bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №123838
 02.02.2016
Do you have any erotic fantasies?
There is.
Tell me.
I’m doing love under palm trees on an exotic island in a tropical night. There is a noise of the sea, huge stars in the sky. It smells of unknown herbs. The wine turns the head.
Am I from above or from below?
You stayed at home.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №123837
 02.02.2016
When I was a kid in the 90s, in the shops everything was on the balance, my mom sent to the store for a laurel sheet.When I came there, the seller asked how much to hang in grams? You just can’t imagine my mom’s face when I brought home 1 kg of lavish.

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123836
 02.02.2016
The local oceanarium decided in the framework of popularization of science to shoot the show "birth of the shark online". The webcam captures the shark’s egg, illuminated on the other side by a lamp, inside every couple of minutes the fish moves and tries to get out. For the rest of the time, he breathes with the frogs. I have been watching for the fourth day. What do you know about meditation?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №123835
 02.02.2016
Nicole White: Sometimes I couldn’t sleep. Two o’clock at night and even honeys! I write a bro on Skype, he sends me an article that Mozart helps from insomnia. OK to OK! Until 4 in the morning I listened to Mozart on YouTube, and in 4 villages watched "Amadeus" by Miloš Forman. The movie is divine! 2.5 fly as a moment, music, actors, the pace of storytelling, and there is everything perfect! Just that... I never slept that night. So, successful, Mozart does not work, and I recommend the movie ;D

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №123834
 02.02.2016
News about the missing train.
Fauna Fló: There is nothing surprising in the fact that the composition stands at the border station - there is regular documentation, check of cargo and technical condition of wagons. In Europe, it is necessary to change carriages. This train will not go anywhere. It will arrive.
Sergey Perchin: I am embarrassed to ask. Is it China or Kazakhstan?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123833
 02.02.2016
Fuck, why do you have to put the shit in an empty place? Some people like the car, others don’t. What does this have to do with you specifically? If you need a car, buy it. No need – do not buy.
No is! I have to prove to everyone that my opinion is correct. There are no correct opinions when the answer depends on the subjective assessment of a person. I love green, but the fact that I love it doesn’t mean that green is the right color in the world. Do not stupid.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №123832
 02.02.2016
From our window the Red Square is visible. There is only a little street out of your window. I understand Dimon.
Vladimir Vladimirovich, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №123831
 02.02.2016
Programming Response to:

Programming training tasks:
Find the number of numbers containing just numbers, and among them - the number of numbers with equal number of just and uneven numbers.

Infinity is 0. Which t is such and the result.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №123830
 02.02.2016
He said, “Lord, how did I get stupid?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123829
 02.02.2016
Here is here:
Here is the revelation again:

When you take the cucumbers off the bed, they are alive. When you cut it, it is alive. When you chew him, he is alive. You are tormenting a poor plant. Comrade of Vegan. Now can you sleep peacefully knowing how you torment a living creature?

Have you pulled out that cucumbers with roots from the bed?
And you know that many plants specifically have delicious fruits?
They reproduce in this way.

You only aggravated your comment. Vegans are now not just livegloves, but livegloves-fruits. Or the genitals.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №123828
 02.02.2016
xxx: There is a clear protocol according to which a person is recognized as obsessed, not just mentally ill. For example, the obsessed person must speak a dead or little-known language. Only if a person meets all the criteria is called an exorcist. At the same time, not every priest has the right to exorcism - special preparation and blessing of the Pope of Rome is required.

yyy: I imagine a picture: a guy runs on the ceiling and walls, spells people with touch, brings human sacrifices to the glory of Satan, calls an exorcist, and the guy is like this: "London is the capital of Great Britain", and an exorcist: "Nahera you called me, he speaks in English, that is not obsessive!"

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123827
 02.02.2016
The logic of the Emperors of the Star Wars impresses me:
Are you the designer of the star of death to which the resources of an entire empire went and which managed to blow up with one successful torpedo?
Yes Yes
Great, then we want to offer you a new, even bigger order.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №123826
 02.02.2016
When the moderators will stop missing this eternal story of impenetrable nonsense.

