bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №43694
 25.02.2011
A listening dialogue. Chief (H) and admin (A)
N – What else is this?
A – the complaint
What else is the complaint?
It is ordinary))
She is on my mother’s side (!!!)
Because you’ve taken me a lot.)

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №43693
 25.02.2011
24 February :

Do you think your wife gave you a gift?
YYYYYYYYYYY
XXX is a useful gift
The main place does not occupy.


[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №43692
 25.02.2011
My wife is a yoga instructor. I recently watched a pair performance with her participation.Finally I saw live what the expression means "in my mouth feet"...

[ + 70 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43691
 25.02.2011
Kurgan (somewhere near Chelyabinsk):
Clean up the orange!
What does "" mean? I’ll have to clean the straw for you!! The Nails!! to

That is jealousy!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №43690
 25.02.2011
14:51 She is my fish. and :-*
14:56 She: Why are you not answering me? and :-/
14:57 * He grumbled sadly "fish don't talk"

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43689
 25.02.2011
After Wednesday 23 February, from the morning there is a steady feeling that today is Monday. But there is one thought that if today and Monday, then you have to rejoice at least that the dream has come true and it will be the first Monday followed by Friday! It would always be so.)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43688
 25.02.2011
She: Jay, I was upset...
Do you always have this before the months?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №43687
 25.02.2011
SMS on the phone.
I can't go here today, my wife has given birth.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №43686
 25.02.2011
All those who carry Achineas always want to convey it to the people.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №43685
 25.02.2011
Stupid Mushra
In the school, when we served only a month, not more, of course, we
There was a foolish, meaningless moustache in everything.
Once upon a time, a genius man personally brought us for lunch. We stand in front of the entrance to the dining room in the column of five.
be equal! and calm! Right to the column one by one to the dining room!
(According to the command of running, everyone has to bend their fingers in their elbows...It looks stupid)
The Roth:
to postpone! We bend our hands at the same time.
Then the captain looked at me. My gaze expressed a whole range of feelings, mostly contempt, to this unnecessary, dumb mouth (I know how to express such views...)
You see, you don’t understand why you need all this?
I am :
That is true, Comrade Captain. We are not fighting for tanks, we are fighting.
They just came for lunch, so why invent new ways to get in?
Can it be simple, human? Why to jump across the gap
Where she is not?
The captain smiled and said:
And really, why am I tormenting you? The company is equal! and calm! Right to
One by one in the dining room!
When we got in, the team came in.
Root, go out on the street!
have built.
The Roth:
So when you ran to the dining room, I stopped the time. and now
Try to run into the door again, but without any dumb moisture.
Rules are just “human.”
I promise you that if you can improve your time, you will always go to the dining room as you like, I will not say a word.
The whole company’s eyes glittered with a huliganic glow.
I was appointed to command and measure time:
Well guys, we have taken it!! to
At the entrance, there was a bump of those who first missed each other, and then did not talk to each other, forming a wild blockade.
As we did not try (and we tried our best), "humanly" it was exactly twice as long... but behind us were three other hungry companies.

P.S
One day I was filming a game episode about the bandits.
Eleven people gathered and waited for their departure. All tall, beautiful, in camouflage and masks. Every machine (not a combat machine, but a metal machine, like the real one, just not a “crawl”) I saw them all for the first time.
They stood, smoked for half an hour, and I said to them:
Do you want to show me the magic?
I want to show you.
You and you served in the army, and the other eight did not serve.

They were very surprised, because I didn't even see their faces, but I guessed about the army, although they didn't do anything like that, just stood and smoked.

And it’s all very simple: only three out of eleven, never directed the trunk of their toy machine anywhere but the earth and heaven.

Everyone (who has not learned anything new from this story) with the holiday...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №43684
 25.02.2011
Our president stated that the scenario of the Arab revolutions will not pass by us.
And I totally agree with him. This is not the case when every bastard managed to escape.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43683
 25.02.2011
First channel news tape (small lines below)
"To study the nature of snoring, American scientists derived a breed of snoring mice"

[ + 63 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43682
 25.02.2011
The younger sister was given a direction for the analysis of feces for some lamblia there. Condition - the stool must be warm. The laboratory is 18 kilometers away and works from 8 to 9. Analysis should be done within an hour after.
The sister went to the toilet around midnight and joyfully resorted to her mother:
C: Mom, I have gotten up! to wash?
M: Wash it
Q: So can I warm up in the pot and in the morning in the microwave?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №43681
 25.02.2011
Orthodox conference in Chelyabinsk, the theme of the conference: "Youth and parish".

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №43680
 25.02.2011
Oh my God, oh my God!!! Finally it!! I found this!!!! I am the happiest man on earth!!! I am so happy!!!!!!! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Yyy: When I found Caps Lock, I was very pleased too!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43679
 25.02.2011
C by self:

> can not agree between themselves:
Putin does not climb to the internet, Medvedev does not climb to the government of the country.

M: By the way, let the country rule. Let me order, right?
Q: Stay away, do not interfere. Better play online.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №43678
 25.02.2011
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:
Gray, primitive...what are tomorrow’s couples?

xxx(0:28 ) :
Auau...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The Grey!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:
Semenovich without a leopard!!!! to

yyy(0:36):
where?! to

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №43677
 25.02.2011
My harsh gaze rushes to the distance, I feel a tide of forces and... not sori just wanted to go to the toilet.. =)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №43676
 25.02.2011
Will you be a waffle? ! to
Lena : Where is it?

And again from the section – What, where, where?! to

This happened in the military with a friend.

Question from the psychologist - do you live a sexual life?! to
Friend: Where is it?? to

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43675
 25.02.2011
I cut my finger when I was cooking! no, not with a knife! but with a blink! blink!When I got the oil from the refrigerator, there in the depth hid a long forgotten by someone dried dirt, he apparently spent there at least a month, dried up and dried up so that his edges became sharp no worse than a knife!

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