Gastrolers
Former Kabebeshnik Yuri Tarasovich, recently delighted with the old story about the war, which he heard at the country seats from a friend of Maxim.
Grandfather Maxim managed to conquer the whole war with a sniper and at the same time survive, although behind him is a whole German cemetery, scattered from
Stalingrad to Prague... He, by the way, always, when he travelled with veteran delegations in the DDR, he liked to insert on the occasion: “I went to war as a volunteer, destroyed the German company in full composition and returned home to my mother...”
“German friends” in response sourly smiled and this sour smile every time very pleased Grandfather Maxim...
But history is not about that.
Sitting near Tarasych in the garden, the grandparents argued: which country had the weapons better?
They argue for a long time, even argue, so they didn't come to anything and decided that everyone will say about their own, in which he understands. There were no pilots among them, so they decided not to argue about planes. They started with grandfather Maxim: "Which sniper rifle was the most?"
Grandfather coughed and:
I worked with German and English, and of course with three lines.
I won’t tell you which is better.
Everyone has their own “weakness.”

Everyone was disappointed:
“Maxim, you’ve gotten... Edak and we can. Tell me that it all depends.
From man...
The Grandfather Maxim:
And I will say. Of course from man. This is not a ball, but a
They will never play football.
On the contrary, people can do such wonders with a three-line, which can not be.
When I was already a former sniper, ridiculous rumors began to reach me about some kind of hollow – a sniper, who rolls the Germans looking out of the dungeon from a distance of 1000 meters!
I then understood that five hundred to six hundred meters is already the limit, and at a distance of a kilometer, so much needs to be foreseen: and the temperature of the air, and humidity, and the departure of the bullet to the right because of the rotation, I am not talking about the speed and direction of the wind... and this with the perfect weapons and ammunition.
Of course I did not believe.
But Hohol-Sniper has grown up with new legends, they came from those people I couldn't believe, then I had to think, how does he do it?
And imagine what it was for the Germans: at first they thought that the Russian sniper had a hat-invisible, he always gets, and he himself is nowhere and judging by the terrain and can not be... Then when they realized that the sniper was sitting a kilometer from them, they worried even more... It is apparent that the Russians had a secret rifle that would change all the tactics of the war.
Our entire colonels asked each other about the Hohla-Sniper, at least for a day.
The sniper came on a tour, pulled out a couple of officers from a kilometer and went to another section of the front.
After that, for another week, you could safely walk along the front line in full height and collect mushrooms, the Germans perceived this as a temptation and pressed their heads to the ground even more.
I finally met the legendary sniper when he arrived.
Tour to our neighbors. I had to walk ten kilometers through the forest, but I could not meet. His name is Kravchenko.
Of course he had a secret...
It turned out that this Kravchenko was not a man... but a whole family: an uncle and three nephews and all Kravchenko.
Well, of course, I will report them to you, and they really were real artists: they carried with them almost half a day with weapons and tools. Here you and helicopters - to measure the speed of the wind and telescopes and stereo tubes and all kinds of torpedo-shaped dolls on ropes. I was even jealous.
It was before they had a doll that was “throwing” another doll behind the rope.
They treated the weapons as porcelain services - rifles were carried only in boxes, with ammunition almost slept, so that the powder did not squeeze.
But the most important thing is their "brand" style: they occupied a position four in a row with each other, the uncle measured, calculated and gave all different corrections - one "button" to the right, the other to the left, the third, so to keep, to yourself somehow...
And such a harmony was developed in them that, almost without speaking, all four "lipped" with one shot, so the Germans perceived them as one sniper and no matter what the bullets were scattered, always one of the four hit the target.
The personal account of the killed Germans, Kravchenko supplemented strictly in turn, because it is not known whose bullet the German has in the head.
The most surprising case of their work was when they killed a senior German officer through a steel barge.
The grandparents moved:
“Maxim, don’t lie like through the barge? Stop, it can’t be...
Grandfather Maxim continued:
- So the German, as you thought you could not, so it was.
Killed...
Imagine: the front line went along the river, on the one hand the Germans dug and they knew that on the other hand, they were guarded by our snipers, and a decent distance - 800 - 900 meters, around the plain.
Kravchenko killed several soldiers and spent the whole day wearing an officer stereo tube, but never shot, so as not to betray themselves. Waiting for the head.
But the officer was not stupid, nor did he look stupid. Even to cry.
Suddenly they see: a long, rusty, burnt, half flooded barge is dragging along the river, and when it flooded, completely blocked the officer from the snipers, the German "does not fail" - decided to melt the handles and legs that were stuck over the day, and stood up to full height.
Kravchenko killed him immediately, although they did not see through the barge, but felt that he must look out of the dam.
Just a German, like you were not a sniper and did not know that at such a distance the bullet describes such a high bow that it will fit even a barge, a meter and a half, two high...

