bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 127 - ] Comment quote №42634
 03.02.2011
However, nothing has stopped the desperate Russian tourists. "Join, people, let us give copot to Tutankhamun!" - called on the blog of the Russian lady before flying to Hurghada, writes "Moscow Komsomolets". Not different from her, and the majority of Russians, who are already in Egypt and do not rush to leave. The eyewitnesses tell about them: "With the screams "All from here, we have a tour, the money is plotted!" - the Russians broke into the burning historical museum".

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №42633
 03.02.2011
I’ll go eat, I’ll buy, I’ll write
XX: A pleasant appetite
Thank you, when do you have lunch?
XX: I haven’t eaten since I started working in the police, there’s no time.
Q: Did you lose weight?? to
XX: Yes, I have not always been very big. My dad used to gently call me “Rama from the bicycle,” then “The Paper Horse,” and now he says that I am “Krepyš from Buchenwald.”

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42632
 03.02.2011
My wife tried to convince me to quit smoking with mathematics.
WOW: How is it?
First I calculated the money that we would save for a day without smoking, then for a month, then for a year, and for a lifetime.
How many years did she measure you?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42631
 03.02.2011
How to make coffee in Turkish?
YYY: The best way is –
put sugar in turkey, pour about 1 teaspoon of water or milk, then heat it all up to a light brown color. Then remove it from the fire and pour it with almost boiling water. To get to boil, the main thing is not to run away.
Hm, your way to make coffee, for some reason does not contain coffee :)

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42630
 02.02.2011
Her name is Logan. She didn’t understand why, in my opinion, her ideal couple would be a man with the name Parolev.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №42629
 02.02.2011
Russian tourists have threatened to suppress unrest in the country if they are hindered to rest. Representatives of the Ministry of Defense of Egypt went to negotiate with tourists. Ukrainians joined the demands of Russian tourists. The Ministry of Defense of Egypt is already seriously considering moving to the side of tourists.

[ + 117 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42628
 02.02.2011
And noticed how cool under the noise of the TEPACT pulled the law "On the police"?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №42627
 02.02.2011
Andrei: Why is your wife kicking me for the pop?
That’s what I taught her :)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №42626
 02.02.2011
Presentation of the new employee:
This is our new employee, Sereza. Please love and complain.
One of them decided to clarify:
How will we love you?
Serena was not upset:
The lips

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42625
 02.02.2011
The dialogue:
What is the actual salary of the MD?
About 20 thousand.
Is it rubles a month?
- In 9 years of work at the Moscow State University, I only encountered two ways to pay the salary: in no way or in Russian rubles:))

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №42624
 02.02.2011
by Borman64
by 12:49 PM
And a beard. Imagine the situation that you were locked up in a monkey after the strain and you are like: "Well, the devil is a policeman! Please let me go. I want to write after a lot of beer!", and he is so HUAJAK to your kidneys with a thumb: "My name is Mr. Police! For friends – just a gentleman!"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №42623
 02.02.2011
In the shop:
Please get up for the eggs.
It could have been said politely:"Rise up, please, in the line behind that man".

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №42622
 02.02.2011
My friend is 21 years old, I look at his status in contact:
"Blackjack is there, where are the prostitutes?"

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №42621
 02.02.2011
XHH: We put to sleep small. My husband and I were lying in bed and just learned that I was pregnant.
I’ll be like him, and the second will be a girl too. He begins to bubble something unclear that the guy would still like a boy, but of course will be happy with the girl too.
XHH: I develop a topic, throw, and if a twin, both girls? Again, he makes such a blatant protest...
HH: I am already laughing. What if there were three, and all the girls? And suddenly even for myself, at the end of this phrase I sneeze loudly.
On the other side of the bed, first a stunned silence, and then a loud whisper: Yes, no, no!!!! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №42620
 02.02.2011
A resident of France sued the pharmaceutical company GlaxoSmithKline and his doctor, claiming that the prescribed drug for Parkinson’s caused an obsessive need for homosexual intercourse and gambling. Because of this, he wasted family savings, stole, was raped, lost his job and tried to commit suicide. The applicant demands compensation of 450,000 euros.

[ + 106 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42619
 02.02.2011
I am from the times when the parents grew green onions from the roasted on the window in a bowl.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №42618
 02.02.2011
From the Women’s Forum:
XX: Give urgent advice on what to do.
I have about 2 hours in stock.
A man rushed to the office with a bag of unclean underwear instead of a bag of his things!
He will land at the airport in 2 hours, will call back, what should I say to him so he doesn’t get very angry?
YYY: There will be a time - the glory.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №42617
 02.02.2011
And the father said to him, "Remember, son, never cross the road like we have just crossed."

Homer Detective O_O

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №42616
 02.02.2011
In the school U (teacher), A (Anya)
Q. Do you always wear shoes?
A: Well... almost...
What, do you sleep in them?(The Smile )
Depending on where I sleep...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42615
 02.02.2011
Question to the doctor: Can it prevent the growth of my breasts that I sleep on my stomach?

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