bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124820
 26.02.2016
Years do not take theirs, but they take mine.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124819
 26.02.2016
On Fighting Feminism and the Benefits of Archiving.
For lovers of court series.
In Toronto, the hearing in the scandalous case of Jian Ghomeshi has ended. For a long time he was a popular radio host, commentator and in general - a playboy. The Major. We are always fashionable and familiar with all kinds of celebrities.

But in 2014, a woman claimed that Jean was fucking her. In a sadistic form. And it happened ten years ago. The UPS. Reporters immediately joyfully rolled up and opened the dam with shit.

Here we should retreat for explanation. Until the 1940s, women in Canada had no rights. Then they fought, fought, and won the right. protection of rights. Those of whom they had not even dreamed of sufragiers with burning eyes. As Cobson sang, “The revolution has a beginning, the revolution has no end.”
Feminism is now an extensive business with powerful political leverage. Feminists in a quiet shoe infiltrated almost everywhere you can do something. In the police and the army they are taken in disarmament, as in Soviet times in MGIMO took children of workers. But then, when it turns out that the recruits are not able to pull the hose from the firefighters or the machine guns from the military, they are moved to warm places, thereby depriving the well-deserved veterans of reducing time until retirement.
I suspect it was the feminists who infused the current nonsense in the premiere. The same after the election in response created a cabinet of ministers, where exactly half are women. The fact that almost all of them jumped through five or ten steps and were assigned exclusively by gender was not confusing).
Concerned angry aunts have their own programs and magazines, where they outspokenly prove their superiority. The list of sexual offences has been significantly expanded. Now it includes sexual harassment, which can be touching (for example, too gently greeting the hand), words ( said, “You look appetizing”), and even looks (it can be in a mini jersey and socks). And the most funny - to prove the guilt of a man in sexual crimes is quite enough only the statement of the victim.
I used to think that the limit of cretinism in Canadian justice is to include suicide in the criminal code (now, though, it has been removed), but not. There are hundreds of cases in the courts where one spouse accuses the other of rape. Approximately a quarter of them came from the husbands who were taken by this witch.

I worked with a man whom my wife once studied. They drank together on the weekend. Then we went to the sofa. They argue about which movie to watch. The husband got angry, rattled, and went into the garage. The woman called the police and said her husband was beating her. While the police were driving, she made a sink, lubricating herself on the forehead with a bottle. The police took the man, as he was, put him in a cell, and locked him in a monkey. The next day, the judge deprived him of the right to approach his home for three months. The woman began to visit feminists, checking her condition. She was already unhappy with the man, and tried to withdraw the statement, but they did not listen to it, because they considered it a proposition of her husband. and so on. By the time we met, he had lived for more than a year, removing his room in the basement, regularly going to mark his sobriety and looked completely distracted.
But back to our sensation.
So, in the morning, all the newspapers came out with murderous headlines (such as “what Ivan Urgant hides in bed”). Jean was immediately dismissed (without a court ruling!) of the state radio corporation. He was removed as the leader of all future events. And most importantly, new and new victims began to be announced. They all gave the same testimony as this monster was suffocating and beating them in the course of the same. This happened 12 to 8 years ago. Interestingly, the monster did not deny his mild sadism, but said that everything was in mutual agreement... No one listened to him.
Finally the hearings began. Gomez took lawyer Marie Henein. It is worth talking about her in more detail. My aunt is smart. Not only did she break into the legal elite in a relatively short period of time; but also that from a typical crap and office horror she turned into a Hollywood wonder. In addition, she does not ignore the protection of women in the Canadian Feminist Coalition.
The interrogation of the victims begins. All of them, smashing the slugs, tell about this wicked Gomeshi, who suffocated them, beat them, and mocked them. And all this in detail, as if it hadn’t been ten years...
The sexy Mary, rubbing with her lips, does not argue, but asks the forty-year-old girls participatively how much this has upset them. And what feelings they have for the wicked. Everyone again agrees that their feelings are suppressed, and they cannot directly eat from this acute personal resentment. That is why they need compensation.
And here, in all the canons, the show begins. A projector is introduced into the hall, on which e-mails saved by Jean are displayed. Messages from victims. very much. The next day, a week later, and more after the attributed crimes. On all "victims" continue to flirt, discuss intimacy, send photos in swimsuits, and ask for new meetings!
The court will make a decision in March.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124818
 26.02.2016
Do you watch the news?
and no. I seem to have missed the first two seasons and now I don’t understand anything.

[ + 17 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124817
 26.02.2016
They invented a problem in an empty place. I make an elementary decision.
From the car with the label "Invalid" leaves the driver. The nearest police officer approaches him and silently shoots the driver in the leg. All, the problem is solved.
If the disabled is real - he will not have anything, the leg is still wooden. And if the “cursed disabled” is a fake... then it automatically becomes real!
So let’s get in the head right away. If a real disabled - budget savings, if a false - the inevitability of punishment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124816
 26.02.2016
No matter what the Roskomnadzor pleased - only if the pornography lab did not touch.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №124815
 26.02.2016
Stretch and Huawei

Strecosa wanted a smartphone, so that he, and he
You could call, and the box would fall.

Look at the internet, there is no real thing.
But ordering, and in two weeks yours.

A lot of goods are eaten from mosquitoes.
Spine for the back, glue luster on the wall,

Clothes for hand from a pot with boiling water,
Tile against cockroaches, and a double glass.

