660
 22.12.2012
I dreamed of something stupid.
Tell me, tell me, I have a dream.
XXX: See what it means to squeeze drinks in a condom?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74659
 22.12.2012
@Weiskleinewolf: The first channel is burning! - At the end of the last block of News, about the panic about the end of the world, the host said goodbye - "I hope, until tomorrow".

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74658
 21.12.2012
A child of uncertain sex with a doll in his hands plays - runs on how much and high the border. The drunk man looked at him long and carefully and said:
If you are a girl, you are a very brave girl. If you are a boy, throw out a doll.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №74657
 21.12.2012
X: Now when drawing up the reference book found the company "Old Rom and Quiet Misha". XD is
Y: Ah, when Roma ceases to be diligent, Misha ceases to be calm.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74656
 21.12.2012
Today my son (7 years old) wrote a letter to Santa Claus: "Give Santa Claus." I want you to give me a new year plan. But if you’re telling me I didn’t deserve it, give it to your dad!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №74655
 21.12.2012
The children of the haishnikovs, when playing machines in the sandbox, are always sober, they have a state meter in order, the inspection is not delayed.

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