bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57192
 05.12.2011
I forgot to go to the election, so I apologize to the whole country and if there is still a mess in the country, I am ready to admit that it is my fault.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №57191
 05.12.2011
Why do cafes and restaurants clean up menus?
222: Not to bother at the table. A normal restaurant has a website and a normal restaurant has the internet. You go to the site, look at the menu and do not hurt the brain, neither yourself nor people.
333: Oh, soon you will not have to leave the house - the dishes will be pumped directly into the stomach via the Internet.
444: Gastritis begins from the Trojan.
333: Eye, batenka - from the Trojan helminthiasis will begin :(
555: Your rectum is blocked! To unlock the rectum, send SRAT SMS to 1234

[ + 82 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57190
 05.12.2011
XXX: Do not dissolve the cava of other people.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №57189
 05.12.2011
My wife was lying down, and I was in another room in the net of a buck... I hear a whirling, and such a weak voice: “Wooow!” I approach, I think, or bring water, or get into the lobby...
And he asks:
What is reversible and irreversible encryption?
......

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57188
 05.12.2011
My husband is of Estonian origin. We watched with him somehow the movie "Travel to America", with Eddie Murphy in the main role.Well there is one of the last episodes where Eddie Murphy(E) persuades the girlfriend(D) to marry him.
D: But you didn’t tell me you’re actually a prince!
E: I didn’t say this because I wanted you to love me as I am.
The cinema goes on. My husband, looking me in the eyes, said:
Kat, I am actually the King of Estonia. And I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want you to love me as I am, and I didn’t want you to leave me.
:D

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №57187
 05.12.2011
From the Dating Site:

He is 32 years old: Hi. to talk?
She, 28 years old: greetings
How is the mood? and ;)
She: Good and you
She: What do you do
She: You probably realized I was stupid.
O_O
c) Datakeeper

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №57186
 05.12.2011
HH: He is a fool. "Picked to the carrier, I made the bottles with the flame mixture - we leave."
Fuck, I’ve been there for over an hour. They came, and he with such a pleasant lily from the package gets these bottles...Plastic!

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57185
 05.12.2011
Internet on cards, Internet on cards.
But try to tell the current generation about handwritten referrals! And diplomas ordered from the transcriber, because his handwriting crumbles...

[ + -2 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57184
 05.12.2011
Oh wow! It happened!! Today my mom brought home the magnetic calendar on the refrigerator, 2011-2012 and it ends in November!!!!!!!! to
P.S If it goes to the best, I was promised sex!!!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №57183
 05.12.2011
The longer you walk in virgins, the more fantastic the thoughts of bed and the stronger the disappointment of real life.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №57182
 05.12.2011
Ten years ago, a friend told me about a friend.

So this acquaintance just got the rights and literally the next day took place the first exit "to the world" (with her husband to the right for safety). They go, everything seems to be normal... Naturally, the GAI employee was drawn unexpectedly (their employees have this “sixth sense”), demanded to stop...
Then imagine what was going on in the soul of our newly appeared road participant, as in a slow shooting she slowly (well very slowly) came to what it was she should stop... and what happened? What have I done? How to stop? So many cars around? In total, over 50-70 meters the car was stopped (not without the slightly obscene involvement of the husband).
Then imagine the mental reactions of the GAI employee: well, what is this happening, they are drunk, or the criminals are not good (in cultural translation of course)??? He ran behind the car and in the shower.
He was prepared for the worst, he might even die.
The culmination:
He runs and, suffocating, asks: Why did you not stop right away?
At the request of an employee?
- She (naturally trying to cocktail - and what is left of a woman
to do?Oh, and you somehow so unexpectedly pulled out that piece of yours...

An employee of GAI and her husband (which is on the right) fold in half and cry with the sublimation and the suspense...

After laughing and wiping away tears, the GAI employee tries to take a serious expression of the face and says: woman, a thing is your husband's, and I have a rod... and he let them go without any formalities...

[ + 49 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57181
 05.12.2011
If in a dispute with a girl you are armed only with logic, facts and common sense - you have no chances.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №57180
 05.12.2011
Bravo to the correspondents (lenta.ru and others) who prevented the casting of the bulletins and told about it! You are doing an incredibly important thing. More strength and health.

[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №57179
 05.12.2011
The counterfeit went well.
No votes were observed during violations.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №57178
 05.12.2011
A huge thank you to the man who described a way to deceive a party of scammers and thieves who want to buy our votes for money! The method of putting the field on a transparent film and photographing, and then removing the film and putting the REAL field not for Edro helped deceive the scammers - to vote for another party and earn 900 rubles. Don’t let us manipulate, be more astute!))

[ + 71 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57177
 05.12.2011
In Soviet childhood, I had a lot of dolls. There was always something in them, so I twisted my legs and pulled out plastic flat circles, a few from each doll. And so far I am tormented by the question – what fucking thing did they do there?! to

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №57176
 05.12.2011
If the citizens of Russia really had the opportunity to express their free will in the elections, most of them would simply be rattled into the electoral urn.

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57175
 05.12.2011
A friend burned, named a puppy from the breed of searches - Google =))

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №57174
 05.12.2011
xxx: Listen, there is a CD. it has paths. if these paths are straightened and placed in a line, I'm wondering what length will be? and :-)
I think it’s 700 meters :-)

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57173
 05.12.2011
To sit on a window, in a trunk and one socket, with a weekly chestnut, to watch people passing by, to bread a cooled pot borsch with a piece of chestnut baton, to listen to Vivaldi and think about her – is it vanilla?

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