Zzz: Would you know what moderators are reading?

Hm, don’t they make it all themselves???

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123825
 02.02.2016
About the car:
I bought it with my husband three years ago. "In nature" they went with enthusiasm for the first three months every weekend. Then it started "Now I want to drink beer, let’s lead you"- "I also want beer, let’s lead yourself"- "and let’s go on the electric drive, romance still"- "and let’s go".
In restaurants we order a taxi - we are not alkashi, but a glass of wine - a drink of cognac you want to drink with good food.
They were purchased in hypermarkets for about six months. Then we started ordering delivery, as dragging a mountain of bags from the store to the car and from the car home was also lazy.
I go to work on foot, my husband on the subway - half an hour, with the car - 40 minutes, and sometimes all one and a half hours when traffic jams. But he does not give up and rides out of pure stubbornness, otherwise "nafiga then generally bought".
This is how it happens too.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №123824
 02.02.2016
Organizing Committee of the Annual Prize. O. Bender's "Fraud and Bullying of the Year" faced unexpected challenges. It turned out that it was almost impossible to award the 2015 prize.
The founding brothers of the project "Eat like at home!" went into a deaf unconsciousness. Together with the wife of one of them, leading almost the same-name television program.
The logo of the project has not been patented, has not yet been approved and has not even been developed.
It was not possible to find a project organization developing at least a typical cafe project of this network.
The location of the land designated for construction has not been established.
Moreover, there are no stones in nature with pumped inscriptions "Here the first cafe in Russia will be erected...".
There is no press service created by the network.
There is no website on the internet.

I was once again convinced that we absolutely correctly determined the winner of our 2015 award! - spoke one of the organizers of the award of the name of the Turkish subject Ostap-Suleiman-Berta-Maria-Bender-Bay.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №123823
 01.02.2016
The internet, you are crazy.
A sociopath is a person who does not care about decency. Just like Lieutenant Rzhevsky. Sociopaths engage in hooliganism, small scams, theft and big politics. They have no communication problems. There is nowhere to take problems with communication in a person who lies not red and steals without thinking.
People who avoid society are called sociophobes. by FOB. The phobia.
It is not so difficult to remember. Stop repeating the shit.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123822
 01.02.2016
Are you really a businessman?
YYY: A century of options not to see!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №123821
 01.02.2016
Mirabela Manolesku: Does the Colobok's eyes blink when he rotates?

Vladimir Ilyin: Of course, the eyes did not suffer in the process of vibrating, as the column was rolled side by side. It was because of this mode of movement that it got its name. Movement on the side allowed the bell to keep her eyes open, but her ears suffered. On the old drawings, you can see that the ear shells are virtually absent, as they have wiped off the ground.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123820
 01.02.2016
Tagged 19472
You are stupid. The fact that you personally help the car wheel over a bunch of different places does not give you a reason to decide for everyone. And yes - for someone whose public transport performs the necessary functions of a person more successfully / cheaper / more convenient, the car is really unnecessary. People are different, and there is nothing to worry about different from your way of life and teach others how to live.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123819
 01.02.2016
Yesterday I put the children to sleep... the lights are turned off, all on the beds, I rest on the couch... silence.
Together.
and Mathew:
- Ma, and you know the painting of Repin, oh Ilya Efimovich Repin "Burlaki on the Volga"?
Ilya Efimovich Repin!!I have clarified :D
Yes, and what then?
I know the name of one of the burlacs.
How is?
The cushion.
OOOO...
Why is the Russian flag overturned on the ship they carry?
- I don't know the son, I didn't pay attention (and there is a flag at all?)
I have three options for answering:
The artist was inattentive.
The flag is turned by the wind.
B) He did it intentionally.
What do you think is the answer?
Matthew, I don’t know, I don’t mind.
I don’t know either, I think.
God, what my eight-year-old son thinks of at night.

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