Yesterday I ate so that I went to work instead of 8 to 7.

Reaction to a negative review on the article about Freddie Mercury

San Sani4: You understand, he is gay and you are a pitcher, and these are two big differences

Was it in the park at all?
wt: there was, I remember a lake, a Greek-style pavilion and a wheel
wt: in any case, the husband overwhelmed the cabin at the top of the button 0_o

XX: Tell me about your recent relationship?
YYY: They are over.

As recently as the mother calls for lunch."Lesha go to lunch I have prepared an Italian dish perlotto".I think what perlotto is like,I remember that there is risotto.With great interest I came to the kitchen, sat down,covered with a fork in a pearl with mushrooms and I say:"Mamma, I don't like pearl, please prepare tomorrow BORSTELLO "

At work, the printer broke, they called Sisadmin, he just approached, immediately everything worked.
Maxim, you are God!
This is what women often say to me!

The Designer:
On February 23, the girls at work ordered a stripper.
And since we had the largest office, she danced in front of my table.
Ten minutes earlier, I had an urgent task from the boss.
Very urgent and from the big boss.
The girl was dressed. I have painted.
And when the music was silent, I asked a colleague, “Tanya, what format do you throw, jpeg or png?”
You can imagine what a rocker was there.

Commentary on the router trailer on the film Cosmopolitan with Pattinson in the main role:

Patison could easily be replaced with bacon, the film would not lose anything.

xxx: You see someone with Google Glasses, you scream “Search pictures, Flying Horses, Discover all results!” and you scream.
YYY: The glasses are set to the owner’s voice, which means they only perform his commands. This is done so that people with the same glasses do not interfere with each other.

Indy: "What are you dark, Anakin"

Thank you, friends, for the advice to buy before February 23 socks, shower gel, shave foam, deodorant. Now I have 4 pairs of new socks, 2 shower gels, 3 shave foams and a whole bouquet of fragrances in the form of deodorants.

A neighbor’s car battery was discharged. I went out and helped her get out of her car. I say, "You turn a little, 10 - 15 km is enough, or it will be discharged again. The neighbor affirmed and I returned home with a sense of duty.
In the evening, 6 hours. A call from her, the lovely lady with a complaining voice reports that the car is not starting again. As I dress up, I start to figure out how much she has gone through in the morning. It turns out this noisy man in the morning safely stifled the car and decided to drive the 15 kilometers indicated by me in the evening, because the gasoline was in vain to spend, and in the evening she still went to the barber.

Pipet, went to the accountant... we sit in the courtyard, in the semi-office-half-community (the third part of the office - three rooms for rent for housing), where it is not that the courtyards do not go - there birds do not fly! We work on pre-submersible machines, which even have flops and work on lemon. The phones remember the times when they just appeared. The windows are dear mother, the very building in which we sit is a two-story building, which was built by Nicholas the Second and, judging by the outline, remembers the uprising of the Bolsheviks and the overthrow of the emperor as a spectator of the first row. The attempt to refine the interior of the office did not lead to anything - the stairs remained oak and carved - they could not be removed and simply painted.
But at the same time - the bug has the last iMAC 27". On an old, rough table, on a circular towel...

You are the boss and you are a fool, once such a fool as I took the job.

Telephone correspondence, with all the spelling.
Vasya: Annette, I miss you very much, but there are a lot of slaves, and you can still see what happened to Elephon! As soon as I get free, I will call!

What else is Annie? You are wrong cattle, right? I’m waiting for him all day, and you fucking with what kind of anecdote do you copy? With whom? From his birthday, what? Fuck me, I hate it! Don’t call me anymore.

Didn't anything bother me in my message?

You’re going to fuck this mosque, and I don’t know you anymore! The cock!

Judging by the salaries of teachers, our government is made up of vengeant twins.

My friends call me to Finland for a weekend (by phone).
I say :
I'm going to Tallinn for the Earthfire concert, I'm back on Friday. I’m tired of going there.
Come from Tallinn to Finland.
And then I hear a wild voice: Who? Bl... who?? to

It is good to be a girl-military and on February 23 and March 8 gifts are given. And for us men to get a gift for March 8 you need to be Sergey Zverev.

>> From the program about divers on TV:
>>...Ural divers were diving into the water of negative temperature...

Ural divers are so harsh that they dive into the water of negative >temperature

Temperature of freezing of salt water below zero

(wd): can not reduce the stomach, increase the torso.