Stretchosa bought himself an ointment from the shadow on his lips,
A bag of turkin leather, twenty-eight blade knife,

Erotic trousers, narcotic weights
Painting for stitches and cabbage to laurels.

And then I watched – oh! Dengue is nothing.
Without a smartphone. Huawei with him. and abydus.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124814
 26.02.2016
Well, you also imagine that you met in the club with a beautiful man, he was nine meters tall, awakened together, and he was thirty centimeters lower. Would you like?

If he has a nice size and good technique, it will go well.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124813
 26.02.2016
As an actor of theatre. We don’t care how you dress. Thank you for coming and watching with gratitude.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №124812
 26.02.2016
In childhood there was a lemonade "clock", in adulthood the same "clock" - Bell whiskey "s whiskey ".

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №124811
 26.02.2016
On the subject of what goat men will tell you one real story:
There is a girl, her name is, let’s say, Dasha. She has a boyfriend, let him be a pasha. Pasha regularly deceives Dasha, insults, sometimes loosens her hands. Dashe was tired of this, she broke up with Pasha and began to scream about what all the men are goats. But Dasha noticed, let it be, Cole. He persuaded Dasha with all his strength that not all men were the same, beautifully cared for flowers, restaurants, gifts, said about sex, you will tell when you are ready. As long as you don’t want to, I won’t even hint". Friends of Dasha from Cole are delighted, parents too, Dasha herself says "how lucky I am with you, with you well, calm". And then Dasha begins to endure Cole's brain "you didn't call, you didn't write" and so on. That Kolya is at work, holds a meeting with subordinates, Dasha does not care. And then in the morning, Cole receives a text message that Dasha drops him and returns to Pasha. It is boring for her. No humiliation, no insults, no betrayal.
The question is, who is the goat in this situation? And why did the girl leave the one with whom she is well and calm?
Z is. Kolya is now living with a beautiful girl, planning a wedding, and Dasha has repeatedly tried to return to him, but was sent far and long.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124810
 26.02.2016
to theatre

Choosing a super-mega dress and making the evening makeup before going to the theater will be exactly the person who goes to theaters once every six months, or even less often, and exclusively on weekends, so that then to others to show what he is all in a white coat beautiful intellectual.
And if you go to theaters on weekdays after work and more often than once a month, every time you do not get rid of it, there is not always a banal opportunity. It all depends on the relationship. To whom the theater is the pants, to whom the show is to be seen.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №124809
 26.02.2016
Annotation for the book: "Terror has reached America. A terrible train rushes around the country, destroying and destroying everything on its way. He doesn’t need rails, he doesn’t need fuel or electricity – for he is the source of punitive rage, the incarnation of pure evil. In his wagons sit the dead, returned to the world of the living by the force of a terrible curse.

Paphnothy: The Pendos have stunned the dispatch service, broke up a mess on the lines, and then compose terrible poems.

Anonymous: Hm, directly electric on the route Kharkiv-Izyum in winter, judging by the description.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124808
 26.02.2016
Discussion of the issue
And let us be as a swallow, a cancer, and a squid, but we have a purpose, and it is like a carrot, and it is like a straw.
Carrot swallow, cancer and squid turn into a single mechanism that goes in the same direction.
2: Oh, and on the Hua-Hua Swan, Cancer and Shuka, is this carrots? Do I know something about them?
In fact, these donkeys go after the carrots tied in front of their nose.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124807
 26.02.2016
The Odessa colour.

In trolleybuses, there is often no conductor (apparently there is no money for their salary) - it is awfully uncomfortable, everyone has to go through the front, pay the driver.

But then you have to open all the doors in order to launch people - here "country" and jump through them.

Tired of this, the driver declares to the whole salon:
So, dear passengers, we go out through the front door – we get our conscience out of our pockets!

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124806
 26.02.2016
This is:

A full car:

Their mother! What is E@Uzz?! to
and licking! How how? Have fun with the bones!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A good attempt, but not in time.
Winter is over and your bone is still wide.

################

How much more pleasant than inadequate weightlifting people are quiet, benevolent people of any composition. You would eat anything, at least something, but like a hungry dog on other people's bones you throw.

– Sophia Lvivna, is your niece Hayek so thin?
– Rose Moiseevna, and where did you see, the shaft on the thorns of the fat grew?! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124805
 26.02.2016
On sale in the store "The price is reduced! It is cheaper for free!! Someone put a paper with the inscription: "Thank you, this is not for nothing"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №124804
 26.02.2016
Vanilla is not always romantic. Romance is not always vanilla. If I were given two Seagov usb-joysticks, a box of bottle beer, a bag of snacks and told that this weekend we both go to cooperative old Seagov games for beer, disconnecting phones and the internet... well, I would be out of romance.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124803
 25.02.2016
Parks and squares of Moscow. We found a site with a complete list of parks.

There is a Moscow Zoo. Is it a park too?
Yyyy Agha, and the aquapark too.
Zzz And also the trolleybus park No. 2 do not forget!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124802
 25.02.2016
The news:
At the Department of Police No. 3 in the Kirovsky district, a 25-year-old Uffimets appealed to the office with a statement about the disappearance of his beloved dwarf.
The comments:
1. what if he was wiped out or taken in order to harm someone?
Do you use a heater?))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124801
 25.02.2016
Last year Easter fell on the Day of Cosmonautics and on this occasion the atheist-Orthodox holiwar erupted.
This year, we are on the road, comrades. Easter falls on the Feast of Spring and Labor.

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