Monya and Dodik meet at Richelievskaya. Monika asks :
Do you know who Columbus is?
And Columbus? I never heard that name.
The ignorance! Columbus was the man who discovered America.
It is awesome! How do you know this?
I go to school three times a week and I study there.
Two weeks later they meet again, and Monia asks again:
Do you know who Gutenberg is?
- The one who lives in Moldova and sells fish on the Prvoza?
Here is the donkey! Gutenberg was the man who invented printing.
It is interesting! How do you know all this?
I said I go to school three times a week.
Two weeks later they meet again. This time Dodik asks:
“Say me, Mona, and you know who Slemenson is?
No, I never heard of him.
“Shlemson is the man who sleeps with your wife three times a day.
a week when you go to your evening school.

It was a long time ago, but it is true. In the early nineties, the subway in the morning battles, so you can only breathe in when the neighbor is exhaling (here, the main thing is not to fail), you take exclusively compulsive poses, and you place your legs in two rows above strangers. At the next station, people are trying to squeeze into an already full car, which, as seen at first glance, is possible only by running or using heavy building equipment such as bulldozers. The mechanic once in a fifth attempts to close the doors, from which the different parts of the passengers' bodies, preventing, clearly, the closure of these very doors. Desperate to continue on schedule, the driver rattles the microphone: “Don’t hold the door, it’s an ordinary train, it’s not going to a bright future!” The people roared and partly fell out of the train from laughter, the doors closed, everyone left, but the trip became more fun, the people, so to speak, pushed already more joyfully.

Yyy: I made two certificates for both guns and driving, I go to the psychiatrist, I say that the certificates should be two, she asks, why two? I did not endure, I admitted that I wanted to ride a tank and shoot people. reports have been given.

My wife brought her little toy from her parents. A dog who had been the subject of the abuse of her little nephew and cat for more than a year before (judging by the smell). Once upon a time, this toy, when pressed on it, said, “I love you!”"But it has been broken for a long time. This dog was washed, cleaned and dried for 2 days on a battery. And on the second day, at 6 o’clock in the morning, this dog (apparently from the last of these and in a spark of gratitude) pronounces, “I love you!” and silences forever. It was very cute.

(xxx) 23:10: How do I serve you?
(YYY) 23:11 Yes
(xxx) 23:12 :How is a girl?
(YYY) 23:12 :Yes
(xxx) (23:14) :And now think in what format I arrange you more
(yyy)(23:15) :in 3D format

DKVV_2: Yesterday came KamAZ "sovok"... it was loaded on the edge of the boards with coal... I call back - 8(!) Tons she brought me.... a mountain of coal overcovered the whole yard. Here, on the second day, I melt with a spade, I solve the task of throwing 8 in a coal designed for 6 tons! 0 - O
PONTELEMON_1: What level have you reached in Tetris?

I went to the dentist today to treat my teeth. I went to the doctor that I bothered at school.
I didn’t even have time to apologize ;(

The back of the closet
SM: So what about him?
Posts Tagged: portal
Open the closet, take a step.
You are in the closet.
Sm [SteeL]: suddenly

Nazarpunk: ppc, before she said put me a screw, or my parents left, then do a massage, or study kills, lose let me trachaza my husband sibalso))

An acquaintance who develops facial recognition systems says:
It looks like a normal system works, but on Mondays it works fucking.

Title of the City News website:
A resident of Tikhvin entered a shopping center and obtained a 10th sentence.

I am now from the generation when law enforcement guards were called menths.

Pilot: Fuck the fuck! I broke my brains trying to imagine how a vampire girl behaves when she has critical days. > 0 0

My wife has a shirt. I stole my seat in the car. It wasn’t surprising to hear the question from the girl who was driving: "What animal did you drive here"...

C is slow
In London, Russian students raped an 18-year-old Malaysian schoolmate. Their names have been established: Norir Davtyan - 23 years old and Armén Simonian - 19 years old
>.<

My neighbors have a terrible life.)
At 7 a.m. in their apartment it is perfectly heard as the youngest of the neighbors on top plays the piano.
At 10 a.m. I hear her older sister warm up before work (choreographer)))
In the afternoon, she returns from work and begins to work out combinations of Russian dance on the drops, to rehearse pieces from the Irish steppe, to listen to Mills and traditional Japanese music. If the mood is bad, then Fall Out Boy.
At two the younger comes back from school and starts racing with cats and falling taburets))
And all the other things ?
About 10 p.m. the elderly also plays the piano, but her works are louder, more complicated and longer.
Well, sometimes you can hear something vocal in the kitchen area and three nights)))
I honestly don’t understand why they don’t just say hello to me and even smile at the same time)))
P.S I bought a blockflash today.

I was in the bus and thought to whom of the girls to give up the seat - the most beautiful to smile in response, or the thickest to stop kicking my leg.

By the way, contrary to the common myth, the majority of the population can easily push into the mouth, and then take back the usual incandescent bulb.

I sit at home and wipe my electric guitar with vodka. Well, she and skin fat with dirt wipes out well, and the lacquer does not spoil. I ate sweets that I pulled out of the kitchen. I put the guitar on the stand. I just turn to the compass, my mom comes in.
A five second scene. I sit at the table, on the table a bottle of vodka, candy. The Mother’s phrase:
Are you sad, son?