bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91005
 12.12.2013
The story of "Namordniki", "bites - does not bite", reminded an old anecdote:
How do you define Beret or not?
It is simple: there is a mouth, that is, it takes.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №91004
 12.12.2013
From the discussion of the virtual museum on the Habr.

The toilet exhibition was the best :)
YYY: Finally it is! There was no place to go to the toilet on the internet.
Zzzz: The comments were usually...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №91003
 12.12.2013
Talk about countries:
Hungary is forgotten. Which and Hungary, and Hungary, and Magyar...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №91002
 12.12.2013
A dog can eat, or more precisely, go down a sufficient amount of poisoned snare through a hammer.

A dog can do everything if he walks vegetables on a leash.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №91001
 12.12.2013
DerArto: Today is the anniversary of the best book in the fantasy genre ever written in Russia. 20 years of the Russian Constitution. Hurra comrades!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №91000
 12.12.2013
I sit in a row to the venereologist... I blame myself for carelessness... The pop radio somehow bubbles in the corner... And suddenly from there Roma-Beast:
"No more to catch! I got everything I needed!"
by Scuco...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90999
 12.12.2013
from the summary of the events of Tychoretska: A citizen who missed a car "Zaporožec" appealed to the office. As it was established, he left the car on the side of the road and left for business. At this time, the driver of the VAZ-2109, who passed by, took Zaporozhets on a tow and drove to the base for the receipt of metal breakdowns in the town. Viselkovsky region

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №90998
 12.12.2013
A friend of mine (he once worked in the tax office) told me that some firms wrote a note on their own. They came to them with a check, everything was shaken for a long time, in the end, the check was considered an audit, which excluded the need to spend on a paid auditor.
Written by Warehouse

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90997
 12.12.2013
I gave my daughter a gift. For six months I did not know what to call it. With the cold it is called exclusively "STAR".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №90996
 12.12.2013
Today we said that from each employee will retain an amount for a gift to the new year to the gender, to the tree so to say... Judging by the number of employees in the company, this tree will lie in the luggage bag of a new foreign mark...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90995
 12.12.2013
Just when the next time the owner of the dog says to you, “She doesn’t bite,” show him a trauma or pneumatics (you can shoot, but it’s full) and with the words “He doesn’t shoot.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90994
 12.12.2013
News headlines by filter "Electronic Arts"

The Consumerist named Electronic Arts the worst company in the U.S.
Electronic Arts named the ideal company for gay and lesbian

How accurately can a huge corporation be called a collection of pirates...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90993
 12.12.2013
Thank you to all the Volgograd drivers who helped people get to work during today’s transport jerk. There are more people!! to

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90992
 12.12.2013
xxx: sex for food - it is below the plinth to go down

You are not apparently hungry.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90991
 12.12.2013
I am not pleased with Russian cinema. The hernias suffer.
There are no new ideas – then Sherlock Holmes is reimagined, then the Musketeers...
Add some transformers. Blow up the entire budget in the fixed animation of Optimus, who sits down the whole film and thinks: Whether I am trembling, or I have decepticons.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90990
 12.12.2013
Have you seen the letter R with a whisper?
[15:05:35] Phil is R?
[15:05:57] Couple: It’s at half six... and there’s normal

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90989
 12.12.2013
What do you want from Santa Claus, dear?
Eelloo: Home in Spain
No house under the tree will not fit, something smaller let me
Eelloo: then the keys to the home in Spain
xxx: o_o

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №90988
 12.12.2013
I write to a working wife (J), terribly pleased, on Skype:
I: Alice * daughter, five and a half years old * today almost crushed a couple... All the wires in the pair correctly disassembled, but the forces were not enough to crush.
Jennie, I have bad news for you.
I : What?
My daughter is mentally retarded.
I: What are you fucking?
J: If I had read Tannenbaum’s “Computer Networks” on the night of the third round, I would have administered at her age. It only helps to pull. Do you not see a delay in development?! to

He even left Skype out of indignation.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90987
 12.12.2013
I am an ordinary young man, I work, the salary is decent, the job is not bad, and it has nothing to do with computers. The fact is that at one time I deliberately abandoned the career of a sysadmin and a programmer (although the tips were, and still are, very good). This is not mine. Well, it turned out that with comps I was on "you", once I set up my device, it works with me, etc., for several years without failures and reinstallations until the next upgrade. And all the necessary actions with a notepad or compound I can do myself. Reinstall the window, clean, change the thermopast, put the drivers, and so on, nothing special. I don’t like to do it, only if necessary. Coming from work, you want to rest with your family, or go online, or watch a movie.

But comrades come who bring their notebook or computer "look" what’s going on with it. The screw has flown, or the screw, or the program must be placed, or cleaned from dust. Even money is offered. Only, for some reason, the service is not carried, but to me, because I "understand". I suggest in exchange to wash the floor, or exhaust the carpet. They disagree, they are offended. And personally, it is easier for me to wash the floor than to freeze with another note.

They don’t want to work with their head or hands.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90986
 12.12.2013
"this is what you need to keep silent."

The namordnik is needed by every dog outside the house or a special square for a walk - so that it can not accidentally eat a poison for rats or a catlet with isoniazide. The squares are made by dog owners themselves, as do car owners - legal parking spaces for their barrel, in order not to pay the increased fines.
Learn to live civilizedly: every property has the cost of ownership that the owner pays.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna