I (thinking to infinity): the spoon has become so light... maybe because I have become big and strong?
Rational Poker Face: This is a fork. Maybe because of that?

I have accumulated 16 kg of iron dozen, I am looking for a box to bury :-)))

The guy works in a computer company "Astral"
He was invited to the Eastern goods store. Imagine - in the semi-dark hall, hoisted with canyons and hanged with amulets, wrapped in the smell of snails and the charming music of the east, an untouched weaker programmer enters and says with a mysterious voice: "Hello. And I’m from Astral..."

X: Are you at home?
XXX is wow!
XXX: Did you decide to ignore me?
YYY: Wait
XXX: Where are you there?
(20 minutes have passed)
You know, I’m tired of it. You drive into the house who is hit, you disappear at work, maybe you have someone now? My heart is broken by the thought that someone else is lusting you now.
XXX: I can’t do that anymore.
XXX: Goodbye to you
(After 15 minutes)
YYY: I haven’t wasted two days! two! I didn’t fuck for two days, you know?
XXX: I am sorry

Customer (bondly) behind the back of Pervrgo designer: - Please play the fonts!

The first designer (loud to hear the second designer): - Arial!

The second designer: - Ah, I am on the "L"... e... Letter Gothic!

The first designer: Castron! You are on “N”!

The second designer: New Baskerville!

The first designer: Lazursky!

The second designer: Ishii!

The first designer: – A hundred on “A”... Academy!

The second designer: Janus!

Customer (silent): Thank you, thank you Let’s leave the letter as it is.

ACHTUNG> Bronic: give a picture?
<Bronic> and for what?
<Aktung> to see
<Bronic> I’m afraid of unfamiliar girls giving their photo, or you’ll take it to the puzzle and enchant))
“Don’t Be Afraid, I Adore Darwin and the Big Bang”

Comments under photo:

I watch you eat everything.
She: Yes, Serrez, while I eat - you press off.
He: Oh... I can’t eat x(
She is a fucks...

I work in an online store. The call:
Good morning, what days do you work?
We work every day.
And on Sunday?
Sunday is also every day.
Thank you, goodbye

Gazprom: Ukraine and Europe are to blame
Everyone is to blame, but not us.
Europe is cold.

Sterh (18:32) :
So guess what I first notice in a girl walking in a short shirt on a high sleeve, in a short jacket and with loose hair on the frost?

dark_duck (18:32) :
A frozen brain? O_O

Sterh (18:32) :
and bingo!

Peace talks in South Sudan: 37 killed

On a holiday abroad, I met an American. The hostess brought on the table a weirdness - quas. The American tried and liked it. The husband pushes aside: "Say what we do this from!" On the comment that the Russians are making quas from bread, the American makes amazed eyes. I wanted to get. "And we also make this soup in summer!" The curtains :)

XXX For Memory? I was told to drink the pills, I even bought them. But I forgot to drink) and then one day I forgot what they were doing. And then I forgot what they were called... and that’s all.

Conversation with Grandma. We rarely see.
Your beard is growing.
I: I am 25 years old.
Grandma: So what then? At 25 years old, my beard did not grow.

Come down from me, Biomass!
She: Not the biomasse, but your favorite girlfriend!! to

It is cold, the grandmother takes her first-class son to school. The son said that the grandmother’s car was uncomfortable and small. Comment of the husband: "Let him ride the bus. It is great!"

<Smesh> Yes, I’m not a big guy at all.
<Kirieshka> are you? This is said to me by a person in whose folder "Download" everything is ordered like in a bank!
<Kirieshka> fuck them with downloads, you have headphones from the player in your pocket! He was...

I’ve seen how our planes are gathering! If the detail doesn’t come in, they’ll fit it!! to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I have been building nuclear reactors for 10 years. We have always worked that way.

I go out the street in the evening, suddenly a guy stops, says, "Friend, can you borrow the phone, call me? I have a battery dead." I think of myself: "Yes! I will finally get rid of my Siemens C55 and buy a normal phone." and with the words "Yes, of course" I stretch his cell phone. He sticks on her for ten seconds, then returns and says "B** sorry, I forgot the number"

The frost. The third day I stayed at home. The soul goes to will. The eye begins to shake. All of us! I dress up. I go out to the street. I go smoking. I turn away. I go home. I dress up. I wrap myself in the blanket and turn on the film. Warm and comfortable. It’s not so bad to sit at home.)